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im exshausted
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tiredtrisha posted:
I have been dignosed with bipolar a year and a half ago im 31 and so tired. Two days ago i was fired for tardiness at my job before that fired for missing work to much and job before that same thing. The jobs put up with it for almost 2years everytime. I fight myself everyday just to get up the medication they give i cant remember to even take it on a regular basis plus i take alot more for other medical problems but all of them make me sick to my stomach. I am afraid to tell my doctor so i have just stopped taking them, but i continue to refill my prescriptions. I have tried getting help with a conselor but they all say the same thing need more medication or how does that make you feel (well if they are so smart they would see and hear i feel horrible) i dont have friends i cant seem to have a relationship with anyone. Some days i just cry and some days im a little better the ups and downs are hard to hide on a day to day basis. i have been put in a mental hospital twice for suscidal thoughts. i have tried to get disability but cant understand or focus enough to explain to them whats going on in my head to make them understand how my day to day life feels like. im so tired of fighting to make myself keep up this imagine that im not sick i need help but
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melly2210 responded:
I am sorry you are feeling this way. I think most of us here know how you feel. It isn't a good place.

First of all, I think you need to get back to taking your medications and have an honest to goodness discussion about the reactions/side effects you are experiencing on those medications. It may not be the right mix or dosage or you may just need to hang in there until the levels get to a point where they are therapeutic.

As for the therapists, they are trying to dig to help you find what triggers your episodes or outbursts. It is very difficult to face these things, and a therapist can see you feel horrible. They just need to know the why so they can help you find coping skills to better handle it and help you feel better.

As for Social Security, I would suggest getting an attorney. Yes, they take a cut off your backpay, but they oftentimes can lead you through a process that is overwhelming and disheartening. Remember their job is to screen out those who don't need it, and unfortunately, this has become the fallback for the massively unemployed population. SS does require you to repeat what is wrong over and over and over again, and it does seem like they don't get it or understand. An attorney can walk you through the endless forms and screenings and doctor appointments. They also, if your claim makes it to a hearing process, present your case and guide you through that process as well. I felt overwhelmed with this as well, and having an attorney helped me immensely.

Mel

Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
 
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Anneinside responded:
You probably don't want to hear this but you have to start taking your medicine again. You say you forgot it a lot. You have to set up a routine for the morning. Use a weekly pillbox so that you will know if you forgot a dose and just take it late. If you drink coffee every morning put your pillbox by the coffee. You put your shoes on every day put it by your shoes... do you see what I mean? I have a morning routine I follow EVERY morning. I get up and use the bathroom, take my pills that are on the microwave just around the corner from my bedroom, get my Emsam patch, go back to the bathroom and brush my teeth, You need a routine.

It can be hard to get disability. You can't be earning a living wage, you need the support of your pdoc and tdoc and records from your hospital stays.

Six years ago I got SSD on the first try but I had been out of work for a year and on disability insurance, had a history of having ECT, over a dozen hospitalizations and both my pdoc and tdoc didn't think I could or should be working. I hear very few people say they got SSD on the first try, most talk about the many times they have to appeal.


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