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    Questions I'm afraid to ask? Possible Trigger?
    ducky200318 posted:
    Well I got some good advice to write out the questions that I am afraid to ask in therapy. Here goes: 1). What if there I a trauma I can't remember when I was a child, that set off my disassociating then? And how am I suppose to deal with that? 2). What am I suppose todo with borderline personality diagnosis from years ago that I don't want to accept at all? 3). What do I do about my wife not believing me when it comes to be raped the 2nd time? 4). And what if deep down I can tell in my gut something is struggling to get out but I've got not idea what it is how do deal with that? 5). I have only once self harmed knowingly all the other times I was disassociating? And until now with all this stress I have conscious urge what am I suppose to do with that? I don't want to tell my therapist that because I afraid she tell me I am suppose to go to the hospital, I am not suicidal at all so she can't make me right?
    slik_kitty responded:
    you can't be legally forced into a hospital if you are not a danger to yourself or others.
    davedsel responded:
    Hi, ducky.

    I read your other posts and want to say how sorry I am you are going through this. I understand.

    These are all excellent questions for your therapist. Do not be afraid to bring these things out in the open. You will only find healing if you face these issues.

    I dealt with depression for decades due to having a father who was verbally and physically abusive. I saw many therapists and would quickly recover from my depression. I never truly dealt with the cause of my emotional problems until my father molested my son. Then suppressed memories came back and I started therapy again and resolved many issues. I eventually did end up in the psychiatric ward of a local hospital for a few days where I was diagnosed as being bipolar. I was 41 years old and had suffered with the mood swings for decades. I was put on the correct medications, continued with more therapy and am very stable today.

    Be good to yourself and be honest with your therapist. Hold nothing back and eventually healing will come.

    I pray you do find answers and relief soon.
    Click on my avatar picture or user name to read my story.


    ddnos responded:
    Good questions - your tdoc likely won't be able to get to all of them in one session as they seem to all be loaded questions - but good for you!

    Re question #3, I'm just curious if you have had time to read that article link I posted in reply to this issue and if so, do you think having your wife read it would be a good thing? I mean, maybe if she sees and understands that how you reacted was very normal and common, she may be more likely to come around, huh? Does she say why she doesn't believe you other than her perception of the way you reacted or didn't react? That might be something to talk with her (your wife) about more deeply. It just seems like there might be more reason that just that she thinks you should have fought harder or yelled, etc. and maybe she doesn't even know the reason why. Could be worth exploring with her. Not being believed is a huge trigger for me, so as I think I mentioned in an earlier post, I think her not believing me would by now have become a bigger trigger than the incident itself! But that's just me.

    I encourage you to go ahead and talk with your therapist on Friday and each session thereafter. If you're not suicidal, make it clear to her that you're not, and like Kitty said, you can't be forced to hospital if you're not an immenant danger to yourself or someone else.

    You're doing good work! I know it's not easy and no fun, but in the end you will be happy you did it!

    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown

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