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    Hurt and a Little Mad *possible triggers*
    monkeybee posted:
    So...I went out on a limb (for me) and told my siblings about my illness. One of them (who has a masters degree in psychology, mind you) did not accept it. She said all kinds of insensitive things like taking medicine for a short time is fine but I think you need to be careful if they are telling you to take medicine for the rest of your life and that she had been around me and not seen anything that would cause her to think that. I reminded her that she was around me when I was most out of my mind for a week when I was on vacation and she said "I thought you were just really spiritual" and then went on to tell me that the enemy (the devil) will sneak in any way he can and try to rob our faith. She asked me "what does your husband think" and "what does your mom think." The worst part for me is because of her reaction, my reaction was to try to convince her I have an illness and I told her way more details than I would have wanted. She even wrote off and belittled the delusions. At one point she said "if you tell me you are making it all up, I will still love you." Seriously? When have I ever been dishonest with her? Never. Before we got off the phone she told me she loves me and she will be there for me however I proceed...she said it like I needed to make up my mind whether or not this is real. I can't decide whether to feel hurt or angry but I am so upset that I have lost sleep.
    melly2210 responded:
    I'd be pissed. Completely, utterly pissed. I'm a little more blunt when it comes to things like this. I'd probably asked her if she'd tell her patients who had a BP dx the same thing. I'd have gone off on her (been known to do that when it comes to my BP dx and family), a total bipolar moment.

    That being said, people, including family, see what they WANT to see, not what they should see. I am sure you, like I do, worry about the impact of lifelong meds are having on our bodies. Religiously speaking, there are extremists everywhere. Some people really do see our mood changes in conjunction with their faith. We're possessed. <snort>

    I've been through the whole disbelief and denial thing with most of my family, especially when they (and I) first learned I was BP. My step-father even told me during a manic episode that he was going to take me back to the "looney bin." I promptly picked up all of my meds, opened them, and threw them at him and told him fine. Go ahead. And then I went on to point out that anyone who goes to the casino 2-3x week was an addict and he should check himself in as well. That ended that convo. LOL

    You can't change who you are and your makeup. It is what it is and ultimately you have to live with it. As a tdoc in a crisis center once taught in a group, you cannot always "go to" family to discuss this stuff because they are too close to the problem, can't handle it, or WON'T deal with it. I can't discuss my BP issues with my mom, brother or step-dad although they've all accepted the dx. They understand but just don't WANT to deal with it.

    You have every right to be upset. But at this point, I would let it go. As my hubs says, "Don't let it rent space in your head." She's just not a go to person for you. She still loves you, and you her. It's just one of those things neither of you can talk about without you feeling the way you do.


    Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
    jselleck replied to melly2210's response:

    What can I say?? Family sucks sometimes. I've actually had mine tell me they don't want anything to do with me, don't even think of coming home to visit. Which really hurt. My sister, who is a very inteligent and well read woman, hasn't the foggest idea how to deal with me. She's rude, obnoxious, pig headed, and down right mean. And that's on a good day. Maybe it was the abuse she suffered while dating this guy in Ireland, maybe it's a mental illilness, I don't know. All I know is most of the time I can't get her to say two words to me. And she has no idea what I go through because of my bipolar. My parents aren't much help either. If it wasn't for my grandmother I don't know what I'd do. She's supportive and understanding and does everything she's capable of to help. My advice is find someone you does understand and cling to them. Let the back biting and poor manners just roll off your back. Yes it hurts, yes it isn't fair, but I've been forced to come to the realazation a long time ago that life isn't fair and throwing a temper tantrum isn't going to change that. (Although sometimes a good temper tatrum is just what the doctor ordered.) We're here for you if you need us. Take care.

    monkeybee replied to jselleck's response:
    I talked to her again today and the conversation went much differently. I feel better about it. Thank you both so much for your input and for making me feel better. I needed it today!
    jselleck replied to monkeybee's response:
    no problem

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