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My boyfriend has Autism. What now?
An_250770 posted:
So I have been with this guy that has autism for about 6 months. I knew from the start that he had it but I didnt think to much of it nor did I really even know what it was. I was talking to him online for a few months then finally decided to meet him. He was still the sweetest guy ever but it was very clear that something was a bit off/wrong. He doesnt beat me or anything(Honestly I dont think he has it in him) He takes me out wherever I like, HES A DREAM MAN!!!

From day one I questioned if this was something I could truly handle. I dont want to be yet another person in his life that doesnt accept him. But then again I think about the family that I want in the future... There is like a 50/50 chance that our baby will have Autism. I know that even with a healthly man the chance is still there but I feel like I'm giving this to my children knowing that the father has it.

I already love him more then life itselfs but I am having trouble accecting him having Autism. I understand that its not something that will just go away. I love him so much but its so hard sometimes thinking about all this. How does one handle this mentally?

I have had alot of boyfriends in the past that were mentally retarded... I begin to question, is something wrong with me? Is something wrong with me for loving a man with autism? Is having Autism really a BIG DEAL? But he is the sweetest man I've even met and I want to make it work but I dont know how to open my heart and just let go. Its either that or leave him?

Hes definitly more normal than others. He is very social, has a lot of friends, and expresses him love for me on the daily. I am so thankful and are begining to feel bad for judging him in my head. When my family first met him they talked so much stuff but even they had to admit how cool he was cool and actually like having him around.

I would like a friend to talk to... someone that understands what I'm going threw, someone to talk to really, God knows I cant talk to him about it. He know that his autism makes me a bit uneasy but he doesnt know anything futher then that, as he shouldnt it would hurt him too much.

I just wish I wasnt so scared of autism. I guess I'm so scared because I dont understand it. I'm pretty sure no one does. I just want to be with him and be happy, worry free. Is there anyway of this working?
An_250977 responded:
This book is excellent. You should read this.

The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband [Paperback>David Finch

Book DescriptionRelease date: October 9, 2012The warm and hilarious bestselling memoir by a man diagnosed with Asperger syndrome who sets out to save his marriageAt some point in nearly every marriage, a wife finds herself asking, What the @#!% is wrong with my husband?! In David Finch's case, this turns out to be an apt question. Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains David's ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, but it doesn't make him any easier to live with.
Determined to change, David sets out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband with an endearing yet hilarious zeal. His methods for improving his marriage involve excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, the Journal of Best Practices: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies, including "Don't change the radio station when she's singing along" and "Apologies do not count when you shout them." Over the course of two years, David transforms himself from the world's most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest. He becomes the husband he'd always meant to be.
Filled with humor and surprising wisdom, The Journal of Best Practices is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart can conquer all.

Spotlight: Member Stories

My son and I have Asperger's. My goal is to share our gifts from this, rather than being discouraged about how we "don't fit in".

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