I give up
avatar
marysings posted:
I have no disk at all between S1 and L5. Just a little bit of disk between L5 and L4, and L4 and L3. And what little disk there is between those spine parts is bulging. So I have 3 areas of bone on bone.

I gave up. The inversion table causes more pain after I've used it. Saturday I used it twice. Sunday I didn't use it at all. I can't take the pain anymore. I called Dr.G's office and I have an appointment on Thursday. The nurse said he'll probably want to schedule surgery. And of course, there is no appropriate time for surgery. *tears*

I want to scream Why Me!?? I have so many physical ailments and then throw on the depression which is large enough to cover everything and I am a mess. I pray often that God will never leave me and I know He won't.

I don't like my life right now.
Reply
 
avatar
davedsel57 responded:
Hello, MarySings.

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I can fully empathize and understand all too well what you are going through.

I hope you can get some good news from your doctor on Thursday. Try and relax and do what you can to help your pain.
Maybe a nice hot soak in the tub or a hot shower would help.

Praying all works out for the best for you.
Blessings, -Dave
 
avatar
maltlover responded:
Aww, marysings, I am so sorry. I can honestly tell you that I know exactly how you feel, as do many of us on this board. The sad fact is that many times, as hard as we fight, the end result is that surgery is the only option left that may help.

Please try to remember that there are many, many, people out there who have had very successful spinal surgeries. The think is, we don't hear from them because they have no need to be on these boards.

If it would make you feel better, get a second opinion which you should anyway. I don't bother with that anymore as my surgeon has seen me through my last 3 surgeries and my trust in him is complete. That's as it should be.

If your depression is caused from your spinal problems, then perhaps you will feel better once you get it out of the way. If it is more deep seated than that, then you should talk with your family dr. and get on some kind of anti-depressant. They help so much in dealing with chronic pain. And pain is made worse by depression so its a case of chasing the tail!

I think most of us have cried the blues and I can only speak for myself when I say that this board was a saving grace for me many times in the past. I daresay I am going to need the good folks here again as I have some problems that my pm can no longer help with and he wants me to see my surgeon. Ugh. And so, on it goes.

Stay in touch, marysings and let us try to help you through this.

Carol
 
avatar
bj1208 responded:
hi marysings - i am so sorry that the inversion table did not help - but maybe there are too many problems with your spine for it to help -

and since you do have bone on bone it would seem that maybe surgery will help -

I know that I have/had degenerative disc disease at L5-S1 and had fusion surgery - now I have 3 bulging disc at L4-5; L3 and L2 and I went to see an orthopedic spine specialist and he said NO to surgery - stating a multilevel fusion would need to be done but that it would only add to my pains and not make them any better - so I know what pains you are in -

it's not fun - but what I do is look at other things in my life - I have 2 beautiful daughters - my oldest is marred and has 2 beautiful AUTISTIC boys (ages 3 and 4 1/2) yes we have our hands full but wouldn't have it otherwise -

so between my hubby and I we have 5 grandkids with one on the way - we are blessed to have such a big family and just recently our nephew came back from Afghan -

so there are so many thing that we have to look forward to - if I didn't do these things I seriously think I would be completely depressed - yes I have chronic back pain and still wear a back brace - have nerve damage in both legs and wear a leg brace on left leg because of drop foot - but every day i look forward to everything that makes me smile -

please don't let depression get you - it's tough when the pains are bad but there is always something to help lessen them -

take care and let us know how ur appt goes on Thursday - Joy~~
 
avatar
vel38 responded:
Hi Mary I had a fusion on L4 and L5 and it coolapsed. I was very suicidal. Please dont give up hope. I have degenerative disk disease and I am not a happy camper. I am always in pain. REMEMBER GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE US!! : )
 
avatar
bj1208 replied to vel38's response:
hi vel - think i just responded to one of your other posts - you are so right - God will never give us more than we can handle - please please keep with us and look at the response to your other post -

God Bless - Joy~~