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    getting to the end of my rope.
    An_254324 posted:
    Hello everyone
    I am a new member here and I would appreciate your insight and suggestions regarding my situation. I injured myself 10 years ago (for the 5th time) and this particular injury was a life-changing event. I fell down some oak stairs while carrying a heavy server and pulverized part of my vertebrae, They also found compression fractures, degenerative disk disease, stenosis, sciatica and nerve damage. I am now on total disability. About 8 years ago a doctor put me on Oxycontin and my life went to hell. I will spare you the gory details of my spiral into addiction but I managed to get off of the opiates, with the help of my Psychiatrist, Three years ago I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma and last year I was diagnosed with emphysema. I have been under Psychiatric care for 6 years due to depression and suicide attempts. I see a pain specialist and currently take Butrans patches, neurontin, cymbalta, and otc meds to try to control the pain. I puyt a brave face on to my wife and children but I am in agony every day, don't sleep, have lost interest in everything I used to love, lost my libido, my memory, and my quality of life. Several doctors have told me that I have to be realistic and go back on opiates. I have an addictive personality and that would probably lead to my demise. I have tried every remedy listed on this board and then some without success. I know there must be someone out there that has an answer or solution. I only hope that they happen to read this post. Thank you and I apologize for whining. There are many in this world worse off than me that are coping. Thank You.
    darlyn05 responded:
    Have you tried Lyrica? Maybe a different combination of meds is the answer.
    shaymus replied to darlyn05's response:
    Thank you for your reply. I have discussed Lyrica with my doctors and they will not prescribe it to me because of side -effects. Specifically depression and suicidal thoughts and attempts. I do appreciate the reply.
    davedsel responded:
    Hello and welcome.

    While I can not offer any new insight other than what you have been reading in this community, I can say that I fully understand.

    Keep doing your research, keep moving as much as possible and keep a positive attitude.

    Come here any time to update us or just to vent. We know what you are going through.
    Click on my username or avatar picture to read my story.


    tlh509 responded:
    I can identify with your pain issues like most everybody else here. I am just going to throw this out there for you. May I suggest seeing/talking with a psychologist? I was put on a new anti-depressant about 4 years ago, and it went not so good. I went and talked with my psychologist, and it helped me immensely. I think it would be good, and maybe help if you talked with a professional about your issues. I hope this helps. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep repeating this. Take care and keep us posted.
    aprilrose9 responded:
    Dear An_254324,

    I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through for YEARS.

    Unfortunately, I am unfamiliar with the course of treatment for pain patients who cannot take opiates, so please, have patience with my ignorance.

    Dave suggested doing research and I wonder if there is a group somewhere in the country which deals with your issues with pain medication. I am completely impressed with your strength, since I hardly make it through life... and I am able to take opiates.

    I don't see any mention of surgery. What suggestions have been made other than p.o. pain meds? .Also, are you able to take an increased dose of Neurontin? I think you can take up to 3600mg per day. Not sure, since I haven't checked this lately.

    I remember several years ago, CBS news did a segment on the evening news about a hospital in (I think San Francisco) who were helping patients who were struggling in other parts of the country. At the time, they were willing to read your MRI/CT or whatever you had and let you know if they could help you. This was free of charge.

    I wish I could be of some help to you. Do not worry about writing your issues on this site, because I complain longer and more than EVERYONE.

    Keep in touch and let people know how you are doing.
    trs1960 responded:
    I'm on a pain pump and I have no idea if it's even relevant, but let me point out that it does not place opiated in your blood strewn and should not have any interaction with your addictive behavioral issues. It only dispenses micrograms of medication directly into your spinal fluid allowing the opiads to find the necoceptors (pain receivers) directly.

    It also is programmed and controlled by your doctor so you can't abuse your meds by hoarding etc.

    Drug abuse is probably the last reason they would consider going to a pain pump, but I can see a lot of benefits if the modality fits your prognosis.

    I'm sure there's a lot of hurdles you would have to clear, but this may be a way for you to get opiad pain relief without all the destructive side effects.

    Because the opiads are injected directly in to the cerebrospinal fluid you don't get the addictive side effects and you don't get any opiads in your bloodstream or your renal system. This saves your kidneys and liver!

    The amount of analgesic is 100th-500th the amount used when taken orally.

    Best of luck.

    shaymus replied to trs1960's response:
    Thank you ALL for your replies and words of encouragement.
    To answer a few of the questions:
    I have been told by 4 surgeons that I am inoperable due to the profound amount of damage to my spine and disks. They gave me less than 50 % odds of getting any relief and all of them said that I would be in worse shape not long after surgery. The last spine & pain specialist said that she and her team had reviewed my mri and the prognosis was "grim" That I had to face reality and go on opiates.

    As for the pain pump:
    I have asked my current pain specialist about this but he refused to entertain the idea. He is a paranoid 9-11 conspiracy guy and is afraid that ANY type of opiate related therapy will bring down DEA swat teams to his clinic. I know, find another doctor. For me this is problematic since my history of behavior is known to many of them and my current (crazy) doctor is within a distance that I can tolerate.

    As to to psychotherapy:
    I have been see4ing one for 6 years and have an appointment for another that offers group therapy next month.

    I do believe that I have been very proactive in my pursuit of appropriate avenues but as I said...i AM GETTING TO THE END OF MY ROPE. Thank you all.
    aprilrose9 replied to shaymus's response:
    Dear Shaymus,

    Thanks for the update and explaining surgical intervention is out of the question.

    I wish I had something to say which would help you, unfortunately, I can see the complexity of your situation. Being in pain, makes traveling long distances to a physician on a regular basis, very difficult or impossible for many patients.

    The only thing I can do, is to encourage you to keep in contact with the people at this site, because some people come and go due to their pain problem. Sometimes, even the next day or week, someone who missed your initial information may have a good idea for you. Also, I have had many days when I felt very alone and in terrible pain and people at this site reached out to me. This is a wonderful place to find support.

    Please, keep in touch.
    tlh509 replied to aprilrose9's response:
    Yes, and just take things as best as you can one day at a time. Sending some positive vibes your way. Tom

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