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    overwhelmed possible triggers
    jselleck posted:
    Well it's about a quarter til 10 here in Texas and it's been another full day. This morning I had my presurgery consultation with the plastic surgeon who's doing my breast reduction. Yep, I'm going under the knife all for the sake of beauty. Or at least that's what my mom thinks. Actually I'm having the surgery done to help with the crippling back pain I suffer from. The surgery is scheduled for the 20th and I'm starting to have second thoughts. I've wanted this for a long time, just about every general practitioner I've seen has pushed it on me, but now that it's actually approved and scheduled, I'm wondering if I'm making a huge mistake. There's so many things that I have to do before surgery, and afterwards, I'm going to be pretty dependent on my husband for a long time. I've had surgery before, but nothing like this. Every thing I've had done before I've bounced back fairly quickly from and there really wasn't much after care. There's so much I've got to do to prevent infection and keep the scars from doing funky things, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I called my grandmother today to tell her that the surgery was scheduled and all she could talk about was how much better I was going to feel, how happy she is that I'm having it done, I felt a little betrayed. No reassurance that things would go okay, that I was doing the right thing/making a wise decision. And my mom, don't even get me started. I had a fight with my parents when I went home to visit in July and haven't spoken to them since. Grandma made me promise to call mom, and I just couldn't do it. I'm still too hurt by what happened in July. So Matt called. My father answered the phone and was down right rude to Matt and mom wasn't much better. At least I kept my promise and they both know. I'm so confused. I wish I could talk to mom about everything, but she's made it abundantly clear that she doesn't want to hear from me. Which hurts a lot. I miss the way things were, and I'm feeling very alone and scared.
    Well, I just wanted to get that off my chest. Hope everyone is doing better than I am. Miss you guys. The board seems kinda dead lately. Well, gotta feed the cats. They're being total pests. Night all.

    scissorartist responded:
    I can empathize! After I finally accepted my diagnosis 7 years ago and began taking my medications, I lost 100lbs! But I was left with large amounts of excess skin that made me look and feel even worse. I made the decision to have it surgically removed. I had 6 pounds of skin removed with my first surgery in April and another 2 pounds removed with my second surgery just last month.

    I understand your apprehensions, for sure, especially because I live alone. I had a friend stay with me for the first three nights of my first surgery and the first night of my second. I was scared to be left alone when my friend was gone, but I'm too stubborn to admit it and I hate depending on people. But, I WAS OK! I felt so empowered the next morning ... so proud of myself!

    It WILL be OK, Jessica. Do it. You'll be so much more comfortable and so much happier. Surgeons perform these procedures routinely and good ones have fantastic results, like mine. It was SO worth it!

    I'd like to hear how you make out, okay? Oh, and by the way, my biggest apprehension was how the oxycodone and oxycontin would affect my BP meds, but they were OK. I still only took them for the first three days for the first surgery and didn't take them at all for the second. It was rough, but I just felt better about not taking the full prescription. If you need them, though, take them! Best wishes!
    jselleck replied to scissorartist's response:

    Thanks for the encouragement. Wow, 100lbs, that's what I've gained since I started taking meds. You're lucky. Although I have managed to lose some weight, it's just really hard especially when you don't have the best support for it. My husband means well, but he thinks I'm beautiful the way I am and don't need to lose weight. Men! What do they know. I am feeling more confident about the procedure today. Yesterday was just so overwhelming. I'm even starting to look forward to it a little. So thanks for the encouragement, and I'll definetly let you know how things go.


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