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    Singing Saturday - daily post may contain TRIGGERS
    melly2210 posted:
    I don't know wtf is up with the boards, so I apologize if this is a duplicare. I didn't see another one.

    Weather: Hot and sunny.

    Sleep: Long, but exhausting none the less

    Mood: Mixed episode still but on the down side today

    Plans: Slept. Slept. Slept. Went out and planted the peas and either cucumber or squash. SOMEBODY (ds2) didn't tag whether it was cucumber or squash when we did the starters and their leaves are too similar at this age to tell. LOL. Otherwise looks like I am not going to be doing nothing other than maybe cooking dinner.

    Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
    bpcookie responded:
    Hello peeps

    Weather: uuummm I think nice and warm. I should go outside, perhaps it would make me feel better

    Sleep: I slept well, as in all night long, except to roll over or go to the ladies room. But I don't think that Im sleeping deep enough because I am totally exhausted. You can see it in my eyes, my face, my body, just exhausted.

    Mood: anxious, depression, manic, a big fat roller coaster ride. I blame it all on my medication. Lyrica, lorazepam, muscle relaxers, pain meds. They are messing with my thinking, my memory, my concentration. Ya know how it feels when your dissociating? Lyrica makes me feel just like that.

    Plans: Watch my life go by with out being in it (mind wise). Every day is a waste because Im exhausted, I hurt, my emotions are out of control and don't feel real. This is no way to live. I look in the mirror and I see this 48 year old woman who looks way older. Kinda reminds me of one of the women who have worked on a farm all her live and has that dark, withered face. Thats me. I'm ghastly.

    Well, I need to get on a different med. to take the place of Lyrica. Someone told me about another nerve med. that started with a C. but for the life of me I can't remember it.

    Love to all, muahs
    We will be friends until we are old and senile,.........then we will be new friends!!
    melly2210 replied to bpcookie's response:
    Awww cookie....

    I understand the sleep thing. There with you. Maybe we should get together and see if we can beat each other into a deep sleep?

    And the floating through life? I don't think that it's dissociation. I think that it's more depression that anything else. I have been like that the last couple of days too. Hard to explain. But you nailed the looking in the mirror and see a much older woman. It sucks. I've even gotten up and tried makeup hoping that I would like what I see. I think it's med related too.

    I hope the "C" med works as well as the Lyrica without the side-effects.

    Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson

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