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Changes and Stress - just venting - OT Poss Triggers
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mercygive posted:
I slept good last night when I finally fell asleep at 4am - that's with Seroquel at 200 mg

Mood: Okay so far

Our house is very quiet; dh work hours were cut 30/hrwk and we may lose our health insurance; my boss told me last week that he has been making payroll out-of-pocket and my employer doesn't offer insurance; not that it matters at this point; I will stop going to new pdoc.

My women's bible study group will end this Tuesday for the year; my grandfather is in the nursing home from a fall; my mother is staying at his farm house which is infested with mice and cockroaches of which I refuse to sleep there; my mother won't have it exterminated because her nerves can't handle it; Im feeling guilty because she is alone and I won't stay with her because my nerves can't handle mice crawling on me when I sleep.

My brother who lives at my mom's house hasn't come out of his room in 4 years. He started a 2 yr online degree 4 years ago; he weighs close to 300 lbs; he is severly depressed and refuses to get help at the county hospital of which he would receive services at no cost. Debbie my friend here has emailed me an informational link so we (I,mom,dad) can gear up to approach my brother about getting him on SSI sometime this year. I'm trying to plan this with my dad to cover the attorney costs and we will wait to approach my brother once my grandfather gets out the nursing home. Any ideas on how to approach my brother so that he doesn't think the family is against him (because something happened with the schooling that he won't admit to)? He's 49. He's worked a total of 5-8 years his entire life so his SSI won't be much but it will help my mom financially and help him if something happens to my mom.

Oh yes, I forgot that I did find a weekly local NAMI group in the evening that may have ideas for my brother and me. I would love to take my brother to this meeting, and I will ask him, but I doubt he will want to go with me. Also, I downloaded a CBT workbook onto my Kindle in hopes that I can therapy myself but will vent some of it here. Sorry for that but I don't know where else to go.

I haven't been motivated enough to get back into daily workout routine and with all this stress all I can think about is sex, sex, sex. I hope this is positive coping although I do feel guilt, I should be reading my bible to get through the agitation, but since I don't have anything pleasureable to look forward to I can see why my mind is on the flesh.

I could surely use all 4000 charactera today, but I won't bore you any longer.

Thanks for listening - Mercy
I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship.
Louisa May Alcott
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DoOvers responded:
Mercy,

Give yourself a little permission to have fun and don't feel guilty about it (not saying go out and sleep with random people). The only suggestion I have, because it sounds like you are doing everything right is call a warm-line if you want to work out problems with more in depth analysis. Sometimes that helps people. Few people function wholly without breaks. If the warm-line isn't your thing and you don't want to open up to NAMI immediately jot these things down (sometimes it helps motivate when the easier is at the top) and cross off as you brainstorm or complete.

P.S. Use all the characters you want! You bring alot to this board, for many.
A.C.T.
 
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ddnos responded:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mercy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} You surely have your plate full right now, and I wish there were something concrete I could do to help.

Re your mom and where she is living - you said that she won't have the exterminator come in because her nerves can't handle it. Do you mean that her nerves couldn't handle the exterminator being there at the house? Does she (or whoever would be responsible for it) have the money to have an exterminator come in? If so, would it be possible for you to make the appointment for her (or someone else) and then the day they come over, someone could take her out of the house for the day so she woudln't have to deal with it. Is that something feasable, or not the issue re why she won't have it done? But I'm with you, there's no way on earth I would be going there either wtih mice and roaches running around! Gives me the heebie jeebies just htinking about it! I would think your mom would want them out of there too! How long will she be staying at your grandfathers farm? Why does she have to stay there? I mean, I know he's in a nursing home from a fall, but does there NEED to be someone staying there while he's gone? At any rate, you are doing nothing wrong by not staying there with her (IMO) - and like I said above, you or someone else can arrange to have the place exterminated and then if you choose, you could stay with her after the pesky pests are taken care of.

Re your brother, you said that you and your dad were trying to make plans to pay for attourny costs, etc. I would call that organization first and talk with them about that because one of their ummm, can't think of the word right now, but one they have helped thousands of people get disability benefits because they know what works - they know how to speed up the process and they would know if an attourney is reccommended or not in your brothers situation. They will actually help you (for free) as much as you need help and advice throughout the entire process.

The name of the person who founded the organization is Brian Therrien and I can email you his contact information. He is obviously quite busy, but if you ask to speak with him, and you throw in a few exaggerated (but truthful lol) words of desperation to speak directly with him (either over the phone or via email) they may be able to accommodate you. I'm not saying anyone else you'd correspond with wouldn't be as knowledgeable as him on the topic, but it's possible. So if not him, I'd ask for someone of his caliber of knowledge.

I'm sorry about how your husbands hours got cut and he may lose health insurance. I hope that his employer can find a way so that doesn't have to happen.

I'm sorry also that you will have to stop seeing your new pdoc. You were seeing a new pdoc or tdoc? I coudl have sworn you were seeing a new therapist and not a pdoc, but obviously I was wrong. Either way, I'm sorry that you have to cancel that. Have you asked him/her if he/she could take a sliding scale fee (if you could afford that)? I know some places/doctors/therapists, will do that. Maybe you could just ask to find out if it coudl be done, and if so, what the cost would be. Maybe you'd be able to afford whatever it would turn out to be, huh? It's worth asking anyway.

Oh, as an afterthought re your brother. You asked for any ideas of how to approach your brother. Hmm, I see i only have 600 charachers left - not enough for this thought. lol So I will either reply again or email you.

Hang in there and email any time

Debbie
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
 
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mercygive replied to DoOvers's response:

Hey A.C.T. Thanks for the thumbs up. I needed a pat on the back for trying to put it all together.

I have never heard of 'Warm-line.' I'm glad I googled it because I might have mistaken it for something else! LOL Thanks for that! I will, definitely, consider this resource for myself and my family.

Mercy
I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship.
Louisa May Alcott
 
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DoOvers replied to mercygive's response:
Happy you googled it. Would have been horrible to let that mind of yours run wild. Should mention that it it can be normal if to get a message machine, especially if you call during a non-business hour, because these aren't considered crisis hotlines so do leave a message. They typically will get back to you in twenty-four hours and as the name implies generally of course will do an adequate job at making you feel comfortable and welcome. At the very least, they can help direct you towards resources you may not have been privy to. It can also be a good medium for someone who is reluctant to completely open up to strangers in a new group or needs to talk, but not direly urgent.

P.S. Even at the crisis hotline the majority of the calls we received and therefore trained for were not for persons who were suicidal. That actually happened rarely although it was a suicide-hotline those are also perfectly fine to call. If I had some money to put on it, I'd guess that is at least part of why they are called crisis or hot-lines now. The larger ones will be able to accomodate better. They want people to call before things turn into a potentially life threatening situation.
A.C.T.


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