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    Mother who is in love/obsessed with her son
    Anon_232481 posted:
    Hi there,

    I am currently involved in a relationship where I believe that the mother of the person I am with is in love or completely obsessed with her son.

    Has anyone heard of this disorder?
    ddnos responded:
    You're calling that a disorder?
    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
    melly2210 responded:
    I wouldn't say it's a disorder, but it can definately be a problem. I used to refer to this as the "uncut umbilical cord." It cost my ex-husband his wife. If you can't handle the level of involvement dating, from experience I say this with all the love I can muster, it isn't gonna get any better. Cut your losses and run if you can't handle it now. Sorry.
    Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
    jamireles1 responded:
    It is a disorder. Umbilical addiction is what it seems. I've seem to experience that quite a bit with my wife and relize that it is something I have no control over. My wife will hold him above our children, since he is from a previous marriage. Good luck. jm
    jamireles1 responded:
    I really didn't get a chance to finish my reply last night. I can tell you that although you feel this way, my therapist says that it could be a condition or it could be a simple misjudgement on your behalf. Mothers have a special bond from conception to protect and do all and everything for their children. I had a very rocky childhood with my mother and things that my wife does with my son seem out of place. But she is creating that relationship. I don't know your relationships status, (married, dating) but it comes with the package.
    Im sorry that you're going through this but hang in there if you love her. My wife is a beautiful wonderful person, and though our son and I had issue, as he gets more mature and as I continue to get my help I find us interacting more. I love them both with all my heart and dont want to put them in limbo, our other kids included. My wife is great with my daughter from a previous marriage and I see that and it warms my heart. I try to do the same, but it is a struggle for me as well. Being Bipolar you think the worse at the worse time and it stays with you, throughout the day. So when I say I love you to her and get no reply, that tells me something.
    Train yourself not to feel as though shes ignoring you. Try to incorporated yourself into activities and form a bond with him. Hopefully this helps. I'm so deeply in love with my wife, I would try anything to keep us close and happy together. I guess it lies in your hands now. Good Luck, JM
    Dyanne48jj replied to jamireles1's response:
    Many times any parent, male or female, has THAT certain bond with their first born thru out their entire life, thats just the way it is.
    I was a papa's girl and my bro was a mama's boy all of our lives. but it was a natural and healthy relationship for all concerned.

    The flags go up though if a parent, regardless of sex, has a 'strange or weird' obsession with one's child or treats their own child to a pedastal that isnt offered to the other children.
    I actually have a neighbour who is experiencing that now. Oh he took care of his wive's son, food, clothes, shelter BUT he treated the child the two of them had very differently. since teen years and now a grown man, the woman's child has severe anger issues. They have all been to therapy and the boy's stem of anger comes from how he felt like an outcast the entire time he was growing up. The man never did this deliberately, it wasnt his intentions, but his preference for the 'together' child was obvious and daunting for the 1st child of the wife.
    I KNOW I am crazy....THAT is what keeps me from going INSANE!!! Oceans and Stars- Dyanne
    hakunamatat responded:

    I dont no if this is a disorder but i know of someone who is going though this and its not an easy situation to handle. I know for a fact its not normal. This person has even left hes partner as it was getting out of control. The only thing i can say is she's not well in the head by the looks of thiings especially in this specific situation not in all cases can i say this is the dygnosis and the best thing this person can do is move on and things will work out for him and he's son as shes very possesive of the child and claims that her son is her ex lover from a past life as told by a so called medium/ tarrot reader. To be honest i dont like to Knock these things down im no beliver til i see proof with my own eyes but at the end of the day if it were to be true .. even sooo ... the past is in the past!!!!!!

