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    Bipolar/Chemical imbalance
    chemicalimbalanced posted:
    Hi. I am new to WebMD. I have had bipolar since 1982. I was in my late teens. I was born with this, but not diagnosed till then. I had a psychotice breakdown, and was hospitalized for a month. Then I had a nervous break down. After that I had post partem depression after the birth of my first son. As a child growing up, I always felt I was different from everyone else. I always thought my thinking was different from other people my own age. But I kept all theese thoughts to myself. I was also molested as a young child by my Grandfather. And told noone till after I was married and then my family new. I did'nt want my mom to know what her Dad did to me. So now I am 50 years old and I am my worst enemy because I constantly after being on my meds for my disorder quit taking them for 6 months or so, and then go and get back on them because I have to. I just wonder why after telling myself that I will never do that again, I do. Does anyone out there do the same thing. And if so did you do it in the past but now u stopped? Any feedback would be appreciated.
    monkeybee responded:
    Hi chemicalimbalanced and welcome to the board!

    I too was diagnosed at 15 (after both depressive and manic episodes that alternated fairly rapidly over about 3 or 4 years) and took meds for about 5 years and then stopped, believing I was not actually Bipolar. I never had any major symptoms (that I noticed) of Bipolar except for Depressions that I always considdered situational (ie: postpardom). About a year ago, I had the worse manic episode of my life, and a psychotic break. I got back on medication about 3 months ago. It is still hard for me too, to accept I will always be taking them and am already tempted to stop some days (althogh my husband keeps me WAY in check there). For some people, like you and me, the temptation is always there. I just ask myself which is worse, medication or psychosis? The answer will always be medication!

    I hope things get easier for you!
    chemicalimbalanced replied to monkeybee's response:
    Thank you so much for welcoming me. And ty too for the great advice. Have a great day.

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