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Dr G and BEEPERS TOO! TRIGGER TRIGGER TRIGGER
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melly2210 posted:
My oldest son, 16, has not yet been completely dx with bp. Every sign and symptom is there. The roller coaster is completely evident. He was hospitalized 2 yrs ago due to ideations and spent a week on a crisis unit. Last yr he called and asked me to take him to the hospital. He was at his dad's house and he said his dad thought he didn't need to go. Hubs and I went up there, and with step-mom who agreed with my son's request, and more or less bullied his dad into going. All the while we were doing this, he was curled in a fetal position in a chair. He finally agreed to take him and we followed diligently behind him to make sure he followed through. Son said he wasn't suicidal out of fear of his dad's reaction. So they didn't keep him. I've had both boys since the end of the school yr full time. When my son asked me to help him get the right dx (he thinks he is bp too based on his experiences as compared to my ups and downs), I promised I would do my best. I've watched his mood go up and down, level out, and end where he is now...an apparent severe mixed episode. As of Monday morning, he'd averaged 1/2 hr to 2 hrs each night with sleep. One day he didn't sleep at all. He's got the classic racing thoughts. Violent outbursts triggered by his father's total disregard of his mental health wellness. He's bouncing from one thing to another. In a week, he's started 5 different paintings, none of which he can finish. Can't sit still at all. In addition, he's saved a pic from one of these instagram or other site like it that indicates how he feels behind the mania, which is severe depression. I did a little research on the pic and located it. It was, apparently, a suicide note from a teen who successfully ended his life. Son has no idea that's what it was, but it expresses how he feels. Hubs and I had decided Sat evening if he hadn't gotten at least one full nights sleep (5 hrs minimum uninterupted) that Monday he would be going to the crisis center.

I tried to discuss this with his father Sunday evening and was told under no circumstances am I to take him to an ER for admission. He told me to call his pdoc (who is going to send him to a crisis center (do not pass go, do not collect $200) if not involuntarily on site and transport him through EMS or Sheriff's office. He said if that's the answer, to take him to his pcp. I had to start an independent living class that I couldn't miss the first day of, so hubs stayed home to keep son under close observation. We've been afraid to leave him alone since he his day 4 of sleep issues. His dad came with a moment's notice to pick the boys up while I was gone. In a convo with son last night, he told me his dad was just trying to railroad me from helping him. I happen to agree. I can never get him to act as a team with me whenever it comes to this. He's an RN, and keeps saying I am projecting me onto my son. Even when son explains how he is feeling. It's disregarded.

Son is on lexapro, buspar and focalin. They've dx him with ADHD which I think is mania showing it's ugly head. He's always in constant anxiety. And obviously the lexapro dose is too low or is wrong. I know that we all usually start out misdx. I need to be able to convince the ex that our son really needs extensive mental health care. That medications are not bad, they help immensely. And that he needs intensive therapy. I've taught him some coping skills, but not enough to battle something as severe as the episode he is currently in. I also have to push the pdoc into looking into the bp as a possible dx. I was hoping that if he was in a crisis center, he would be further evaluated and HOPEFULLY receive a definitive dx. I need to do this ASAP.

Sorry for the ramble. Any suggestions? I really need the help. I am so scared for my son. And so ticked at his father.

Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
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momuv4girls responded:
So, I am wondering why he doesn't see the pdoc asap??

When my daughter is "off", I take her in right away.....

The divorce situation must be difficult, but your son is old enough now to tell his father he is not feeling well - - his Father must see this too...right ?

I'm sorry your son is struggling, that is an awful spot to be in - for a mother to watch, and your son : (

-Kathleen
 
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melly2210 replied to momuv4girls's response:
The earliest I got him in was Friday. Asked him if he felt he could hang that long and he said he could. The reason he isn't getting the care he needs is because of his father. We have an agreement that when something medical is involved that we both be aware and agree on treatment options. The problem is that he is in total denial and dead set against medications. My son is only on what he is on because I fought long and hard with him in front of the pdoc and she sided with me. If it weren't for his father railroading every attempt I make to care for our son, he'd have gotten care 2 weeks ago after the first violent outburst and the signs of severe depression.

Here's an example. I KNOW his dad came and picked him up while I was not home yet (my hubs was home, but didn't feel he had the right to stop him from seeing and visiting his kids) in order to prevent me from taking our son to the crisis center for evaluation, which was what we were going to do when I got home. Last night, my son only got 1 1/2 hrsn sleep. This is day 7 of this pattern. He txt'd me to let me know because he knows I am tracking this to discuss with the pdoc and/or crisis center. Asked him if he'd discussed what's been happening with his sleep, his emotional upheaval - mania and depression. He said he had. I asked how detailed and he told me as detailed as he would tell me. His dad's response? "OK. Do you want to go to Panera?" No further discussion. No concern. NADA. What is really making me mad is that he is an RN. Asked him Sunday what happens when people don't sleep for 5-7 days and I got no answer. Told him I knew he knew and reminded him that psychosis begins to set in. The body begins to shut down. Etc, etc. All I got was "ok." So yes, his father should be concerned and SHOULD SEE it more than anyone else, he just chooses not to do so. He doesn't understand his son. Period. Doesn't support him in his activities and dreams. It's always the whole negative aspect of you can't do that because...yada yada. Or you can't drop that because you are a quitter if you do. No wonder my son's self esteem is in the crapper.

Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
 
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momuv4girls replied to melly2210's response:
I'm truly sorry for the struggles you are having with your ex.

Here is a good resource that may help you and your son.....if you look down a bit on the page, there is the heading:
New Minor Consent Law Increases mental health care for California Teens.
http://www.teenhealthlaw.org/

Not sure which state you reside in, but N.Y. has a similar law. I would check into it, so maybe you guys can by-pass the ex.

Take care!!!!
-Kathleen
 
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melly2210 replied to momuv4girls's response:
Ex is being bypassed tomorrow. Working out symmantics right now with hubs and son as he wants his father and paternal extended family as far away as possible. So we'll be taking him tomorrow and I am not saying a word until he is admitted. THEN and only then will I call to tell him. Law or no law. I really don't care anymore. My son's health - mental, physical and emotionally - is the most important thing and only thing i care about. I will fight the battle with his dad when I choose to after it is too late to check out my son.

Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson


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