Trying to deal with so many health issues among other problems. Feel like running away, but I took all my jewelry to pawn shop to go visit my family on West Coast last month and my Mom was in hospital. Short on money right now...too hot outside to work in yard, lawnmower broke down, no money to hire repairs...I watched on line how to repair, but do not have all tools needed. Have doubts if I can even do it. I always seem to think I can do anything, but accomplishing success is not always achieved. I guess that is grandiose thinking. I always thought it was a good thing, that I have good ideas, but not always achievable. Before I left to OR, I started a group of volunteers, did fund raiser, that didn't fail, but was not a success due to rain storm/tornadoes here in OK. I came home sick with bronchitis and have finished meds, was supposed to stop smoking, but didn't. I have to face/contact volunteers and business owners as we did not have the drawing to give away prizes from town businesses...have to reorganize. My house is a mess, my car needs oil change and cleaning. I am so disorganized in my house and yet I wanted to help the animal shelter, clean up the city and start a community garden. I set myself up again! It is almost 6 pm and I still am not dressed and have not achieved any thing...my brain is racing like a fan or motor running, but my body hurts and I did not sleep well. I feel like going back to bed, but feel guilty about not getting anything done. I am a mess today.
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