Back Pain Community

Before I ask my question, I`ll start with my history..... When I was 13-14 years old, I went on a road trip with my older sister, from GA to NC. I noticed that I would have to have her pull over a few times because my left leg would go numb and start having a dull aching pain. I didn`t think anything of it, i was only 13 or so. Around 15-16 years old, i started having to stand up in class because after 30-45min of sitting, my left leg would go numb with the same aching pain. It happened so much, I brought it to my doctors attention. He said he thought that when i sat down, my disc slid and pinched my nerve, causing my leg to go numb. He had me do physical therapy for a little bit, to strengthen my lower back. I`m not sure if it got better, or if I just ignored it better but.... Around 21-22 I noticed it occurring much more often with much more severe pain. I worked a total of 3 part time jobs, working 6 days a week. 3 days at a dentist office, sitting and standing. 2-3 days a week at Papa Johns, standing. 2 days a week at a spa, sitting and standing. It got so bad I could not sit. I could not stand. I just absolutely could not get comfortable no matter what I did. It was so weird because I did not understand how something could be so numb yet hurt so so bad. My left foot was numb all the time, my left leg was numb pretty much all the time, and both hurt, throbbed, ached soooo bad, I was having spasms in my butt, thru to my thigh, that someone pointed out to me, i didnt even notice myself! My doctor did an MRI and said I had a herniated disc(L4-L5) and suggested physical therapy, which did nothing. My chiropractor tried disc decompression therapy, which only made the symptoms start in my right leg too. Every doctor I saw was surprised to walk in and see me sitting there. They all said by looking at my MRI, they thought they were looking at the bones of atleast a 60yr old woman. I was even tested for osteoporosis. At 23!! So, I ended up having a microdiscectomy. My neurologist said i may never have all the feeling back in my foot, but she guaranteed id wake up from surgery with no more leg pain. When they went in to remove the herniated part of the disc, turns out it was not herniated but ruptured and had ruptured so long ago, the ruptured part was starting to harden and form calluses. And here I am, a yr and a half later.While the pain has lessened quite a bit, i still have numbness, and there still is pain. Sometimes so bad I cant even wear a shoe. After weighing the good and the bad, I totally 100% regret having back surgery... So my question is: Is it possible for back surgery to mess you up mentally? I dont even know if this is possible but it is like something snapped in my head. I cant hold down a job, I cant even wake up to an alarm clock. I have no concept of time anymore. I went from working 3 jobs to not even able to work one. My boyfriend and a few others have told me that I woke up from surgery, a totally different person. I feel so much pressure to get back to the old me that I am pressuring myself even more and feel like Im putting myself that much further back. I dont even really know how to explain how I feel or what im going thru. I mean its been a year and a half and I still have not figured it out. Has anyone else gone thru this or know someone who has? Or anyone with any works of advice??? Im losing it.....