Announcements
Are you on Antidepressants and Frustrated that you can't Lose Weight?
Visit our Crisis Assistance Link for resources. For immediate help, get to the ER.
If you think you may have a Borderline Personality Disorder, please read this link shared here. Also, Topic Overview.
*No Dr Outside Contact Please*
Visit our Crisis Assistance Link for resources. For immediate help, get to the ER.
If you think you may have a Borderline Personality Disorder, please read this link shared here. Also, Topic Overview.
*No Dr Outside Contact Please*
It has been a very long time since I have been here.....
tigermom48 posted:
I am starting to become depressed as on the 22nd of tis month would have been my 41st wedding anniversary. My late husband committed suicide 17 years on August 30th, 1995. My depression is controlled by meds and seeing a therapist. I haven't seen the therapist in a long time.
This past December I was operated on to implant a new Morphine Pump bc of the pain in my lower back. I am still not released from the neurosurgeon as there has been fluid at the pump site. It has been 6 months and still recovering from this. After I was released from the hospital, I became very sick so much so that my adult children needed to come home to take care of me. Now the pump is tipped I have told the pain doctor and neurosurgeon that if I need another operation it will be to take it out completely.
I am so sorry that I haven't been here in a long time.
Mary
This past December I was operated on to implant a new Morphine Pump bc of the pain in my lower back. I am still not released from the neurosurgeon as there has been fluid at the pump site. It has been 6 months and still recovering from this. After I was released from the hospital, I became very sick so much so that my adult children needed to come home to take care of me. Now the pump is tipped I have told the pain doctor and neurosurgeon that if I need another operation it will be to take it out completely.
I am so sorry that I haven't been here in a long time.
Mary
6 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:It has been a very long time since I have been here.....<i>I am starting to become depressed as on the 22nd of tis month would have been my 41st wedding anniversary. My late husband committed suicide 17 years on August 30th, 1995. My depression is controlled by meds and seeing a therapist. I haven't seen the therapist in a long time.</i><br /><i>This past December I was operated on to implant a new Morphine Pump bc of the pain in my lower back. I am still not released from the neurosurgeon as there has been fluid at the pump site. It has been 6 months and still recovering from this. After I was released from the hospital, I became very sick so much so that my adult children needed to come home to take care of me. Now the pump is tipped I have told the pain doctor and neurosurgeon that if I need another operation it will be to take it out completely. </i><br /><i>I am so sorry that I haven't been here in a long time. </i><br /><i>Mary</i>
ddnos responded:
{{{{{{{{{Tigermom48}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry for your loss and the depression that is coming up for you from remembering. Maybe it would be a good time for you to see your therapist for a "tune up" eh?
I also hope that things improve for you re your physical health problems - I'm sorry you suffer such pain!
Hang in there
Debbie
I also hope that things improve for you re your physical health problems - I'm sorry you suffer such pain!
Hang in there
Debbie
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
Report This| Share this:It has been a very long time since I have been here.....{{{{{{{{{Tigermom48}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry for your loss and the depression that is coming up for you from remembering. Maybe it would be a good time for you to see your therapist for a "tune up" eh? <br /> <br />I also hope that things improve for you re your physical health problems - I'm sorry you suffer such pain!<br /> <br />Hang in there<br />Debbie
tigermom48 replied to ddnos's response:
Thank you, Debbie,
Every year I go thru this and it seems as if I can't "prepare" for the depression that is coming. My "shrink" said ,the last time I saw him, that he can't believe that I still suffer from PTSD aout the events that led to my lates' suicide. I can tell you everything that happened leading up to the suicide and what followed. I keep going thru the what ifs, maybe I should have/shouldn't have, was there a way that I could have stopped him, why I missed the signs etc. I saved him twice before but the 3rd, I could not.
I relive what his parents said before and after the funeral. His sister blamed me and my 3 children bc we didn't love him enough, not good to him etc. His sister came here a few months ago; my daughter came in to get my grandson. Next thing she is in my doorway, shaking me. I remained calm and told her she had 5 minutes to leave the property or I was calling the police. She made a comment to the kids that I guess she is still mad at me.......duh!!!
