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Father obsessed with his son
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An_249479 posted:
My boyfriend is 31 and his father is obsessed with him. He has never encouraged his son to do anything with his life other than video games(he's a gamer). I encouraged him to go to school and now he is graduating in auto mechanics. His father does everything for him he's 60 and doesn't have a girlfriend. I can't stand his father because he's so weird with his son my boyfriend knows it, I don't hide it. He is in therapy he want's help. His father treats him like a child he de-man's him in front of people and I of course flip out on his father we have brawls. Not fist fights but nasty words. We rescued a dog and when we took our dog to the groomer's he fought and cried with his son because he didn't like the way the dog looked. To me this isn't normal I am estranged from my mother because she is exactly like this man and I will not allow myself to be around her.He has made his son so dependent on him he also gives him 20.00 allowance for doing nothing. I find myself obsessing about this man because I can't understand this. He would also call him 30 x daily and if he didn't answer he would not only call my phone but my boyfriend's mother. I told him to tell his father to stop calling so much and he did. He's so weird I don't have enough space to tell you everything but any advice will help.
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bpcookie responded:
Hello there, Sounds like a complete mess. So let me see if I have this correct. Your b/f's father is obsessed with his son and now you have become obsessed with the dad because of his obsession over his son?

Is anybody in the post above, Bipolar?

I just don't know what to say about all of this. I would really like to help but I'm a little confused.

I can hear your frustration but I just don't know how to advice you. I'm sorry. I wish you luck.
You may go through life hearing a 1000 NO's but don't give up because your YES is out there waiting for you.- (Something my father told me.)
 
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ddnos responded:
Hi An,

Your bf's dad will continue to enable his son as long as his son allows it. There are two sides to this - not just the dad. The son needs to learn how to stand up and not allow his dad to treat him the way he does. It will be hard because the son likes something about it or he wouldn't have let it go on this long. So if he really wants it to stop, then he has to stop letting his dad enable him - he needs to stop playing the game.

Debbie
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
 
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obsession replied to bpcookie's response:
I'm sorry what I meant was I've never seen a parent act this way so it stays on my mind. Yes my bf knows how messed up this is. Hopefully it will at some point change or I will change. Thank you for the responses. Have a happy holiday.
 
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ddnos replied to obsession's response:
yeah, i think I understood what you said - i was just saying that the dad will continue to act this way as long as the son allows it.

Happy holiday to you too!
Debbie
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown


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