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married to aspie
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An_256691 posted:
I have been married to an aspie for almost 35 years. He was always "different." But he pursued me over 8 years, and I thought it had to be true love. There were some issues in the beginning, but I would think that is the case for many newlyweds. We moved overseas with a organization that worked with teens.

We had our ups and downs, but nothing abusive until we had been married and had three children. Suddenly, one night as I was almost asleep he started verbally chastising me for not getting a sewing project done yet. I had told him a few weeks before that I planned to do it when the kids were done with school. He went on and on. I didn't sleep well, but thought it was just that something happened at work.

But it wasn't. He began to have these episodes of verbally abusing me over things that puzzled me. I could not reason with him at all. I began to hate to seem him come home. Then he started verbally abusing two of our children.

In 1997, I tried to leave him, but did not have the resources to survive. Those episodes got more and more obnoxious and abusive. I had no idea what to do.

After surviving an abusive church, it was clear to me that the church was not the only problem that was increasing my anxiety problems. By 2011 I was (and still am) on heart meds for hypertension and others for anxiety. There is no stopping him once he starts, and it is getting worse.

I am in such bad shape anxiety and health wise that I cannot hold down a job. I went through five jobs in five years and am now basically unemployable. So, unless something changes, I am stuck.

My kids are all married and have children. The two who were abused have recovered. I haven't because I'm still married to him and have nowhere to go. If by some miracle I survive him, I will NEVER get married again.
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