    well i wish who ever in this situation the very best takecare
    missanonymous1 responded:
    I am in the same situation... ever since my boyfriends mother found out I was dating her son she did not like me any more, she calmed she didnt like me because I don't talk to her, mind you I have a shy personality so of course i'm not going to be outspoken. my boyfriend and I had a daughter together. I found out that when my boyfriend was 17/18 he would get drunk and pass out in parks and she would change his underwear for him too. when I was pregnant she showed up at my place took me to mc donalds and told me not to tell her son. She began to tell me that if i found a better looker rich guy I would leave him. she also told me that I should get an abortion and gave me an address to an abortion clinic because our lives are doomed ( we were 20 at the time). long story short she tried to strangle me because I didnt like that she had my 3 month old sleep on her belly through the night. its been 5 years now, im 25 and her son is 26, she has a 13 year old son and a 9 year old daughter with another man. my boyfriend looks just like his father (her first lover) that she is still talking to who lives in another country and still loves him even though he left her. My boyfriends mother always says rude things to be, gave me a Christmas present last year that said to son and "partner" meaning me... she has also insulted the way I turned out as an adult because I went to a public school. She is upset because quote " I CANT BELIEVE YOUR CHOOSING HER OVER ME, we been through so much together and struggled" she says that he can get any woman he wants put will have one mother. she is also upset with his choice to be a father, stay with me and our daughter instead of being with her. she would also call everyday and make excuses for him to go to her house. she would say come help me fix a bike, or come help me put up curtains, or come help me mount the tv. mind you this woman has a husband. she has her younger kids calling to say how mom misses him and that he needs to come over asap, but not once did I hear I miss my grand daughter.. oh and my daughter looks like me. she has also told my boyfriend that his half brother has sickle-cell so he would come over. and that boy is healthy. I just dont get it. every one thinks that she has this sick attraction to her son. There is tons more but to much to type. what do you guys think?
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to missanonymous1's response:
    Hi Missanonymous1,

    I encourage you to start a new discussion about this on our Relationships and Coping Community (follow this link).

    To do that, hold your cursor over the orange Post Now button and choose 'Discussion' from the drop down menu which appears. Fill in the subject line and body of the message (you can ignore the poll part if you want) and Submit.
    Kooks1110 replied to missanonymous1's response:
    Omg.....I am pregnant and in the same exact situation. I actually have thought many times if leaving my bf because of it I can't take it anymore. She lies says one thing to me and another to him. Claims to be sick when she's not. Makes up things for him to do, and to make it worse we live right upstairs from her. I don't even know what to do anymore and this isn't even half of the things she pulls.
    lotus replied to Kooks1110's response:
    Dear Kooks1110 I am the mother of the son who got the girl pregnant. I didn't know A well. I wasn't thrilled with it all. I didn't get involved in their decision of what to do. I did insist on a paternary test. There were some rough spots. I have been extremely blessed. A has kept me in my grand daughter life. A is wonderful. I am telling you this because it is a big adjustment at the beginning for everyone. I hope it will change for you. The one thing you must do is move further away from her. Post if you need to vent or get positive kudos. How are you feeling with the pregnancy. I wish you the best.
    Lefty2121 replied to missanonymous1's response:
    This woman is So MENTAL!! She needs to be admitted or be put on some heavy medication! That is going over board with the demands she has on her son. I hope things get better for you both. Have you considered moving away and put some distance from that FREAK?
    Jakirweb21 responded:
    A HEART TOUCHING STORY:[br>One day, a mother asked to her son: If I become blind some day, what will you do?[br>[br>Son: I'll take you to the best eye specialist of the world, but mamma you tell me, if the same case happens with me, what will you do?

    Mother: I'll donate my eyes to you beta, because it is better to be blind then to see you in such condition.
    An_248577 responded:
    I am in a similar situation with a woman I've known for a good number of years. She had her son with her long time boyfriend and after the son was born they went their separate ways, though the son does spend time every week with his father. As far as this woman is concerned, the sun rises and sets with the boy. Her whole life is now this kid and I don't think that will ever change until the day she dies. This obsession has certainly had an effect on the boy as well as you can imagine. I think the non-medical term is "mama's boy", which unfortunatley there is no cure. The kid cries over the slightest little irritation and runs to his mothers arms...and he now is12 years old! Of cousre she picks him up as if he was still a toddler and just soaks up the attention this boy gives towards her as if this was all normal.
    Not being trained in the medical arts I can't say why she has devoted every waking moment of her life to her son, but if I had to venture a guess it has to do with over compensation due to the fact her father never paid much attention to her during her childhood. This I know is true as she has mentioned this fact on numerous occasions to me.
    If I had any advice for you it would be just accept that this will be the way it is with this woman and decide if you can deal with it or not as she will always be this way with her son and no matter what you ever say or do you'll never get between them no matter how hard you try.
    So as you can see, you are not the only person who has expierenced this situation and as I said it's totally up to you as far as you want to deal with the situation on a daily basis and accept you will ALWAYS be number two in this womans life.
    Good luck!

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