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Living with a husband with Aspergers
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An_256843 posted:
I've come across this site and the discussion - and am now feeling thoroughly depressed. After 10 years of marriage and two children (one of whom has been diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD) I too feel like many of the people / women who have posted on this site. My husband is not as bad as many people describe here - but there are elements of his personality that must make him Aspergers. I am not allowed to call him or refer to him as 'my husband' - apparently it is similar to owning something and referring to him as a handbag. He is incapable of having a discussion about anything with regard to our relationship and I've now given up. I've gone from being mrs career woman, self-assured and out there, to down trodden and miserable. I live on the other side of the world to my family and whilst I have very good friends its just not the same. His boys adore him. They long for his attention, and whilst he says he loves them, he just doesn't enjoy them. If it's not about him then it just isn't interested. He is not violent - but his outbursts and his silent simmering anger is mentally abusive. I would like to leave but we work together and where we live in Australia is massively expensive - my boys would suffer, the one with ASD would surely miss out on therapies and quite frankly I don't want to hand my children over to him every other weekend. I can't work out whether the contact they have with him now is better than nothing and the weekend contact they would have without me managing the situation in the back ground would be unhappy. I can't work to what I'm frightened of. Failing? Letting my kids down? Or would I be better to go before I hit 50 and have some chance of the boys seeing me in a positive relationship with someone rather than in an unhappy marriage. How did I find myself here? Married at 39 and now 10 years on am a sad thing posting on a website. We don't sleep together because i apparently snore and he is a light sleeper. When is suggested ear plugs he said he didn't want to sleep with ear plugs so he wouldn't - so as a result I don't sleep with him. He has a yacht - our yacht it was bought as - until I realised that was just a ruse for him getting a huge boat. He has an affair ( having preached to me how trust was everything) and all of a sudden it becomes me who's at fault for him breaking that trust and how annoyed he is about it all (what about dear? Getting caught?!). Hell - what a mess. Do I just hang on in there and milk it until the boys are 12 and 13 (5 years time) or go now ? Questions questions...
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