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    LiviaC posted:
    When I was younger I noticed a change in my attitude, way of thinking, and actions. I began researching bipolar disorder around 11th/12th grade of high school(I'm in my 4th year of college now). I never tried to go see a doctor about this because I know my family would never let me(they don't believe anything is ever wrong with me) I was hoping that I could get some feed back from someone who actually has the disorder. Maybe if you guys feedback helps me, I could be able to seek some help. If anyone is willing I can describe some of the things I've been going through so you can get a better idea. Thanks in advance.
    bpcookie responded:
    Hello Livia, Its nice to meet you. Since your an adult you can now see what ever Dr. you want. You don't have to tell your family anything. When you get diagnosed then you can share the info. with your family, if thats what you want to do.

    Of course you may post your symptoms here and we can give you our opinions but we can't diagnose you, only a Dr. can do that.
    You may go through life hearing a 1000 NO's but don't give up because your YES is out there waiting for you.- (Something my father told me.)
    lexismom11 responded:
    Even if your family doesn't believe anything is wrong, they are not you. They can't tell you whether or not you can see a doctor. Are you still under your parents' insurance? If this is the case, you can still see a doctor without your parents consent.

    You know yourself better than anyone else. If you believe something may be wrong, then it's worth checking out. A Doctor is the best person to talk to in order to get diagnosed. Feel free to discuss what is going on with you here. We can give opinions, but remember to see a doctor.
    LiviaC replied to lexismom11's response:
    I don't have any insurance and I'm still living with my parents until I finish school. The only thing I can think of is wait until I get back to school, living out of town, and try to seek help from some of medical staff on campus. Pretty much as long as I am living with them, I have to try and do this by myself.
    LiviaC replied to bpcookie's response:
    I don't currently have any insurance and I still live with my parents while I'm finishing school. I honestly don't even know where to start to try and get help. At first I thought maybe I was going through slight depression because my grandmother recently passed, but I have noticed symptoms as far back as 11th grade(16/17 then, 21 now).
    slik_kitty replied to LiviaC's response:
    every county in the us has a mental health clinic. they charge based on your ability to pay. you can find them in the govt pages of your phone book. give them a call and set something up to get evaluated.
    LiviaC replied to lexismom11's response:
    When I get the chance, I do plan on getting evaluated. One minute I feel fine, the next I don't know what's wrong with me. At first I though maybe I was suffering from depression, but I noticed other problems. I will have times where I'm up high, & the next minute I'm so down. And the smallest things upset me to the point of tears. Most of the time when I'm with friends, I am in a good mood. But recently I've even had to pretend to be happy around them. This may have something to do with relocation issues. I recently spent a year of my life living in a new city. I went from being on my own and enjoying my life, to spending the last 9 months back home with my family. I hate to say it, but every time I 'm forced to spend long periods of time with my family, I notice a drastic change in my mood and mental stability. This is the main reason I think it could just be depression, but I won't be sure until I am able to get evaluated.
    bpcookie replied to LiviaC's response:
    wow, you sound like me. I understand why you start to feel depressed when you spend too much time with family. I took a vacation with my husband and we stayed at his sisters house. We were there for a week. I became so depressed that I shut myself up in the bed room and would only come down to eat.

    If your living with your family then perhaps you can do things in your bedroom. Watch tv, read a book, do some crafting, email friends, talk to friends on the phone and pin up lovely posters or pictures on the walls. Surround yourself with pictures of things that make you happy, like animals, nature, friends, etc.

    We have a daily post where you can tell us about your day and how your doing. Perhaps you may want to try replying to it.

    Take care and let us know how your doing.
    You may go through life hearing a 1000 NO's but don't give up because your YES is out there waiting for you.- (Something my father told me.)
    LiviaC replied to bpcookie's response:
    (I'm still new to the site, still learning. Where is the daily post?)
    I've never been able to be who I want to be or live my life how I wanted to for so long, that when I finally got that year to live my life for me, I dreaded coming back home for the summer. At first it, I was just gonna be home until August. But my grandmother got real sick and I didn't want to be away from home when she passed so I took a semester online & moved back home to be with her. She passed in May, but by then it was too late to switch my classes back over. I'm stuck living at home from May until mid January. I can't really "get away" in this house. I have the type of "father" who in some sick way wants his children to "suffer" like he claims to have suffered as a child. So if any of us do something that he doesn't approve of, he tries to find ways to seclude 1 or more of us from everyone else. You can imagine how painful it can be in a house of 4-6 people, and the majority of them treat you as if you're not there or belittle you whenever you come into a room/leave a room. When my brother moved out. his room became my study/tv room. I recently had a breakdown & of course my "dad" made it about him. I laying on the floor crying my heart out, hyperventilating, having a panic attack, and all he cares about is how selfish I'm being by doing so. He claimed he wanted to talk & figure out what was wrong, but all he did was call me spoiled, selfish, and a brat. I told him I don't want to talk. Ever since then he has taken the Directv box out of my room, pretends I don't exist unless it's time to call me names, & tries to put everyone against me. He even goes as far as getting mad at my mother if I try to spend any time with her. I have no "safe place" here, all my friends are off at school and don't have time to talk when I need to. My brothers work all day, and anytime I try to open up no one wants to listen or believe what I have to say. I've have come to the conclusion that no one here likes me, I'm OK with that. I'm just counting the days until I can move back to school and finally be happy again.

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