Announcements
Are you on Antidepressants and Frustrated that you can't Lose Weight?
Visit our Crisis Assistance Link for resources. For immediate help, get to the ER.
If you think you may have a Borderline Personality Disorder, please read this link shared here. Also, Topic Overview.
*No Dr Outside Contact Please*
Visit our Crisis Assistance Link for resources. For immediate help, get to the ER.
If you think you may have a Borderline Personality Disorder, please read this link shared here. Also, Topic Overview.
*No Dr Outside Contact Please*
The Failure who Failed
TazBoy posted:
I recently started seeing a new psychiatric social worker, nurse practitioner after my previous mental health provider, of 5 years, transfered to a new county which wouldn't accept me as a patient. The new social worker in our session explained to me, that my problems (I am a diagnosed Type II Bipolar with Anxiety Disorder) told me that all my "failures" and everything I had "failed", ie I left college after two years, I am in-between jobs and having difficulty locating a new one, explaining that all these failures or when i failed ( The use of Failure and Failed verbatim) were of the making of my failures and other endeavors I failed. My question in short, is, should a mental health professional spend 45 minutes talking at a patient about their failures and where they failed, is it a temperament analysis or something related, is it legitimate? Also is it normal for a doctor to immediately analyze and tell me to start tapering of the medication regiment my previous doctor (of 5 years) set up?
Any advice would be of great value, Thanks
Any advice would be of great value, Thanks
6 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:The Failure who FailedI recently started seeing a new psychiatric social worker, nurse practitioner after my previous mental health provider, of 5 years, transfered to a new county which wouldn't accept me as a patient. The new social worker in our session explained to me, that my problems (I am a diagnosed Type II Bipolar with Anxiety Disorder) told me that all my "failures" and everything I had "failed", ie I left college after two years, I am in-between jobs and having difficulty locating a new one, explaining that all these failures or when i failed ( The use of Failure and Failed verbatim) were of the making of my failures and other endeavors I failed. My question in short, is, should a mental health professional spend 45 minutes talking at a patient about their failures and where they failed, is it a temperament analysis or something related, is it legitimate? Also is it normal for a doctor to immediately analyze and tell me to start tapering of the medication regiment my previous doctor (of 5 years) set up?<br /><br />Any advice would be of great value, Thanks
An_243880 responded:
There's a fine line between between being told the hard truth about one's own self-defeating behavior in order to help someone make better choices and just blaming someone for their problems. Since you haven't known this provider very long I would be offended at her presumption that your "failures" were the result of bad decisions on your part and not a symptom of something else. Tough love is appropriate in a clinical relationship but there first has to be a relationship. If my psychologist or psychiatrist pointed out to me that I had been self-defeating and could rectify the choice by making better ones I would take that advice seriously. I have a long and supportive history with them. I think you might need to be cautious with this therapist and see if the blame game without support continues.
Report This| Share this:The Failure who FailedThere's a fine line between between being told the hard truth about one's own self-defeating behavior in order to help someone make better choices and just blaming someone for their problems. Since you haven't known this provider very long I would be offended at her presumption that your "failures" were the result of bad decisions on your part and not a symptom of something else. Tough love is appropriate in a clinical relationship but there first has to be a relationship. If my psychologist or psychiatrist pointed out to me that I had been self-defeating and could rectify the choice by making better ones I would take that advice seriously. I have a long and supportive history with them. I think you might need to be cautious with this therapist and see if the blame game without support continues.
Sandtiger responded:
My immediate response is to say no, no, no - absolutely NOT.
First off, it sounds like they took an extremely negative approach to the session which is bad to begin with. Inevitably you will run into sessions - even with GOOD docs - where your set-backs are addressed, but that's also accompanied by ways you can work to prevent similar events in the future, and to help find out why the set-backs happened in the first place.
Secondly, if you feel comfortable on the meds you're on, then DON'T let them immediately change them.... I'm of the mind that no doc, on the first appointment, should immediately try to change your meds unless you're in a state of crisis.
Third and most important - if you came away feeling uncomfortable and questioning them right off, it's probably best to seek another physician. I usually give them at least two or three appointments, because first impressions can sometimes be mistaken, but after those extra appointments if my comfort level or thoughts on the doc haven't changed, I search for someone else.
Good luck, and don't let the compounding reminders of your "failures" as they put it, bring you down...
~ San
First off, it sounds like they took an extremely negative approach to the session which is bad to begin with. Inevitably you will run into sessions - even with GOOD docs - where your set-backs are addressed, but that's also accompanied by ways you can work to prevent similar events in the future, and to help find out why the set-backs happened in the first place.
Secondly, if you feel comfortable on the meds you're on, then DON'T let them immediately change them.... I'm of the mind that no doc, on the first appointment, should immediately try to change your meds unless you're in a state of crisis.
Third and most important - if you came away feeling uncomfortable and questioning them right off, it's probably best to seek another physician. I usually give them at least two or three appointments, because first impressions can sometimes be mistaken, but after those extra appointments if my comfort level or thoughts on the doc haven't changed, I search for someone else.
Good luck, and don't let the compounding reminders of your "failures" as they put it, bring you down...
