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Changes in Bipolar Disorder from Child - Adult
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Winterfox posted:
My son had signs of Bipolar sense he was about 8 years old. Teachers were wanting him to be on meds., for ADD. I told them all kids are hipper. a few years went by, I started to notice he was acting like a guy I use to date. My son was diagnosed at 13 years old with bipolar. He use to jump in my bed, every night, like someone was after him. Sometimes he would look at me like he had the devil in him. He would get bad grades in school or not want to go, unless he had his meds. He did a lot better in high school. He was on my medicaid until he got to the age he couldn't be on mine anymore. Now he is 21 & 6ft7inch, and thinks he doesn't have Bipolar anymore, and won't get a job. He can't get medicaid cause he doesn't have a part time job. I know he doesn't want to look cause the Bipolar is effecting him where he is lazy. He won't even apply for SSI cause he thinks there is nothing wrong with him. His friends tell him there is nothing wrong with him. His friend would try to get my son mad at him to toughen my son up. My son has always told me he never want's to get after the kids that pick on him. He said he don't want to put them in the hospital. He picked up a car battery when he was 2, like if it was light. There were a few times my son would hit the wall, with one hit and make a whole and hit metal things and made his hand swell. He said the walls don't matter like people do. He told his friend to stop cause, "It's coming, It's coming". I want to know how to convince him that he still has it. He is very mad at me that I keep on bring it up. He like to stay in his room and play on xbox all day and night, or he will sleep a lot in the day. He wants to do everything his friend does. It doesn't look like he likes me to well right now.

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mattthecat responded:
Winterfox my vote is tough love. Maybe you could make life impossible for him even threaten to throw him out if need be while letting him know you will you will back off if he proves you wrong with his doctor telling you he has the all clear no bipolar. If he has been diagnosed before then there is no way his doc will give him the all clear. If your son is as sure you say he is then he might go see the doctor just to get you off his back and prove you wrong. If things work out maybe his doctor can convince your son that he has bipolar. That is how i got my now wife to get diagnosed with bipolar. I first made the fact she had some sort of problem possibly bipolar such an issue that it became a constant disagreement/ argument. then i told her I would drop it for ever even marry her if she settled the fight once and for all and got checked out by a doc. I had the name and phone # of a mental health clinic in our area ready which she used to get me to drop it. Instead of her proving me wrong like she thought she was going to the staff at the clinic were able to diagnose and convince her that she had bipolar disorder. I have no medical training so take or leave my advice tough love worked for me.
No matter what i hope things get better for both you and your son.

Matt
 
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davedsel responded:
Hello. I read this Bipolar community frequently and rarely post, but your question prompted me to reply.

I was diagnosed with bipolar as an adult about 15 years ago. My wife and I have 2 sons, ages 23 and 21 that still live with us. Your son's behavior reminds me of some things are younger son is going through, but no where near that level.

Doing the 'tough love' thing may work, but I'm sure you are aware of all the risks involved with that approach. Mostly would be separation and losing your relationship with your son for a very long time. I'm sure you have tried to reason with him and make him understand that he needs medical help as well as therapy. I am surprised that you posted that he can not get medicaid because he is not working. I was under the impression anyone who qualified financially could get medicaid. Have you gone to their website? Here is a link: http://www.medicaid.gov/index.html .

Persistence may give your results eventually. Do no give up on him, but keep showing that you love him and just want the best for him. I know how hard this is for you and your husband, but keep trying. Hopefully he will eventually listen and take steps to get the help he needs.

I will be praying for you and your family.
 
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melly2210 responded:
First of all, it is good that you WANT to help him.

As for his violent behaviors like punching the wall and injuring himself, these are signs of self-injury and in most places can warrant an involuntary stay in a crisis center. Add in his wanting to hurt others. From my experience, this is where he needs to be.

As a child he may not have had the maturity to know what was wrong, just that it was. My son is now 16 and has been bp since he was 12. It has taken until now for him to acknowledge it and even now, he is not completely med compliant.

When I was diagnosed, I went through a period of severe denial. I didn't want to be BP. I didn't want to file for public assistance. And I didn't want to file for SSI and SSDI. I was scared of those things because they meant that I had to admit that I had a lifelong disease. It took support and love until I finally accepted the diagnosis and was open to treatment. And it took me several stays in crisis centers involuntarily and voluntarily before I reached that point of acceptance too.

Good luck!

Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
 
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finnessawilliams responded:
I've been diagnosed as bipolar for about 6-7 years now and I think that some tough love is in order here. I think you need to tell him like you would any other child, get a job or get out. Point blank. Also you need to tell him get an all clear from his doctor or go also. He is your son, but he is also a grown man, subject to grown man consequences if he hurts someone. You may love your son, but he could hurt himself, you or others.
There is no way that his doctor is going to say that the bipolar has disappeared and having a job with a schedule is crucial to provide a routine and a purpose.
I think that this is more than tough love, it's necessary love to let him know that he has to take care of himself. Let him know you are there for him, that you love him, but he has to love himself also. After he gets a job and talks to his doctor, have him fill out the paperwork for Medicaid. One thing I've learned, is that young men never think that insurance is important until they are laid up with a broken leg.
I hope this helps.


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