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    Tired of it - Spoiler
    ddnos posted:

    I cancelled going to my mom's last week due to a last minute appt, so I told her I would go there this week Thursday. I just can't cancel on her again - last month, i had to cancel 3 times before able to go because of depression. These days i don't know if I'm going to wake up, in the shower by 7 a.m. and productive all day, or wake up and go back to bed half the day, unmotivated to do ANYTHING. I can have 2 good days and 3 bad days all in one day or any variety of that. It's almost noon and I've already had 1 good day and 2 bad days (if that makes sense to anyone)

    I'm tired of this - I really am. I think that my tdoc my be a lil po'd at me, but I'll find out for sure prolly tomorrow. I wrote a list of everything i want my new doc to address when i see her next tuesday -well, she ca'nt addres them all in one apt, but one of them is for her to check my TSH to see if my hormones are playing a part in my depressoin. Also, will be getting my adrenaline level results today - been feeling like they are really high, causing some irritating symptoms. I just want to friggen xplode! Half the time whne sitting watching tv or something, i can't sit still (WAY more than normal) and every cell inside me wants to explode, scream, hit something, etc. It's driving me nuts! *Spoiler* I don't want to kill myself, but lately I wouldn't mind dying by some means other than self infliction. Clarification - I'm NOT suicidal and have NO iintentions of doing anything that drastic - I'm just saying.

    Maybe i go back to bed, or maybe i try really hard get in shower, get dressed and do things need to do. second option best, so try that one.

    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
    slik_kitty responded:
    I hope you got out yesterday and did your stuff.
    ddnos replied to slik_kitty's response:
    hi kitty, no, i didnt. i slept all day got nothing done. so i up early now. took provigil just now so hopefully get done things today.

    i got results of adrenalen and its highest its ever been, which e xplanes lots of symptoms been ahving. will see doc week from today to see if anything can be done to lower it other than go off nardil, which im not going to do, cus can't.

    ok you have good day and try stay out of trouble if you can.
    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
    ibex7 replied to ddnos's response:
    (((hugs))) to you, Debbie,

    Sorry to let you know how many days my first waking thought is "Do I want to get up or stay in bed just a little longer?"

    Here's something that helps me. Set an alarm clock for your wake up time ACROSS THE ROOM. Go to the bathroom where you have prepared (the night before) toothpaste, mouthwash, and a spray bottle of your perfume. That's it.

    See if that gives you a JUMP START on your day! - goat
    Sometimes you don't mean to say what you mean to say you mean.
    ddnos replied to ibex7's response:
    Thanks Goat, I wish something like that would work for me, but my problem goes further than that. I literally CAN'T stay awake - physically can't. Sometimes it's just physical, then other times it's both physical and psychological, in which case I still can't do it. I have to take medication to keep me awake during the day, but some days I think I don't need to, so I don't, btu I did. lol I don't normally have to take it everyday except lately, been having to a lot, and i hate th at. but tho it keeps me awake, it doesn't always get me motivated - but it does help.

    What i need is someone with a broom to whomp over my head a few times. lol No, you don't have to volunteer lol

    Thanksk for your thoughts
    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
    ibex7 replied to ddnos's response:
    At your service, ddnos,

    Maybe what you need is a kindly old hubby who stays up late
    (for obvious reasons) and wakes up early to slip a nice ice bag under your nitey. Ya know, to keep you on your toes.

    I'd be willing to be a great friend with benefits, and even share living expenses. I eat most anything, butt prefer popcorn. Hee hee.
    BTW, I'm the kind of guy who wakes you up in the morning with an embrace and a little neck nuzzle to let you know how much you are appreciated.
    Sometimes you don't mean to say what you mean to say you mean.
    slik_kitty replied to ibex7's response:
    hey goat! why don't you offer me all that stuff? i could sure use it. except for the ice pack. he he he
    bpcookie responded:
    Oh holy heck Doodles, Im sorry that I missed this post. I was MIA.
    About your adrenalin test. First of all, I have never heard of that. lol It makes a lot of sense though. If your adrenalin is high, then you would be zooming around like a nut. It kinda mimics mania. Well honey, I hope your Dr. can fix this soon. We don't need an adrenalin junky running around Washington. There are already too many pot heads running around. hehehe. Big hugs honey
    Please join my community called GRUMPY GROUPIES (scroll down/Related Mental Health Communities/More/click). Fun and serious topics, nothing is taboo. So get on over there. Weirdo's are welcomed.

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