Sorry that this is soooo long but I needed to vent even though I will relive it over and over.
Mary
Every year I go thru this and it seems as if I can't "prepare" for the depression that is coming. My "shrink" said ,the last time I saw him, that he can't believe that I still suffer from PTSD aout the events that led to my lates' suicide. I can tell you everything that happened leading up to the suicide and what followed. I keep going thru the what ifs, maybe I should have/shouldn't have, was there a way that I could have stopped him, why I missed the signs etc. I saved him twice before but the 3rd, I could not.
I relive what his parents said before and after the funeral. His sister blamed me and my 3 children bc we didn't love him enough, not good to him etc. His sister came here a few months ago; my daughter came in to get my grandson. Next thing she is in my doorway, shaking me. I remained calm and told her she had 5 minutes to leave the property or I was calling the police. She made a comment to the kids that I guess she is still mad at me.......duh!!!
Sorry that this is soooo long but I needed to vent even though I will relive it over and over.
Mary
Report This| Share this:It has been a very long time since I have been here.....<i>Thank you, Debbie,</i><br /><i>Every year I go thru this and it seems as if I can't "prepare" for the depression that is coming. My "shrink" said ,the last time I saw him, that he can't believe that I still suffer from PTSD aout the events that led to my lates' suicide. I can tell you everything that happened leading up to the suicide and what followed. I keep going thru the what ifs, maybe I should have/shouldn't have, was there a way that I could have stopped him, why I missed the signs etc. I saved him twice before but the 3rd, I could not.</i><br /><i>I relive what his parents said before and after the funeral. His sister blamed me and my 3 children bc we didn't love him enough, not good to him etc. His sister came here a few months ago; my daughter came in to get my grandson. Next thing she is in my doorway, shaking me. I remained calm and told her she had 5 minutes to leave the property or I was calling the police. She made a comment to the kids that I guess she is still mad at me.......duh!!!</i><br /><i>Sorry that this is soooo long but I needed to vent even though I will relive it over and over.</i><br /><i>Mary</i>
lexismom11 replied to tigermom48's response:
First of all, it was not your fault in any way. You did the best you could and managed to save him twice. You can't beat yourself up about it. I can understand that they experienced a loss as well, but looking for someone to blame for what happended is not going to make their pain go away. I'm sure you loved him with all of your heart. How were you supposed to know what he planned to do unless he told you. That's usually the way it goes. People don't come out and tell others what their suicide plan is unless they are looking for help. I don't know if he was showing signs of suicide the last time and if he wasn't, how would you have known? I hope you find peace knowing you did what you could to help him.
Report This| Share this:It has been a very long time since I have been here.....First of all, it was not your fault in any way. You did the best you could and managed to save him twice. You can't beat yourself up about it. I can understand that they experienced a loss as well, but looking for someone to blame for what happended is not going to make their pain go away. I'm sure you loved him with all of your heart. How were you supposed to know what he planned to do unless he told you. That's usually the way it goes. People don't come out and tell others what their suicide plan is unless they are looking for help. I don't know if he was showing signs of suicide the last time and if he wasn't, how would you have known? I hope you find peace knowing you did what you could to help him.
CanadianDyanne responded:
Hugz hon
Its hard when we have lost loved ones these special dates come around, especially so when suicide is involved. my heart hurts for you.
Nothing will stop the hurt but why not celebrate the your anniversary in a special way?
It can be something simple, put flowers on the table and cook his fav meal and then enjoy it and go down memory lane 'with him' during the GOOD TIMES. It is your anniversary after all. Look at your pics which I know can make it even worse! but try to just focus on what was happening at the time. The talk, the laugh, the smiles etc.
If one or all of your children are close by, have dinner together on that day. buy his fav cake for desert.
If youre physically able, do something you ususally wouldnt do for yourself on that day. Hair cut, manicure, or my personal fav a body massage
Know one thing though as the others have said, there is absolutely nothing different you could have done 8/30/95, nothing. BUT there is something different & good you can do on the 22nd!
hugzzzzz
Its hard when we have lost loved ones these special dates come around, especially so when suicide is involved. my heart hurts for you.
