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Mom of 21 year old with PDD/Aspergers
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charleygood posted:
I know that when my son was young I would have loved to hear this. He is now in a four year college and doing okay. Not great but okay. He is a criminal justice major and gets by. Social life is hard sometimes (any tips???) but overall he is pretty happy. Hanging in there moms and dads is soooooo important. They do get better inch by inch. Not cured but better.
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Frenchjr25 responded:
The best thing is for him to be himself.

Not having a social life is not the worst thing in the world. If people like him they will seek him out.

It's important not to judge his life based on the expectations of the "normal" college experience.

I am a university senior and have a nice circle of friends. I can be interesting to get along with but they understand and they care about me. They also understand that I don't socialize very well. And they sought me out. I am perfectly happy sitting by myself reading or thinking.
 
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LuckyLeft responded:
I'm a college student with PDD/Aspergers as well, and I don't think a person is ever 'cured' of the disease, as my parents seemed to be under the impression for a while as well. The best we can do is adapt to the situations around us. It just takes a little while longer than everyone else. And yes, I agree with Frenchjr25, if they're interested in your son, they will seek him out.

What helped me make it though by having a small nucleus of friends who were willing to help me out socially, and even though I've lost touch with most of those people due to me moving back home (finances), it was the best way to deal with people socially being someone w/ ASD. That's one thing about society that bugs me. Being labeled an 'outcast' because one isn't social as the 'average person'. I can do just fine by myself listening to music or reading, without the constant need to be around people in most cases. But if he's happy I don't see that much of a problem to be honest.....
 
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cknowl01 responded:
I also agree, let them seek him out. It was extremely difficult as a mother to know your child is the outcast. No one wants it to be there child but it was and I finally came to grips with it and decided to accept it for what it was and realized he was much better off and happier playing by himself than having to deal with the cruelness and ignorance of the other neighbor kids.
 
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zanie12 responded:
I will be facing the same problem you have discussed. I have a child that is not too social. He will be college age in a couple of years. We are doing some preplanning. We are currently looking into colleges with strong disability programs. Our wish is for a college program with an autism support. Also, have you researched any autism programs (social groups) for young adults in the area. A good place to start would be the are CILs. Also, check if the young adult would be cover under your state's medicare wavier program. Each state is different and with in the program if he qualifies--offer help and support that could help.
 
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Bioguy22 responded:
I am a 22 year old with Aspergers Syndrome who is also a college student. I have gone through many of the challenges your son is experiencing. one thing that helped me relax in social situations is to take a class for improving social skills. At my college, they have an 8 week course for people with Autism/ADHD that helps people tackle social issues and other concerns. It was one of the best things I have ever done. I suggest you ask your son to see if a similar group exists at his college.
Good luck.


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