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Memory Erased For Good Bipolar Still There
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booger8141 posted:
I whent to a facility because not only do i suffer from bi-polar i also am diagnosed with major deppresive disorder, social phobia disorder, severe anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder and schizophrenia. I was at a bad point in my life so i checked my self into ths hospital to get help to so that i wasn't so deppressed and on the road of wanting to commit suicide because i felt i didn't have anything left to live for. (i was throwing a pitty party)While i was there they suggested ECT made it sound so good it was going to make my deppresion go away it was going to make the pain from my fibromyalgia go away and my life would be great. I did 17 treatments in a 4 week time frame on my last treatment i woke up and had know idea where i was they said my husband was there to take me home. I didn't even know that i had a husband but i wanted to get out of there so i fought to leave. During that day i remembered i had 10 children but didn't remember any of thier spouses or thier children i remembered my sister but none of her family. I have lost all ability to drive, cook, wash clothes, and remember none of my last 42 years of my life. The kicker is I still suffer from all of my main diagnosis i falter between manic and depressive every couple of days and my meds still aren't right. I guess my question is how do i deal with this with out having it effect my moods and having it drive me deeper into deppression.
3 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Memory Erased For Good Bipolar Still ThereI whent to a facility because not only do i suffer from bi-polar i also am diagnosed with major deppresive disorder, social phobia disorder, severe anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder and schizophrenia. I was at a bad point in my life so i checked my self into ths hospital to get help to so that i wasn't so deppressed and on the road of wanting to commit suicide because i felt i didn't have anything left to live for. (i was throwing a pitty party)While i was there they suggested ECT made it sound so good it was going to make my deppresion go away it was going to make the pain from my fibromyalgia go away and my life would be great. I did 17 treatments in a 4 week time frame on my last treatment i woke up and had know idea where i was they said my husband was there to take me home. I didn't even know that i had a husband but i wanted to get out of there so i fought to leave. During that day i remembered i had 10 children but didn't remember any of thier spouses or thier children i remembered my sister but none of her family. I have lost all ability to drive, cook, wash clothes, and remember none of my last 42 years of my life. The kicker is I still suffer from all of my main diagnosis i falter between manic and depressive every couple of days and my meds still aren't right. I guess my question is how do i deal with this with out having it effect my moods and having it drive me deeper into deppression.
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Anneinside responded:
I am so sorry this happened to you. 17 treatments in 4 weeks seems a bit much - here they do 3 a week so 4 weeks would be 12 treatments.

One possible positive is that often your memory will come back in time. I have been very lucky. I had an initial series of 9 treatments followed by maintenance. Now I have ECT every 3 to 4 weeks. I have minimal to no memory loss. I have found that when reminded of something the memories came back. However, I don't remember a lot of what happened when I was severely depressed -- I reread my journal for that period of time and recognized very little of the contents.

Best wishes
Report This| Share this:Memory Erased For Good Bipolar Still ThereI am so sorry this happened to you. 17 treatments in 4 weeks seems a bit much - here they do 3 a week so 4 weeks would be 12 treatments.<br /><br />One possible positive is that often your memory will come back in time. I have been very lucky. I had an initial series of 9 treatments followed by maintenance. Now I have ECT every 3 to 4 weeks. I have minimal to no memory loss. I have found that when reminded of something the memories came back. However, I don't remember a lot of what happened when I was severely depressed -- I reread my journal for that period of time and recognized very little of the contents.<br /><br />Best wishes
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booger8141 replied to Anneinside's response:
I am glad that you had a pleasant expierence and that it helped you. I have read my journals from that time. Ihave gone through my pictures of my life prior to the hospitalization and there is nothing no memory it is like everything disapeared. I do however have a very loving family and my 9 children are great they joke about it now (what else can you do) they try to tell me i let them do things i definately did not ha,ha. I obviously just have to live without my memory and enjoy every day that have with my husband and my kids and grandkids and make new memories and if i am blessed maybe someday something will come back but at this point I am not ggoing to dwell on something that i can not change that is surely a sad point in my life.......
Report This| Share this:Memory Erased For Good Bipolar Still ThereI am glad that you had a pleasant expierence and that it helped you. I have read my journals from that time. Ihave gone through my pictures of my life prior to the hospitalization and there is nothing no memory it is like everything disapeared. I do however have a very loving family and my 9 children are great they joke about it now (what else can you do) they try to tell me i let them do things i definately did not ha,ha. I obviously just have to live without my memory and enjoy every day that have with my husband and my kids and grandkids and make new memories and if i am blessed maybe someday something will come back but at this point I am not ggoing to dwell on something that i can not change that is surely a sad point in my life.......
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Yitzzy responded:
My husband had memory loss from his ECT, and he had trouble remembering things short term for about 2 months after the treatment. He did eventually recover and felt better for having the treatment. I hope your memory comes back promptly. Good luck with the meds. My husband's meds still aren't working well he has been trying to find the right combo for 3 long years. Hopefully, you won't have to go through that and your meds will work for you.
Report This| Share this:Memory Erased For Good Bipolar Still ThereMy husband had memory loss from his ECT, and he had trouble remembering things short term for about 2 months after the treatment. He did eventually recover and felt better for having the treatment. I hope your memory comes back promptly. Good luck with the meds. My husband's meds still aren't working well he has been trying to find the right combo for 3 long years. Hopefully, you won't have to go through that and your meds will work for you.
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