Nothing will stop the hurt but why not celebrate the your anniversary in a special way?
It can be something simple, put flowers on the table and cook his fav meal and then enjoy it and go down memory lane 'with him' during the GOOD TIMES. It is your anniversary after all. Look at your pics which I know can make it even worse! but try to just focus on what was happening at the time. The talk, the laugh, the smiles etc.
If one or all of your children are close by, have dinner together on that day. buy his fav cake for desert.
If youre physically able, do something you ususally wouldnt do for yourself on that day. Hair cut, manicure, or my personal fav a body massage
Know one thing though as the others have said, there is absolutely nothing different you could have done 8/30/95, nothing. BUT there is something different & good you can do on the 22nd!
hugzzzzz
Report This| Share this:It has been a very long time since I have been here.....<b>Hugz hon</b><br /><b></b> <br /><b>Its hard when we have lost loved ones these special dates come around, especially so when suicide is involved. my heart hurts for you. </b><br /><b></b> <br /><b>Nothing will stop the hurt but why not celebrate the your anniversary in a special way? </b><br /><b>It can be something simple, put flowers on the table and cook his fav meal and then enjoy it and go down memory lane 'with him' during the GOOD TIMES. It is your anniversary after all. Look at your pics which I know can make it even worse! but try to just focus on what was happening at the time. The talk, the laugh, the smiles etc. </b><br /><b></b> <br /><b>If one or all of your children are close by, have dinner together on that day. buy his fav cake for desert. </b><br /><b></b> <br /><b>If youre physically able, do something you ususally wouldnt do for yourself on that day. Hair cut, manicure, or my personal fav a body massage <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/wink.gif" align="top" border="0"></b><br /><b></b> <br /><b>Know one thing though as the others have said, there is absolutely nothing different you could have done 8/30/95, nothing. BUT there is something different & good you can do on the 22nd!</b><br /><b>hugzzzzz</b>
tigermom48 replied to lexismom11's response:
Hi Lexismom,
I started dating him when I was 16. He was a friend of my older brother so my family knew him well. He was in therapy and seeing a "shrink" at the time. I tried telling these people that something was wrong. I had told this therapist that he didn't do the reading, taking the pills as he should have etc. This was the last 5 minutes of the sessions I was told that I was no longer "allowed" to go to the sessions with him as when I talked my late didn't. I found out that my late went to see him the week before his suicide and told him that he found a way to deal with things. I was seeing a different therapist and told her that his should have known something was wrong. The answer I got was that he thought that my late husband was getting better. They say not to blame anyone but I felt that this therapist should have said something to me. My family met with his "shrink" who told us that my late loved us all.That most of his depression was caused by the way he was raised and had nothing to do with us, our love. Of course I never said anything to his family. The "shrink" said that he was willing to meet with his family but I told him no. Maybe I should have let them but felt that it really wasn't there business and that they had a way of turning things around. I didn't need any more hurt or guilt.
Hugs,
Mary
I started dating him when I was 16. He was a friend of my older brother so my family knew him well. He was in therapy and seeing a "shrink" at the time. I tried telling these people that something was wrong. I had told this therapist that he didn't do the reading, taking the pills as he should have etc. This was the last 5 minutes of the sessions I was told that I was no longer "allowed" to go to the sessions with him as when I talked my late didn't. I found out that my late went to see him the week before his suicide and told him that he found a way to deal with things. I was seeing a different therapist and told her that his should have known something was wrong. The answer I got was that he thought that my late husband was getting better. They say not to blame anyone but I felt that this therapist should have said something to me. My family met with his "shrink" who told us that my late loved us all.That most of his depression was caused by the way he was raised and had nothing to do with us, our love. Of course I never said anything to his family. The "shrink" said that he was willing to meet with his family but I told him no. Maybe I should have let them but felt that it really wasn't there business and that they had a way of turning things around. I didn't need any more hurt or guilt.
