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    Frisky Frantic Friday Daily BP Post *POSS TRIGGERS*
    BipolarDisorder2 posted:
    Afternoon, Beepers ;p

    Weather: DISGUSTING...Super downer (my mood seems to be strongly associated with the weather...if it's rainy/gross I tend to be more depressive/irritable/angry)

    Sleep: Good- had some wine as a desperate attempt to calm my asthma cough, so I didn't do too bad...and was up early to go to DHS this morning.

    Mood: Depressive/anxioius/putting up more walls and being very guarded.

    Plans: Deciding whether I want to push my friend away with my walls or let her in...I'm very guarded right now because of a lot of things I've been going through, and I'm anti-friend/don't want any/don't need any right now...don't care who I hurt or who I don't. Although I always need youguys ;p Other than that, hoping to GOD my man emails me tomorrow...I need him.
    *Hugs* to all.
    BipolarDisorder2 responded:
    Ok..I admit it. I'm sad today. There, I said it.
    margaroo replied to BipolarDisorder2's response:
    BP2 - Awwww, sorry you are sad and guarded. I know that you are carrying a tremendous load. If there is one thing I have learned in my 14 years of this diagnosis, it is that things will change. It takes its own sweet time and it may be hard to imagine that it will, but things will get better. Hang in there.
    A hundred hugs,
    Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
    ddnos responded:
    Weather - too unmotivated too check

    Sleep - good

    Mood - here

    Plans - was supposed to go to PT this morning but cancelled it last nigth - made mistake of making appt for morning, even tho it was late morning. need to make appts for as late in afternoo as possible if any chance of getting to appt. have no other plans for rest of day other than try to go grocery shopping. need to very much.
    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
    BipolarDisorder2 replied to margaroo's response:
    Thank you, Maggie *hugs* I really appreciate it...I have just never hit this 'low' in my life and now that I have, I'm just liking my fortress with walls, you know? I like it here by myself where nothing can get me, nobody can hurt me, it's safe and I can control what's going on, who comes in/out and what happens...IDK it's just where I'm happy right now, which is kind of weird, but I'm happy with my walls.

    Thanks so much for the <3 & understanding.
    BipolarDisorder2 replied to ddnos's response:
    'Here' is a good mood, yeah? LOL <3
    margaroo responded:
    Good morning, my friends!

    I can't believe that I am one of the first to post today. Given my schedule, that never happens.

    Weather: You'd be jealous

    Sleep: Pretty good, woke up very stiff and sore.

    Mood: OK, when get my body comfortable I will be able to make it out of the house to run a couple errands. This is a big relief. It takes me a week or two to be able to do this.

    Plans: Pick up "Return to Work" from my rheumatologist. Then off to Target to exchange a couple shirts I got my husband for Father's Day.

    A strange thing happened yesterday. They guy who installed our air/heat system last year came by to check the fan. He also offered me a job of answering his phones, taking and passing along messages, etc. I can do this from home, 8 to 5, M - F. This is his own company and it is small, but he gets a fair amount of work. He would pay me in cash, so I don't have to report it to Social Security. He told me that he needed someone reliable and he can trust me. This is true, I am very dependable and honest, almost to the point of being a "goody two shoes". (Does anyone use that term anymore?) It sounds like a great job for me, since I work only Saturday nights and I don't get out of the house much on weekdays. He asked me would want for pay. I have no idea. I haven't worked in an office in 35 years. The job does not include any office work, filing and the like. I did not know what to answer and I asked him what he would offer. This man if very fair. When I was deciding what system to install, he would tell me if I didn't need it. He did not charge me for the service call yesterday because nothing was wrong with the system. He comes from a culture that bargains, but I feel more comfortable being given an offer that I could mull over. I asked him to think about it and call me and we left it at that. It would be a relief to make some extra money. My house needs a lot of TLC. We don't invite anyone over because we are embarrassed. It will take thousands to paint, refinish floors, etc., but this can give us a start. I hope this all works out.

    Hugs to all and I hope this is the start of a good weekend for you.

    Extra hugs,

    Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
    BipolarDisorder2 replied to margaroo's response:
    PS Maggie: Is 'this' part of the 'illness'? Like is being guarded and not wanting people to come in, and just hiding and being anti-social and knowing you should go out with friends (if I could bloody well afford to) and you don't, and you just don't care how ticked they are?

    I ditched a 'friend' a few weeks ago- (she was NEVER a friend and I think she really hurt my man's & my relationship bigtime last year, but that is a suspicion) and ever since then I'm being very guarded like I said, and not interested in friends...of course I have youugys and some other people, but I only keep people at arm's length, like at a distance, far enough I can see their next move. I just don't care right now, just not interested in help and I'm happy to go about my life the way I want and I don't need friends to do that.

    Sorry I'm rambling...
    ddnos replied to BipolarDisorder2's response:
    no, "here" is not a good mood
    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
    tryforever replied to ddnos's response:
    BP2...hope you get out of your mood and that you have a good weekend..

    This week was a hard one for me as my mood was high mid-week and persisted. The best way I have found that helps is to recognize it and use cognitive therapy in combination with medication to combat it. Prayer has helped to....

    Sending positive thoughts out to all for a calm weekend and a good start to the week..

    BipolarDisorder2 replied to tryforever's response:
    Thanks, TryForever- I hope you have a good weekend too.
    margaroo replied to BipolarDisorder2's response:
    BP2 -

    I do tend to be a "home-body" partly due to the BP2 and partly because of the fibromyalgia. Both cause my fatigue and it takes me a few hours to get my body warmed up and feel like moving. My pdoc as prescribed Concerta to help me get off the couch, but it was a bit too strong. I will be trying Adderall starting tomorrow. Not wanting people over is 90% of being embarrassed by the state of my house. I guess it is not as bad as I think it is, but the entire interior and exterior needs painting and a few things need to be updated.
    Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
    BipolarDisorder2 replied to margaroo's response:
    I'm a huge homebody too

    I understand how you would feel though- fibromyalgia is awful awful... I hopeyou feel better and I hope the Adderall works- finding the right drugs is a hard process, I'm sure. I'm sure your house isn't THAT bad *HUGS*

    (I actually had meant is my issue with 'walls' part of BP, but I'm all for an explanation of your homebodiness too LOL! )
    mattthecat responded:
    Howdy from Texas J says hello also.

    Weather: Cook food on the sidewalk hot.

    Sleep: enough

    Mood: N/A

    Plans: I am assisting the Energizer Bunny my wife has turned in to four days ago with cleaning and all of the various projects she has started and wants to finish. I am not going over board because I would need the energy of three people to keep up with her. Other then that I work later (overnight).

    BipolarDisorder2, ddnos I hope both of you start felling better soon.

    Dyanne48jj responded:

    I see alot of my family here is down and out, its cause you missed me so much. Cheer up, I'm back and i wuv you guys! tight hugz to all!
    (btw, someone on here Better say they missed me at least hehe)

    Maggie...WOW bravo, that sounds so wonderful for you! You are right, he needs to make the decision first. SInce its cash you dont want to say something too high and him change his mind or if you so something too low and he was thinking higher. so good answer to him lady

    bp2 aka Brit..did you see your messege under 'what if' lol
    I KNOW I am crazy....THAT is what keeps me from going INSANE!!! Oceans and Stars- Dyanne

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