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Need to Runaway
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littlerunaway posted:
Where to begin,
Long Story but all I can say is I feel the need to runaway from family. I'm Bipolar, explosive, irritable, agitated, restless, depressed etc. and all in all TOXIC to those around me. Meds take to long to work and I just dont have the patience, or they are too strong and make me sick, so I tend to refuse therapy. Husband wants me to check into hospital. I feel its useless. So I ranaway while kids are at grandparents. I feel they are better off but husband says they need their mom. Really??? Better seeing me in hell? or better when mom is out of sight out of mind. I want ro run so far and create a new life. I know in my head that's not possible but I still run. Not sure what to do. So with not knowing what to do I felt the need to stock pile all sleeping pills (Just in Case). Not saying I'm suicidal but I'm scared and just dont know what to do, I'm a planner so I also felt need to hide pills in a bag, where they will not be detected just in case my husband follows through with having me involuntarily commited. So far I've been really good at manipulating system and hes unable to legally have this happen. But just in case I've got the plan. Dont want to use the pills, so I left ran away hoping when I get the energy to create new life. And as for the kids. Their dad is Amazing and I know they are well taken care of. Better if I'm not there.l

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Should I go to inpatient? Episode lasting now 2 mths. Lost 35lbs. Havent slept more than 4hrs in 3 wks. I hate to loose my freedom in the hospital, hate rooming with someone, hate meds, HATE THE IDEA. I hate talking to people and telling them who I really am.
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