~ San
:: Living is more than just being alive - Anberlin ::
Report This| Share this:The Failure who FailedMy immediate response is to say no, no, no - absolutely NOT. <br /> <br />First off, it sounds like they took an extremely negative approach to the session which is bad to begin with. Inevitably you will run into sessions - even with GOOD docs - where your set-backs are addressed, but that's also accompanied by ways you can work to prevent similar events in the future, and to help find out why the set-backs happened in the first place.<br /> <br />Secondly, if you feel comfortable on the meds you're on, then DON'T let them immediately change them.... I'm of the mind that no doc, on the first appointment, should immediately try to change your meds unless you're in a state of crisis.<br /> <br />Third and most important - if you came away feeling uncomfortable and questioning them right off, it's probably best to seek another physician. I usually give them at least two or three appointments, because first impressions can sometimes be mistaken, but after those extra appointments if my comfort level or thoughts on the doc haven't changed, I search for someone else.<br /> <br />Good luck, and don't let the compounding reminders of your "failures" as they put it, bring you down...<br /> <br />~ San
I am of a mixed opinion. I agree that pointing out you need to make better choices is important - if your choices resulted in the so-called failures. I do disagree with what sounds like a harping response though. All that will do is put your hackles up, make you defensive and you may as well have not have attended the session anyway. It happened to me once with the previous pdoc where he called me fat over and over. Took me weeks to get over that session and it certainly did not help me make any changes to that.
As for the medications, if the current mix of medications you are on are working and keeping you stable, I'd fight tooth and nail against changing them. That being said, I have yet to meet with any new pdoc who hasn't wanted to change what I was on regardless of the effectiveness. Each one thinks he knows better than the previous one. It takes time to find one who works WITH you and not AGAINST you. When I chose the one I have now, I scheduled phone interviews with each of my options and I interviewed them before I chose. Maybe that would work better for you if you decide to select a new provider.
Good luck and don't let the negativity impact your health!!!
Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
As for the medications, if the current mix of medications you are on are working and keeping you stable, I'd fight tooth and nail against changing them. That being said, I have yet to meet with any new pdoc who hasn't wanted to change what I was on regardless of the effectiveness. Each one thinks he knows better than the previous one. It takes time to find one who works WITH you and not AGAINST you. When I chose the one I have now, I scheduled phone interviews with each of my options and I interviewed them before I chose. Maybe that would work better for you if you decide to select a new provider.
Good luck and don't let the negativity impact your health!!!
Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
Report This| Share this:The Failure who FailedI am of a mixed opinion. I agree that pointing out you need to make better choices is important - if your choices resulted in the so-called failures. I do disagree with what sounds like a harping response though. All that will do is put your hackles up, make you defensive and you may as well have not have attended the session anyway. It happened to me once with the previous pdoc where he called me fat over and over. Took me weeks to get over that session and it certainly did not help me make any changes to that.<br /><br />As for the medications, if the current mix of medications you are on are working and keeping you stable, I'd fight tooth and nail against changing them. That being said, I have yet to meet with any new pdoc who hasn't wanted to change what I was on regardless of the effectiveness. Each one thinks he knows better than the previous one. It takes time to find one who works WITH you and not AGAINST you. When I chose the one I have now, I scheduled phone interviews with each of my options and I interviewed them before I chose. Maybe that would work better for you if you decide to select a new provider.<br /><br />Good luck and don't let the negativity impact your health!!!
We need to be accountable for our actions and if we cannot accept that kind of prodding from our clinicians then exactly who do we accept it from. I personally don't like to play victim to my disorder or my bad choices. I don't always like when its being pointed out to me that I'm off course but I respect my clinicians for their honesty and having my well being and best interests at heart. However, as I said, there needs to be a trusting relationship in place first before you reach this level. That is not the case yet in this situation. Treatment isn't always about warm and fuzzy. There's a time for that and a time for the tough stuff.
Report This| Share this:The Failure who FailedWe need to be accountable for our actions and if we cannot accept that kind of prodding from our clinicians then exactly who do we accept it from. I personally don't like to play victim to my disorder or my bad choices. I don't always like when its being pointed out to me that I'm off course but I respect my clinicians for their honesty and having my well being and best interests at heart. However, as I said, there needs to be a trusting relationship in place first before you reach this level. That is not the case yet in this situation. Treatment isn't always about warm and fuzzy. There's a time for that and a time for the tough stuff.
I certainly agree, Anon - I'm a firm believer of having to face our pasts or "faults" in order to grow and thrive. I also agree that to do so in a healthy manner, though, it should be with a physician we've known and developed a repore (sp?) with. Otherwise, it can certainly come across as negative and more harmful than helpful.
A few of my docs - especially my very first pdoc, and my most recent tdoc - were of the kind to do so. But by the time they started addressing them, I'd of course already grown trustful of their advice and care, so although it was hard to hear and face, it was eventually welcomed and we worked it through accordingly.
Then again, I also had one pdoc that I tried to establish with after my old one retired, and she bulled on through, trying to change all of my meds immediately and not listening to a word I said through the first appt. By the second, she was correcting nearly every word I said, no matter what it was about, which put my hackles up immediately. It was a very cruddy experience.
