Bipolar Disorder Community

Hello Lotus, its nice to meet you and welcome to the board. Could you be having a mixed episode? Although your manic right now, your symptoms also point to depression.

Here is a WebMD web site about mixed Bipolar episodes.

http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/mixed-bipolar-disorder

Also here is a web site with a list of Bipolar meds.

http://bipolar.about.com/cs/menu_meds/l/bl_medsAZ.htm

I hope that helps. Take care.

Please check out that site, cookie is right
I actually am mixed bipolar.
I take Depakote as a mood stablizer

Hi Lotus, I am new to this site and just started reading postings today. I can identify with the side affects associated with depression and medications and have felt like a "zombie" on more occasions than I can (or care to) remember. Like you, I have been prescribed many different meds over the years. Actually, I have been dealing with this for so long I have made the rounds and am faced with starting over with some that I tried many years ago. It is very easy to get discouraged and give on things when you feel like you can't get a hold on your life and get tired to struggling all the time. Perhaps shutting down our emotions is a way of dealing with (not feeling) the pain and disappointment we face...I have done that as well. I have shut myself off from most everyone at times. I don't know about you but, at the end of the day, it made things twice as bad due to the eventual feelings of total isolation. Thinking about it after reading your post reminded me that when I get like that I don't want to feel my emotional pain so I avoid any and all feelings and emotions (people and relationships). Withdrawal like that has been very hard on my family and friends (the few I have left) and marriage(s). Extremely hard on me as I take personal inventory. As far as not being religious...as part of my total and complete frustration and discouragement is also deep feelings of abandonment...I have lost faith when I felt like God wasn't there for me when I really needed comfort and serenity. I pushed religion away along with everything else in my life. Sounds like you have separated yourself from all the things that are meaningful in your life...all the things that make you feel something from sex to religion and everything in between. Sadly, although I tried, I never have been able to not feel...I have replaced good and healthy feelings with destructive ones quite often though! Having made an effort to "get a second breath", I am questioning (with good reason) my original diagnosis of Bi-Polar II due to identifying with all the signs and symptoms related to Borderline Personality Disorder. I have the notion that the reason it is called "medical practice" is because it is not an exact science and mistakes are made all of the time.. As well, I am angered everytime I sit forever in a "waiting" room (how rude!) as a "patient" which I am anything but these days. I have pissed off doctors by asking questions, verbalizing my doubt and refusing to accept their diagnosis as the law...It is not the easiet thing to do or the most pleasant either but I have FINALLY reached a point where my doctor (when I find one) has to do something more than blindly prescribe meds without any regard for how they affect me or the quality of my life, for me to trust his/her opinion as to MY treatment. Hang in there and give 'em hell!