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Bi-polar- Not sure
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An_248991 posted:
My wife and I have been married for 20 years. In 2000 she was diagnosed with clinical depression, she was treated and cured and was, and I think still is on medication.For 4 years we lived apart.when I was working out of country. At that time she took up with a ' live in boyfriend' during most of that time. We reunited in 2004 and in 2011 she decided that she would look for someone new by joining a U.K. Mating site. She used her interest in Archaeology as an excuse to visit the U.K on two occasions in 2011 and then this year went again for 3 months and has return to the U.K. this past September for good she said. However being a Canadian she seems to have to return because her visitors visa is about to expire (my theory, a I am a Brit and Canadian citizen). She has over the past two years taken up with at least 3 men in the U.K. and has been living with one on this past visit. She gave up a very secure job in July without telling me until we past our 20th anniversary in early August, she was to sell her car and instructed her sister to give all her cloths etc away to charity and would only be returning if her mother died. She has lied deceived and not given me any clue for the past two years actions, or discussed her plans as to to why she would do this. She has also withdrawn most of her retirement saving (in excess of $200,000) which has been funding her past trips. I am retired and she is 7 years younger, but we have had a very loving and stable relationship for the past 7 years. She seemed to do the same thing with her first husband, except she did it locally. I am not argumentative or in anyway violent, and I find this action by her to be so out of character from the woman I thought I knew. All her female friend think as I do and are also very confused by her actions. She returns in two weeks and filed for divorce 6 days before she left in September, but took me to bed 2 days after signing the petition, and at the same time was in email discussion with her new U.K. boyfriend, which were quite graphic. I am mortified and have concluded that this is the last straw, but because of her actions I really think that she must have some mental problem that is driving this and would appreciate some input.
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bpcookie responded:
Hello An_248991, First I would like to say that I am so sorry that you have went through this for so many years. I'm sure that your very confused and hurt. You have every right to be hurt.

Since your wife is now out of your life, its probably best to start thinking about yourself instead of trying to find a reason as to *why* she did this. You may never know why. She may just be a selfish person.

I wish you the very best of luck and a happy life. You deserve to be happy.
You may go through life hearing a 1000 NO's but don't give up because your YES is out there waiting for you.- (Something my father told me.)
 
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mercygive responded:
Dear An_248991

I can't believe you have survived this roller coaster relationship this long. It's obvious that you still love your wife and want the best care for her. I think you would benefit from spending more time with your friends and family, and maybe a therapist to help you get some answers. I really don't mean to be offensive, but (these days) you might want to take a look at your situation from another angle. If your wife (possibly mentally ill) has been irresponsibly adventurous, you need to be concerned about your health too and make an appointment with your doctor to discuss blood testing for STDs and HIV/AIDS — if you haven't already.

Good luck and take good care of you.
Mercy
Choose life, God's Grace and humor - mercygive




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