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Cool-day Tuesday - May contain triggers
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margaroo posted:
Good afternoon all!

Weather: Beautiful

Sleep: OK

Mood: Depressed, anxious and impatient My son has been visiting for 10 days and he is very difficult to be around. He is autistic and has bipolar 1, and he will not take meds. He is a whirl wind of energy (he is 28) and sees the world as black and white. His manic shows through his super-religious personality. Please don't take that as an insult to religion, but he is way over the top. We had planned to have him go home after 5 days, but he wanted to stay to see some old friends here. He saw a few people, but he has been hanging around the house being critical of everyone. He eats a strange but healthy diet and wants all of us to exercise more. We do need to exercise more, but he wanted his 90 year old grandmother to "sprint" up our hill and do some light weight lifting. He argues over nothing and we have to walk around on eggshells. My husband is so afraid that if we don't do as he wants us to do we will never see my son again. I love my son, but he is here only 22 more hours and I can't wait to get things back to normal.

Plans: Go to the Motherhood maternity store to get a nightgown for my daughter. Her baby shower is Saturday. In addition to the gifts for the baby, I'm giving my daughter some things for her to pack in her bag for the hospital.

In addition: My daughter lives 500 miles away, so I have planned to arrived a few days before the baby is due and stay for a week or so after. My husband will be joining me as soon as the baby is born. When I spoke to her about being around to help her, me daughter makes it clear that she doesn't want me hanging around. My husband and I planned to stay at a hotel close by to give the new family privacy, but my daughter clearly stated that she won't need me. Her husband is taking a few days off after the baby is born and if she (my daughter) needs someone to help, her best friend is available because her friend's work is "as needed" so my daughter will not be needing me. She told me that we could stay with her, but I had not mentioned about being there before the baby is born. I told my daughter that I understood that no one someone hanging around. My mother lived only a few miles away and could come over if I needed her. That is the reason I was going to stay at a hotel, but my daughter made it clear that she wants me visiting only a few days. My heart is breaking and I am trying not to think about it, because I will seeing her on Saturday at the shower.

Thanks for letting me share my feelings here.

Hugs,

Maggie
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Reply
 
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melly2210 responded:
Definately not a cool day here.

Weather: Hot hot hot and humid

Sleep: Not enough..depression keeping me awake and the exhausted after

Mood: Irritable, exhausted. Depressed.

Plans: Got up and played taxi service. Came home and caught a nap. More taxi service. PC appt. Irritated with him. He doesn't get my frustration with the fact there is still NO dx for the vision issues. Didn't feel like cooking, so Chinese it was. Watching tv. Will go to bed early.


Maggie.....I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Hope things improve for you soon. <3

Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
 
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ddnos responded:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Maggie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} awwwwwwww I'm so sorry re the things your daughter said to you. Is this something your daughter would normally say and how she would feel or is this new? If new, I'm wondering if at least part of it could be hormonal and maybe protective and jealous of her new role as a mom, huh? Not saying that would make it easier for you to take, but just wondering. I hope that once she has the baby she will see things differently and come to realize just how lucky she would be to have your help and support!

Re your son - does he live on his own? I know that you said he is autistic, but from what little you shared here, it sounds like he's pretty high functioning - so wondered if he's able to live by himself or if in a group home type setting.

I can understand how you would feel great relief when it is time for him to leave your home, and that having nothing to do with your love for him! One can only take so much of the types of behavior you described no matter who the person is, you know?

I hope that you will take some time to pamper yourself a bit once he goes to his home because you deserve it!

Best wishes to you re your daughter!

Hugs
Debbie
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
 
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margaroo replied to ddnos's response:
Thanks Debbie,

Yes, my son lives on his own, but from what my husband and daughter have observed, no one would ever live with the mess. My husband handles my son's finances,i.e. pays bills, and puts an allowance in his back account. The tension was terrible on Wednesday. I drove out to get my hair cut and visit my niece and my little Rosie. When I came home Thursday my husband had calmed down.

I have talked to some of my friends and they all said that they did not want their moms hanging around, but wanted them after the baby was brought home. I'm packing now to fly to Sacramento and rent a car to attend the shower. I had a lot of fun buying things for the baby and a gown and robe for my daughter. Jenny has always been a bit distant to me. I was deep in the throws of depression when she was 16. I think the hormones has intensified those angry feelings. I am hoping the rush of pitocin mellows her out.

Thanks for the hugs, I really needed them.

Love and hugs,

Maggie
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.


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