Hugs,
Mary
Report This| Share this:It has been a very long time since I have been here.....Hi Lexismom,<br />I started dating him when I was 16. He was a friend of my older brother so my family knew him well. He was in therapy and seeing a "shrink" at the time. I tried telling these people that something was wrong. I had told this therapist that he didn't do the reading, taking the pills as he should have etc. This was the last 5 minutes of the sessions I was told that I was no longer "allowed" to go to the sessions with him as when I talked my late didn't. I found out that my late went to see him the week before his suicide and told him that he found a way to deal with things. I was seeing a different therapist and told her that his should have known something was wrong. The answer I got was that he thought that my late husband was getting better. They say not to blame anyone but I felt that this therapist should have said something to me. My family met with his "shrink" who told us that my late loved us all.That most of his depression was caused by the way he was raised and had nothing to do with us, our love. Of course I never said anything to his family. The "shrink" said that he was willing to meet with his family but I told him no. Maybe I should have let them but felt that it really wasn't there business and that they had a way of turning things around. I didn't need any more hurt or guilt.<br />Hugs,<br />Mary
tigermom48 replied to CanadianDyanne's response:
Thank you Dyanne,
Two of my children live out of town and the other is visiting her fiancee' in a different state. I will be alone with my 2 dogs.
I am going to try to keep busy but my daughter is using my car so I won't be going anywhere.
Hopefully the weather will be good and I can spend some time outside. I can only hope that it won't be so bad but I am fooling myself. Each year is hard. For some reason it never seems to lessen. I will let you know how the day goes but don't expect too much.
Thank you for replying. I really appreciate hearing from everyone here.
Hugs,
Mary
Two of my children live out of town and the other is visiting her fiancee' in a different state. I will be alone with my 2 dogs.
I am going to try to keep busy but my daughter is using my car so I won't be going anywhere.
Hopefully the weather will be good and I can spend some time outside. I can only hope that it won't be so bad but I am fooling myself. Each year is hard. For some reason it never seems to lessen. I will let you know how the day goes but don't expect too much.
Thank you for replying. I really appreciate hearing from everyone here.
Hugs,
Mary
Report This| Share this:It has been a very long time since I have been here.....<i>Thank you Dyanne,</i><br /><i>Two of my children live out of town and the other is visiting her fiancee' in a different state. I will be alone with my 2 dogs. <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0"></i><br /><i>I am going to try to keep busy but my daughter is using my car so I won't be going anywhere.</i><br /><i>Hopefully the weather will be good and I can spend some time outside. I can only hope that it won't be so bad but I am fooling myself. Each year is hard. For some reason it never seems to lessen. I will let you know how the day goes but don't expect too much. <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/frown.gif" align="top" border="0"></i><br /><i>Thank you for replying. I really appreciate hearing from everyone here.</i><br /><i>Hugs,</i><br /><i>Mary</i>
Featuring Experts
There are no Expert stories for this community right nowHelpful Tips
NSAIDS and lithium
Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (eg, Motrin/ibuprofen, Advil, Naprosyn) raise lithium levels by about 20%. We often therefore say ... More
Was this Helpful?
64
of
87 found this helpful
-
Differentiating bipolar disorder from borderline personality disorder
- Screen out people who can't seem to "get it"....
- moodtracker.com
Helpful Resources
Related News
Related Drug Reviews
- Drug Name User Reviews
Report Problems to the
Food and Drug Administration
You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.
Other Bipolar Disorder Information
- Bipolar Disorder Health Center
- Slideshow: Bipolar Disorder Overview
- Families of Depressed & Bipolar Kids Tips and Support from Members Like You!
-
More Related Communities
The opinions expressed in WebMD User-generated content areas like communities, reviews, ratings, or blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. User-generated content areas are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service, or treatment.
Do not consider WebMD User-generated content as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.
Health Solutions From Our Sponsors
About WebMD Advertise With Us Terms of Use Privacy Policy Sponsor Policy Site Map Careers Contact Us
First Aid WebMD Magazine WebMD Health Record WebMD Mobile Newsletters Dictionary Physician Directory
©2005-2013 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information.