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freaking out
ddnos posted:
Even though I knew this day was coming soon, I somehow didn't connect it with reality. lol So last night as I was laying in bed thinking (the #1 way to not sleep) it suddenly dawned on me.......December 5th IS my LAST session with my tdoc! My LAST Session! I don't know what I have been thinking, but it certainly wasn't that my last session really did mean MY LAST SESSION, i.e. no more sessions with my tdoc! None! Nada! Ziltch!

DId I think that my last session meant my last session of the year or what? Of course not! I knew that it meant it was indeed my LAST session - never again to walk into my tdocs office after doing so for two decades!

I'm devastated! I will feel so lost and alone without her - at least for a while! She did say that she will check in on me from time to time and that I could call or email her for a while (boundaries re all that will be established before I leave my last day). She thinks it would be cruel to just cut me off after working together for so long. Of course, this is not to say that we will get together for lunch or whatever or become friends....I don't want that with her after she retires any more than I want that now! She's my therapist, not my friend! But she just wants to extend the "weaning" process a bit by not completely cutting me off after my last day, which I appreciate. However, it won't be the same. She won't be my therapist anymore and so won't be able to talk with her about therapy things. It makes me feel afraid and alone. She's always been my go to person, but now my go to person has got up and left. Sigh (well, will next month)

Ok, I need to lay back down to see if maybe I can get at least a couple hours of sleep. Sometimes I wish there were a switch so that I could turn my brain off so I can sleep. lol

Have a great day, everyone, and above all, hold onto the hope that can get us through anything!

Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
slik_kitty responded:
jselleck replied to slik_kitty's response:
I'm sorry you're having to go through this Debbie. But take it from someone who's been in your shoes far too many times. You will survive and you will find someone just as good if not better. You take care of yourself. ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))

ddnos replied to slik_kitty's response:
Thnaks for the hugs, Kitty.

You remember I had free phone consultation appt with a therapist and then in person for one session to see if i would like her? I can't remember if I told you how it went, but it didn't. lol She seemed to be a nice person and all, but you know how sometimes you can just tell you're not going to connect with someone even the first time you meet them? Well that's what it was like with her. So she's off my list.

I had noticed someone else in my search, but for some reason, I didn't think I was going to check her out. But this past week I kept "running into her" on line and read more about her,ect. and so contacted her. She offers a free, half hour "meet and greet" in person, which I Like, and so I will see her this Friday afternoon. So we'll see how that goes.

I was just going to say more about thoughts re get new therapist, but i just hit the wall. just want to lay down sleep. can't focus enough to put correct words to whati want to say so will end for now.

Ok, you take care and thanks again
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
ddnos replied to jselleck's response:
Thanks J - what is longest time you was with one therapist when you had to find new one? I been with mine for 20 years and so going into a therapeutic setting without her being there is very hard to wrap my mind around. I go back and forth and wonder if it would even be beneficial to start with someone new at this point. I guess time will tell.

Thanks for your support
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
slik_kitty replied to ddnos's response:
you never told me how that went. good luck trying out the new person. you will find someone new who will work well with you. hugs
ddnos replied to slik_kitty's response:
tahnk you Kitty - I just still can't wrap my head around that dec 5 will be my LAST appt with my tdoc...LAST ONE! I getting tears in my eyes just typing that. I don't know what i was thinking all these months when i knew dec was last month because it certainly didn't feel like reality. Then just few days ago when thinking about it, it dawned on me that holy shoot, that gonna be my last appt with her! That means no more i can see her for therapy? What the heck i thought it meant before a few days ago?
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
ibex7 replied to ddnos's response:
In the future, ddnos, should you need expert counsuling, please contact a member of the Capra Bovidae family of goats. Please do not settle for a mountain goat for advice. Although those Oreamnos Montanii are subject to falling off the hill BIG TIME, if you know what I mean. Sure they are cousins of mine, butt they come from different states and lose their tempers often.

Choose a gentle, gentlemanly sort of ram that grew up in the flatlands. I promise you'll be humming happy tunes for the rest of your days.

Sometimes you don't mean to say what you mean to say you mean.

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