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    Hallucination???? Unemployment???
    delora_anne posted:
    My doctor has advised me to quit my job and leave it as soon as possible. While on temporary restrictions, I did better than when I had to do customer service. Last week I was put back on restrictions again because I had a really bad mixed episode. I know that my job can't continue that accommodation forever, and I know I can't stay there. The job is what has triggered all of my episodes. Does anyone know if you can get unemployment with good cause with this type of situation? I don't feel like I can stand another second of it but I can't be without some sort of income.
    Also, during my recent episode I had some strange feeling/visual things and I wonder if these were hallucinations? I kept feeling like someone was walking up behind me but no one was there. Then I saw shadows dart by me in my peripheral vision, but nothing was really there. At the grocery store I felt like the bagger was staring me down, and I couldn't look up, but it felt like she was maliciously staring at me. When I was driving home a cop was behind me and I got anxious and wondered if he was after me because my driving was funny. I was very confused that day and making stupid mistakes and doing things and not remembering them. When I talked it sounded like my voice was coming from really far away and that I was talking really slow. Since i've been slurring my words and stumbling over my words. My thinking was so disorganized that I should not have been driving but I did anyway.
    Anyways, I am now in the depressive part of the cycle, so hopefully it will go away soon. I just had a really super bad episode a couple months ago and only had 3 weeks in between. Not good.
    melly2210 responded:
    In answer to your unemployment question, the answer is if you quit, you are not eligible. Even if you appeal the decision, you will likely be denied anyway.

    With your health on the line, you have to take the necessary steps to take care of you. It is a very hard decision to make, I know. Been there. And a customer service environment is pressure filled. I had similar experiences with my anxiety levels in the last job I had before my major crash. I haven't had any hallucinations, but the paranoia and speech issues...ditto.

    My advice is to follow your doctor's orders. Start contacting family for support. Churches. Your local NAMI office. Tap into any and all resources you can in preparation for being unemployed. Let this become your distraction to help you through the depressive part of your episode. And if it means you must spend some extended time in a residential unit to get the rapid cycling under control, then please do it. You'll feel so much better afterwards. And hopefully, be able to return to the workforce in a job that doesn't trigger your episodes.

    Best of luck to you!

    Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
    Anneinside responded:
    When I was in a bad state, my psychiatrist wrote a letter to my employer stating that I had to go on an extended medical leave of absence. I was lucky in that I had disability insurance. You should check into your benefits and see if you have short and/or long term disability insurance. Or perhaps you have sick leave days accumulated. You can't get unemployment while on a medical leave. I never quit my job, I was terminated as disabled after a year of a medical leave supported by my physician.
    delora_anne replied to melly2210's response:
    If it was only up to me I would just quit. But my husband tells me that is not an option and I just need to suck it up and get through it because we need the money. I'm tired of doing that. I have nearly exhausted all my FMLA time and the remainder has to last me until next March. I hate the job and the coworkers so much I am trying to think of some way to get fired which I know is bad. Maybe exhausting the fmla would do it? I have contacted a temp service I used to work for and told them that I want something with no customer service or quotas, since that stresses me out. I just don't know what to do, but I may have to just quit anyway and tell my hubby to just suck it up and get through it. LOL!
    delora_anne replied to Anneinside's response:
    My doc wrote a letter to my employer also and she also talked to them because they wanted to know why I couldn't do customer service. They are giving me up to 8 more weeks to get stabilized and then I will be required to do the customer service again. I know that I absolutely can't, so I have to find another job before that. I am just worried that the stress of any job will trigger me. I just feel like completely giving up and doing nothing.
    mozzergurl responded:
    I used to work as a Medical Asst./Office Manager for a busy medical corporation, so I understand the feeling of high stress levels in customer service positions... I had obtained this job a year after my diagnoses and with 6 months of stability so I thought I was ready to go back to my normal work habits. Boy was I wrong. 2 years later I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals due to stress and manic episodes due to lack of sleep. I would get into minor car accidents while driving to work cuz I would doze off. So, again, I was put on state disability. I exhausted my FMLA time and was dismissed from my position with the promise that once I was stable they'd love to have me back because I was such a great member of their work force... All the bipolar people I know that are in treatment and have gained stability are succesful in whatever they do... But the key word is being "stable". Then with help of your pdoc or tdoc you can decide when the right time for you to go back to work arrives. Unfortunatlely for some it is not possible to return to work due not being able to find the right med combos (such is my case), and side effects that impair our senses or motor skills. In those cases, talk to your pdoc, tdoc or family doc and ask about SSdisability, you may qualify. Just cuz you go on disability doesn't mean you're disabled for life. If and when you become stable you can always return to work. That is my plan.

    I can relate to the paranoia and speech issues. I actually developed a stutter as a side effect to one of my antipsychotics. I was taken off of it and it went away, well mostly, it comes back when I'm really tired or emotional. I've also had hallucinations of people being around me that aren't there or I see shadows of people and when I look around, nothing. I used to ask people that actually were there if they saw the other person I saw and they'd look at me weird, so I learned to tell myself it's not real and keep going about my business.

    I agree with melly2210, getting as much support as you can is crucial. Family, friends, support groups, church and so on can be life savers. I hope you can find the help you need. If you feel like you need an in pt. stay to help with your depression then do it. There is no shame in asking for help. Don't wait until you're so deep in a depression that you may not be able to pull yourself out of. I myself have had a few hospitalizations just so they can monitor my med changes and get me stable enough to return to the "living".

    Good luck
    delora_anne replied to mozzergurl's response:
    Thanks! I just found out a couple days ago that my employer is not going to let me quit doing customer service until my meds get stabilized, they are making me do it now. I know it is going to trigger my episodes. I had an episode just trying to shop on Saturday at one of my favorite stores. I felt like I was having a heart attack and once I got home I was ok.
    But on top of everything, my hubby just got laid off from work. I was all ready to just give my notice and then that happened. I will have to stay at this job to get health insurance. I seriously can't stand another second of the place, but I have to. Should I just keep calling in until I exhaust my FMLA? I only have about 3 weeks of it left and it has to last until next spring.
    ddnos replied to delora_anne's response:
    Delora_Anne, does your place of employment have 15 or more employees there? If so, you would qualify for some accomodations through the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA)

    There is also a really great site called JAN (Job Accomodation Network) where you can actually look up specific disabilities, such as bipolar, and it will list possible accommodations you could legally ask for under the ADA law. HEre is the site Actually, that link will bring you right to the link, A to Z Disabilities and you just click on whatever disability you need to look up. THe home page is

    They can also talk with you if you need help knowing exactly what your rights are on your job, what's legal and what's not according to the ADA - so they are a very good resource to have.

    Good luck, and I hope things work out for you, and I'm sorry that your husband just got laid off work. How sad!

    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
    ddnos replied to ddnos's response:
    bump - i just want to make sure the JAN link in my post is seen by the correct person
    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown

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