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Did I do the right thing?
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Sisterofbp posted:
Ok...so my sis has bp, she sees a community mh provider (not the greatest) and when in session only tells them good happy things. She is too scared about being put in hospital to admitt things are out of control. She is talking so fast, changing subjects mid conversation (and just TRY and be in that conversation), making bad money choices, screaming and punching things, unable to stick to one task to see it through, AND she has a downs child, a bp child, an adult mh needs child to care for. Things have got so bad I had to call cps for safety of children, called and left mssg for her counselor....yet I feel so bad for having to do that. Now she won't talk to me, has told me to go away and never call again. Kids are confused (cps didn't remove them, but that's not what I wanted...I wanted to make sure they were ok and sis got help). What should I have done differently? She doesn't think she needs any help, and wouldn't listen to my pleas to call or go in. Hurt and desperate in AZ.
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sandtiger responded:
Personally I don't think calling CPS was a good thing. Contacting her therapist, possibly. But CPS, no.

It all boils down to the saying about how you can't help someone, if they're not willing to help themselves. You can only do so much for her, but you can't live her life for her. As much as you want, you can't fix her. She has to be willing to be honest enough to admit her own things and get the help she needs.

One thing you can do - see if she'd be willing to let you come along to her appointments. Some patients have people who do so, kind of like representatives, to admit to things they either can't or won't, or haven't noticed from the outset. If she's unwilling to do that, then - as much as it will hurt - you'll have to accept what she says and let her make her own mistakes.

((hugs)) good luck!
~ San
:: Living is more than just being alive - Anberlin ::
 
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ddnos replied to sandtiger's response:
I can't say re calling CPS or not based on the info you provided here - but if the children are in danger and/or are being abused, then yes, I would call CPS. If it's being used as threat to get your sis to get help, then no. SO it depends on whether or not the children are safe. They may not be in the ideal situation, and that's hard, but if they are otherwise safe, then CPS would not be the place to call. So are the children being abused, severely neglected, and unsafe?
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
 
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Sisterofbp replied to ddnos's response:
To ddnos..yes, I believe so. Powder insecticides were being used in home without regard to placement on counters, in dish and utensil drawers, in food storage areas, etc. Hitting of children happens whenever she is raging, without regard to child. Dragging of down child through house (85lbs of 8 yrs old). Having food in home, but not fixing it...list goes on. And yes, adult child living with is dangerous and uses weapons when in out of control anger (on medication but refuses/"forgets" to take it).

To Santiger...I HAVE gone to therapy sessions with her. That is why I know she doesn't "fess up" to how she is really doing. She gets annoyed/angry if I "talk to much" and to let her do talking.

So...question....If someone breaks their arm, and is in need of help, but they don't think it's "that bad", yet the bone is protuding...wouldn't one step in and take that individual to see a doc?

BTW...her husband used to physically pick her up, throw her in the truck, and TAKE her into the hospital when she was in her manic state. Not saying that's good either, but it was effective.
 
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ddnos replied to Sisterofbp's response:
sisterofbp, then if that is the case, I do think you were right in calling CPS, and sounds like maybe the children should in fact be removed from the home for their protection. I would hate for them to be split up and in foster care because you never know what kind of home they are going to end up in -could be worse than where they are. So just wondernig if there are family members who could care for the children untl your sister gets herself some help? The children are innocent in this situation and should in no way have to endure the abuse of thier mother, mentally ill or not. What's important is the childrens safety and that they are in a loving environment. That doesn't sound to be the case right now. Very difficult situation for you, as her sister, to see and also to not know fully what to do.

My biggest concern is for the children. Your sister is an adult who is currently refusing treatment and is out of control; but her children shouldn't have to put up with that when it's manifesting itself in abuse and neglect. The mom doesn't deserve to keep her children rigth now - not until she gets herself under control and stops abusing them!

Debbie
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown


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