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Bipolar BF and Compartmentalization
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Laurie726 posted:
My BF is bipolar and also suffers from severe anxiety. We've been together for a year. However, he had a severe episode last August. Even though we live less that 10 miles from each other (he lives with his parents for now), he refuses to let me meet his family. He says that "I've always kept my social life seperate from my family life... even when I was married." He was married for 7 years and says his parents met his ex wife only a few times. He's 35 now. I don't get any of this "compartmentalization" as he calls it. He wants to move in together says he loves me and begged me not to leave him when he was sick. I just can't take the extreme isolation anymore. I told him that something needs to change in this relationship and it's up to him b/c I've done all I can do. Has anyone else heard of a person with bipolar doing this severe compartmentalization?
Life is so short and I feel like I've wasted my time being there for him when he clearly isn't there for me.
What can be done to get him out of this compartmentalization mind set, if anything?? Any info. or advice is greatly appreciated.
1 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Bipolar BF and CompartmentalizationMy BF is bipolar and also suffers from severe anxiety. We've been together for a year. However, he had a severe episode last August. Even though we live less that 10 miles from each other (he lives with his parents for now), he refuses to let me meet his family. He says that "I've always kept my social life seperate from my family life... even when I was married." He was married for 7 years and says his parents met his ex wife only a few times. He's 35 now. I don't get any of this "compartmentalization" as he calls it. He wants to move in together says he loves me and begged me not to leave him when he was sick. I just can't take the extreme isolation anymore. I told him that something needs to change in this relationship and it's up to him b/c I've done all I can do. Has anyone else heard of a person with bipolar doing this severe compartmentalization?<br />Life is so short and I feel like I've wasted my time being there for him when he clearly isn't there for me.<br />What can be done to get him out of this compartmentalization mind set, if anything?? Any info. or advice is greatly appreciated.
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bpcookie responded:
Hello Laurie, Try to think of your b/f first and his bipolar second. This may have nothing to do with bipolar. Just because someone acts a certain way or does a certain thing isnt always bipolar related.

If he is moving in with you soon and you want to be a part of his life in every way, then you need to make this clear with him. You DO have a say so in this. If he wont relent then perhaps you shouldnt be so willing to move into a place together.

One other thing, I would be insulted if a boyfriend called me his *social life*. What will he call you when/if you get married? His *social life with benefits*? Doesnt sound very nice does it?

I hope things get figured out to both of your likings. Like you said "life is short", so live your life to its fullest because you dont know what life holds for you up ahead.

Take care.
The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. ~Ivy Baker Priest
Report This| Share this:Bipolar BF and CompartmentalizationHello Laurie, Try to think of your b/f first and his bipolar second. This may have nothing to do with bipolar. Just because someone acts a certain way or does a certain thing isnt always bipolar related. <br /><br />If he is moving in with you soon and you want to be a part of his life in every way, then you need to make this clear with him. You DO have a say so in this. If he wont relent then perhaps you shouldnt be so willing to move into a place together.<br /><br />One other thing, I would be insulted if a boyfriend called me his *social life*. What will he call you when/if you get married? His *social life with benefits*? Doesnt sound very nice does it?<br /><br />I hope things get figured out to both of your likings. Like you said "life is short", so live your life to its fullest because you dont know what life holds for you up ahead.<br /><br />Take care.
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