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Growing impatient for diagnosis-please advise!
danielleisdone posted:
After 22 years of marriage and a growing awareness of many Aspie like issues I cannot seem to get my husband to follow through and accept a diagnosis. We are in round 3 of testing and diagnosis and counseling without coming to terms with it. We have spent a lot of money for testing but the he does not go back for the final diagnosis or recommendation. I have had extreme lows seeing some of the test results and at this point don't think I will continue the marriage. He might know this and that is why he is dragging his feet. Actually, the more he postpones this the more I want to leave.
I think having a diagnosis and some counseling might help me at least consider whether or not we should continue-but this has been going on for 5 years while I am waiting to get on with some kind of life. Am I right that a diagnosis will help us?
I've met another person that wants to have a relationship-I like him very much and he is waiting as well. It might sound unfair but I am not getting my needs met and don't want to lose the possibility of the new relationship.
Do you think it is alright for me to have a contingent relationship until husband follows through? I believe I deserve some cooperation from husband and an honest clear diagnosis. I am not a user or unkind person at all-probably have put up with too much. I just want to be happy, like everyone else.
pinksapphire responded:
Do you really believe that any diagnosis of your husband's symptoms on the autism spectrum will give you you claim you want in order to get on with your life? You are using it as an excuse to leave your husband now you have found a partner that promises to be easier to love with. I do not believe a "contingent" relationship with this other man is fair on either men. If you no longer love your husband, fine. But don't blame the Aspergers after 22 years of marriage. Face it you are bored in your marriage, middle aged and feel the last decades of your life will be wasted if you stay in your current relationship. So put on your big girl panties, stop blaming your husband for something he cannot control and get on with your life!

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