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how to deal with anger & anxiety
jetsonmainframe posted:
Anyone have some productive info. for me?
ddnos responded:
Hi, and welcome to the board!

How to deal with anger and anxiety is pretty generic (to me), so I suppose the answer would in large part be based on just how deep the issues go. If your anger and anxiety interfere with your life, then I would say that the best thing you could do for yourself is to find a good therapist who could help you work through them. You'd have to be willing to be totally honest with yourself and with your therapist, and serious about doing the hard work it would take for therapy to be of any value; but believe me, it's worth it in the end!

One thing that I have learned that has helped me a LOT with my own anxieties is something that took my therapist a long time to convince me of that it works - learning to control my thoughts. It's amazing just how much control we could have over our emotions if we could learn to control our minds.

If/when I start to worry about or have anxiety about something and my mind starts to feed into that anxiety, as soon as I notice it, I turn my thoughts to something else. Within literally minutes, my anxiety levels are little to none! Sometimes it takes going back and forth with anxiety producing thoughts before I'm able to let go of it, but it seriously works EVERY time. It takes practice, that's for sure, but I know that it works.

Just the other night I was in a situation where my thoughts got the better of me to the point where I was literally terrified! There was NO way I was going to do what I had said I would do the following day because of all the scary, irrational thoughts that I conjured up about it. I so much wanted to go, but I let my negative thoughts dictate my emotions in a way that wasns't healthy. So I cancelled the event.

The following morning I realized what I allowed to take place, and I contacted my friend and told her that I was changing my mind (again) and wanted to go. I couldn't let my completely irrational thoughts dictate what I was or was not going to do, and I didn't. I almost did.

My anxiety was magnified and blown out of proportion by MY OWN MIND, but it was equally tamed by my mind/thoughts!

Our minds/thoughts play a HUGE role in how we feel! I can sit here and think about something horrible regarding a loved one, and before I know it, I could be crying, or angry, or whatever the thoughts are.........the energy put into those feelings are wasted because they are not based on fact. But that goes to show just how much power we can have and do have over our feelings, positive and negative. That has been one of the bigger lessons I have/am learning and will never stop practicing!

Thanks for posting and hope to see you here again.

Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown

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Joseph F. Goldberg, MD, is a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, New York, NY. He also maintains a private prac...More

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