Luvs,
~ San
A few of my docs - especially my very first pdoc, and my most recent tdoc - were of the kind to do so. But by the time they started addressing them, I'd of course already grown trustful of their advice and care, so although it was hard to hear and face, it was eventually welcomed and we worked it through accordingly.
Then again, I also had one pdoc that I tried to establish with after my old one retired, and she bulled on through, trying to change all of my meds immediately and not listening to a word I said through the first appt. By the second, she was correcting nearly every word I said, no matter what it was about, which put my hackles up immediately. It was a very cruddy experience.
Luvs,
~ San
:: Living is more than just being alive - Anberlin ::
Report This| Share this:The Failure who FailedI certainly agree, Anon - I'm a firm believer of having to face our pasts or "faults" in order to grow and thrive. I also agree that to do so in a healthy manner, though, it should be with a physician we've known and developed a repore (sp?) with. Otherwise, it can certainly come across as negative and more harmful than helpful.<br /> <br />A few of my docs - especially my very first pdoc, and my most recent tdoc - were of the kind to do so. But by the time they started addressing them, I'd of course already grown trustful of their advice and care, so although it was hard to hear and face, it was eventually welcomed and we worked it through accordingly.<br /> <br />Then again, I also had one pdoc that I tried to establish with after my old one retired, and she bulled on through, trying to change all of my meds immediately and not listening to a word I said through the first appt. By the second, she was correcting nearly every word I said, no matter what it was about, which put my hackles up immediately. It was a very cruddy experience.<br /> <br />Luvs,<br />~ San
I've made several bad choices, I recognize them. I don't blame anyone but myself for the choices I've made. Trying to deny that the actions I've made are in some ways relevant to my disorder, but I need to recognize when to push beyond the disorder or overcome it.
I've had several counselors who have told me I have more insight to my problems than most. Perhaps its journaling that has come to help me recognize my triggers, but I have yet to find a counselor who has given me techniques to work those, and I have tried to look them up myself. My family having no real support for me I find it hard to overcome, when the
"Guy" in me is saying you can do it alone and the other part, the logical says you need to let it out to someone.
Im crying in my head for the answers to my problems and ultimately would love to be med free. But I felt demoralized, and admittedly broke down crying in my car because she flooded me with all the things i'd done wrong in the past, I felt ashamed because I knew I had made those mistakes but I couldn't, or maybe wouldn't, face those all at once.
I've had several counselors who have told me I have more insight to my problems than most. Perhaps its journaling that has come to help me recognize my triggers, but I have yet to find a counselor who has given me techniques to work those, and I have tried to look them up myself. My family having no real support for me I find it hard to overcome, when the
"Guy" in me is saying you can do it alone and the other part, the logical says you need to let it out to someone.
Im crying in my head for the answers to my problems and ultimately would love to be med free. But I felt demoralized, and admittedly broke down crying in my car because she flooded me with all the things i'd done wrong in the past, I felt ashamed because I knew I had made those mistakes but I couldn't, or maybe wouldn't, face those all at once.
Report This| Share this:The Failure who FailedI've made several bad choices, I recognize them. I don't blame anyone but myself for the choices I've made. Trying to deny that the actions I've made are in some ways relevant to my disorder, but I need to recognize when to push beyond the disorder or overcome it. <br />I've had several counselors who have told me I have more insight to my problems than most. Perhaps its journaling that has come to help me recognize my triggers, but I have yet to find a counselor who has given me techniques to work those, and I have tried to look them up myself. My family having no real support for me I find it hard to overcome, when the <br />"Guy" in me is saying you can do it alone and the other part, the logical says you need to let it out to someone.<br />Im crying in my head for the answers to my problems and ultimately would love to be med free. But I felt demoralized, and admittedly broke down crying in my car because she flooded me with all the things i'd done wrong in the past, I felt ashamed because I knew I had made those mistakes but I couldn't, or maybe wouldn't, face those all at once.
Featuring Experts
There are no Expert stories for this community right nowHelpful Tips
NSAIDS and lithium
Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (eg, Motrin/ibuprofen, Advil, Naprosyn) raise lithium levels by about 20%. We often therefore say ... More
Was this Helpful?
64
of
87 found this helpful
Helpful Resources
Related News
Related Drug Reviews
- Drug Name User Reviews
Report Problems to the
Food and Drug Administration
You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.
Other Bipolar Disorder Information
- Bipolar Disorder Health Center
- Slideshow: Bipolar Disorder Overview
- Families of Depressed & Bipolar Kids Tips and Support from Members Like You!
-
More Related Communities
The opinions expressed in WebMD User-generated content areas like communities, reviews, ratings, or blogs are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. User-generated content areas are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service, or treatment.
Do not consider WebMD User-generated content as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.
Health Solutions From Our Sponsors
About WebMD Advertise With Us Terms of Use Privacy Policy Sponsor Policy Site Map Careers Contact Us
First Aid WebMD Magazine WebMD Health Record WebMD Mobile Newsletters Dictionary Physician Directory
©2005-2013 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information.