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wife with bipolar
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bretsky12 posted:
hi, my wife is bipolar, has been well for a long time, recently went progressively into hypo-mania..very upsetting..very difficult...very sad.

my daughter and i moved out of the house for a couple of weeks, now we are back....my wife feels better than ever,,, but our family is being torn apart...i am having a real struggle trying to handle all this.

any help or advice....
thank you
Reply
 
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bretsky12 responded:
oops...okay...sorry double post.
 
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leon1616 replied to bretsky12's response:
Hi Bretsky.

I was recently diagnosed, after spending my adult life pretty much knowing. I guess the one thing I really try to impress upon my wife (and when they get a bit older, my kids), is that it's not their fault. It's not anything they're doing or not doing. I imagine, for the families of BPDs, doubt creeps in about that from time to time.

I guess my point is this: try to keep that in mind at the times it seems most difficult to do so, and try to make sure your kids know it, too. These episodes are internal, and not a reflection on her love or happiness with her family. I appreciate the effort my wife makes to keep that in mind when I'm at my lowest points, and I'm sure your wife will appreciate it also.
 
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bretsky12 replied to bretsky12's response:
yes, Leon i definitely feel guilty for not loving her enough..i never believed she really loved me...so i took that as an excuse not to love her...but i do feel like i somehow caused this to happen..
and thank you for the reassurance...
 
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bretsky12 replied to leon1616's response:
also replied one other time..and thanking you for your reply...but now i dont know what i said...as i thought it posted but apparently it didnt. and yes it is difficult to seperate my wife from her behavior..and today i listened to a conversation between my wife and her new.."love"...and he is married also...i really want to tell his wife what is going on...but i dont know if that is the right thing to do....and i also want to confront her on this..as i have refrained from that so far...mostly...
thank you again
 
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mattthecat replied to bretsky12's response:
bretsky12 welcome to the board.
my wife has bipolar 2 and has long periods of uncontrollable mania even medicines wont control the symptoms totally.
what measures do you and your wife take to cope with her symptoms? Does she take medicine? Does she see a psychiatrist and or a counselor?
My wife and I have learned to cope with the Illness and separate our feeling from the Illness and never loose sight of the love we share for one and other.
There are many things you both can do to cope my wife has a psychiatrist for the medicine side of the illness, a counselor to help her cope with the symptoms and we have a couples counselor who helps both of cope by talking out all the things we can do in our relation ship to keep it separate from the Illness.
My wife and i are determined to stay together. We have made plans on what to do when her symptoms start getting bad ,set boundaries on what is and is not acceptable to keep us together for the long haul including such as rules like the medicine her psychiatrist prescribes must be taken at all times, physical violence against me or herself means immediate hospitalization on her part, cheating will not be tolerated and neither will any behavior that is self destructive or harmful to others.
We have found that having a couples counselor has been a big part to us getting the rules and boundaries to work. We did not just get any couples counselor. We chose a counselor who specializes in bipolar not couples counseling to see us as a couple.
Maybe you can do some of the things we have done.
Either way I hope things get better for both of you soon.

Matt
 
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bretsky12 replied to mattthecat's response:
thank you matt , she refuses to believe there is anything wrong with her. she stopped taking her abilify awhile back and told me she would not take it if i got it for her
 
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mattthecat replied to bretsky12's response:
Bretsky12 Sorry to hear your wife is in denial. Does she even see a doctor or psychiatrist about her bipolar?
I Hope she get better soon.

Matt
 
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mattthecat replied to mattthecat's response:
bump


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