Morning. Sorry I am not consistent about the dailies and haven't been posting much to anyone else. It's really all I can do lately to just check email or pop on and leave.
Weather: Bright and sunny and back to being hot and humid
Sleep: Should be enough but depression factoring in and want more
Mood: Frustrated, full of anxiety, depressed big time and fearful
Plans: Clean, clean, clean. And while I am at it baby proofing. Force myself to eat something since I have absolutely no appetite. Survival eating as I call it. Clean some more. Laundry (ugh). "Supposed" to pick up grandbaby today but last time she said we could, she didn't bother to return calls. I hope for hub's sake she does this time. Personally, I am not up to dealing with an 11 mo old who just started walking. I feel bad about that. Picking up my boys later too. Maybe dinner out afterwards because I really don't have time to cook with all the cleaning I am doing today. Going to do my best to enjoy the kids. And somewhere in all of this, I have to get back on the phone and fight with insurance co about finding a neuro opthalmologist AGAIN. I dealt with that ALL day yesterday with no resolution. And next week I have the spinal tap on Friday. I am just so afraid now that I am going to loose my vision completely. Have my font up high enough that anyone can read it from across the room, and even then it's a strain on my eyes. Add in a new haze over the so-called good eye too. I just want to know wtf is wrong so I can start pursuing a cure or alternative options for training before I am completely blind. I don't know what I am going to do without my support groups cause they are all online. Everything is just being taken away. Well, enough of that. We'll just say I am scared to death and that fear and circumstances has plunged me into a deep drepression.
Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
(((Melly))) sorry to hear you are struggling. Hope you get through to the insurance and get some answers. I hate dealing with the insurance companies/drs offices, etc. I have been waiting over a month for a referral from my drs office...still nothing and I don't want to deal with it. I hope you can enjoy some time with your boys and enjoy dinner out. It sounds like that would be a nice way for you to relax.
Cookie...yesterday you mentioned looking for another dog. I highly encourage that! There have been a few "moments" between our senior dog and our puppy but overall, they get along and it turns out it has helped our senior dog a lot to have that companionship. All of our pets..dogs, rabbits, guinea pigs...have done best with a companion. Good luck with that decision. Plus, you have a wonderful home to give some lucky dog that needs a warm, loving home.
Plans: Just another day of pain and not being able to do much. Every now and then I feel like I am a useless human. All I seem to do is cry. I am using our money for medical, I can't have relations with my hubby because of my stupid VLSC, I can't walk my dog or play with her like she needs, can't do all of the chores. I feel so useless. Ive been wanting to get another dog so that my dog Chewy will have a sister to play with. I feel so badly for her. My husband told me last night "we can't get another dog. You can't take care of another dog. You can barely take care of yourself". He is right.
Have a nice Friday peeps. muahs
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