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Husband Wanting to Help... Before it's too late.
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An_249422 posted:
First of all, I love my fiancee with all my heart. She is the light of my life. I've noticed more and more that she has mood swings and temperments that could possibly be bipolar disorder. When she was a teenager, her mother and stepfather wanted her to be evaluated for BD but she refused. During a time in a youth home, she was diagnosed as possibly being bipolar. She has days where she is chipper and hapyp, and then the next couple days she will be vehement on starting arguments over things that aren't important. She recently lost her job which has put us in a dire financial situations, but these episodes were happening prior to that. When I brought up that she see someone for possibly being depressed or BD it started a major fight. I'm really running out of patience here. These bad days she has have split us up before. She actually picked a fight about me picking up a couple of ingredients that she wasn't able to go to the store for yesterday. I'm really beating my head against the wall trying to be calm and still be sweet, but it's getting harder. How do I act around someone who may be bipolar so that she knows I'm here to support her, but that I am wanting to enable her temper. I feel like if I don't do what she wants, then it's over or it's a major fight.
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slik_kitty responded:
if she won't get help, then you have to ask yourself if you love her enough to keep putting up with this because it will not get better without help.
 
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LovingHusband2011 replied to slik_kitty's response:
That's been my concern. This has taken a toll on any intimacy we have. Our sex life has taken a major dive. I don't like entertaining the idea of cheating on her or leaving her, but I'm afraid that is where we are headed. I've been devoted, loving, and sweet. I've tried to let her know that I may not understand everything she is feeling, I want to help in any way I can. But that hasn't helped anything. The girl I started dating over a year ago is gone. She's been replaced by this angry person. I know I have a temper, so keeping it in check when she's having an episode is almost impossible at times. I cried myself to sleep last night. I don't usually cry, but the stress is just getting to be too much.
 
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bpcookie replied to LovingHusband2011's response:
I understand your frustration with your fiance. I know your under a great deal of stress and your at the end of your rope. I also agree with Slik Kitty %100. BUT, if you are devoted, loving and sweet then why would you even consider cheating on her? Is it because of the lack of sex? Cheating should never be an option. If your thinking about cheating then you should just leave her.
You may go through life hearing a 1000 NO's but don't give up because your YES is out there waiting for you.- (Something my father told me.)
 
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LovingHusband2011 replied to bpcookie's response:
Here's the deal. Most days, I can't even feel like the person I'm living with loves me. She doesn't do anything for me in this relationship like she used to. These episodes have taken a toll on us. No, I would not want to cheat on her, but I don't know what else to do. I never get anything that I would like. My needs do not even come into play. I'm 26, I'm not 66. I have had to deal with my own problems, on my own. I suffered from depression, so I went to counseling. I am more depressed than ever because I have no hope that things are going to get better. And how do I leave her two weeks before Christmas? She has two kids and no job. I feel cheated, like life has dealt me a losing hand and there is no hope of things getting better.
 
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bpcookie replied to LovingHusband2011's response:
There is hope, there is always hope. But what you are hoping for may not be what happens. Instead you may end up in a different relationship, a more loving relationship, a relationship that gives back to you as much as you give to it.

On my first post I replied more about the cheating than anything else. Let me tell you why. I have been married for 13 yrs, our sexual relationship has been perfectly normal and healthy. Then something medically happened to me that makes it too painful for me to have sex most of the time. One of my greatest fears is that my husband will feel that he *needs* sex and will cheat on me. I know deep down inside that he won't but the fear is still there. So when I hear of anyone feeling like they need to cheat in order to have their needs met, then I get a bit upset and sad about it.
You may go through life hearing a 1000 NO's but don't give up because your YES is out there waiting for you.- (Something my father told me.)
 
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ddnos replied to LovingHusband2011's response:
Hey Lovinghusband, just want to let you know that the original post of this thread posted twice and the other one was replied to a couple times once by myself and someone else, so you may want to have a look at those too, though I think they say much of the same.

Debbie
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
 
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ddnos replied to ddnos's response:
Oh, I meant to say to scroll down further to find those posts i was referring to
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown


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