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Crashing down...may be TRIGGERING
melly2210 posted:
For those of you who don't know, in Feb I suffered a sudden onset of change in my vision. It impacted both eyes, but my right eye took the brunt of the damage. The best way I can describe it is that it was like crossing your eyes and being unable to uncross them. My "good" left changed a whole half a point to the worse and that was a month ago. Now it's on and off hazy and decreasing as well. Seeing a large screen tv clearly means sitting 5-6 from it. Reading here means blowing my view up massively.

Anyways, I have been FIGHTING to see the drs I need to see, particularly a neuro opthalmologist. I've seen an opthalmologist (reg) who referred me to a reg neuro who referred me on because I was out of his scope of expertice after ruling out a number of other possible causes. I've switched pdocs to discuss dosages and meds I am taking as contributing factors and made changes there. I'm scheduled for a spinal tap tomorrow to rule out any infectious or auto-immune disorder not picked up by extensive labwork. HOWEVER, the ins co requires the orginal optho to do the referral for the neuro one. They refused.

Yesterday, I found an office for the ins co in Tampa that just so happens to be their corporate office. Collected the additional dr notes I do not already have (keeping a pile of them) and decided to head out. Looked up Lighthouse for the Blind and stopped there first thinking they would be able to give me tips on advocating for myself.

They took a look at just the opth notes and informed me I was legally blind in my right eye. Of all the drs I have seen, not a single one has said that. NOT ONE. I broke down on the spot. So they sent me over to the State Vision something or other to apply for free services because I qualify and could receive Lighthouse's service for free vs the $312 I don't have. Go apply. And because at the time of my test with the opth my left eye could still be corrected via lens, I don't qualify for help. Apparently, you must be blind in BOTH eyes to get gov't aid.
More tears.

On to the ins co who gets on the phone. Basically gets the exact same BS I have been getting for 3 wks now. Finally on the 4th rep he speaks with he's tired of the BS too and asks for a supv. Supv says he needs to call the opth and speak with the front desk supv and tell her she needs to do the referral and if she won't, they will remove payment from their capitalization. She still doesn't budge. Another call to ins co, meanwhile I am weeping in the corner again which I had been doing all freaking day anyways. They have the guy fax over all the notes for review.

This morning I get the call from the fr desk supv with a dr, date and time for the appt. But yesterday, hubs who has been oblivious to not just the amount of pain I am in, but the emotional stuff as well, realized I have hit the wall of what I can handle.

So my problem is now...I am losing vision in both eyes. Every last one of my MOST EFFECTIVE coping skills will be removed as well. They're dropping out now even. I read, I write. I sketch. I paint. I walk. Reading has become to difficult. I can't go back over what I write if it is even legible. Well, they're all visual activities. And walking? I live on a very busy road where vigilance of the traffic is important. Not to mention uneven terrain. And even this...being able to go online to my support going to go away unless I invite hubs in for a crystal view of my every negative thought I am working through that frankly he isn't handling very well as it is. I need to start a whole different approach to my treatment of the BP, but I don't have the time with the physical stuff and still allow hubs to work. I don't know what I am going to do.....

Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
DizzyJgirl responded:
(((Melly))) I don't know what to tell you hon. I can't begin to imagine how overwhelming all this must be. Do you have a therapist to help you deal with some of this?
I will be thinking of you and if I come across something helpful, I will let you know. Many hugs.
Live Life Loud
monkeybee responded:
I'm so sorry. I am thinking about you Melly. I hope they get something figured out soon.

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