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Bipolar father and Husband
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marrsrunner posted:
Hello everyone. My name is Courtney and my fiance is bipolar. We started dating in 2012 and soon after I became pregnant. Within two months he had a "attack" as we like to call it. He would have the manic high where he would spend hours and hours of playing video games and spending money on them. Then switch and be low enough he couldn't sleep, refused to go to work, and became suicidal... We have been to a therapist and have tried three different medications in the past year. The first made him hear voices in his head, the second made him isolated, and the last one did nothing for him at all (except cause him a rash...) Our son is five months old and he struggles with his rage when he hears him cry or be fussy. He has begun to put his hands on me, not hit me but try and restrain me in a way. As soon as he does it he realizes what he does and lets go, breaking down and crying. I have been trying to help him and understand. I have read different books, spoken to his doctor, and tried to do research but I need some help.

How can I help him with his swings? What kind of diet should he eat, should he work out? I am not ruling medication out or counseling but I want to try and help get him on a healthy regiment to get his body to help keep him in control before putting foreign substances in him. I love him with all my heart and been working on trying to calm him down and keep the arguments down but I wish to bring back the "old him".

I take most of the stress away on finances and bills wise so it is not another thing added but I do not know how to help. He has been trying to sleep but can't seem to get enough as he is restless at night.. Please... if anyone has any suggestions it would be much appreciated. He wants to be a better man, as he says, but doesn't know how to either....

Please and Thank you...

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slik_kitty responded:
being healthy can help, but to fight bipolar he needs meds.
 
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ddnos responded:
I agree with Kitty - also, is your husband seeing a Psychiatrist or a General Practitioner? Has he been officially diagnosed by a Psychiatrist? Is he seeing a therapist for cognitive therapy as well as seeing a Psychiatrist for his medication?

Unfortunately, sometimes it can take a while before finding the right medication or combo of medications, so the key there is to be very patient. Also, it's absolutely key that your husband communicate with his doctor (psych doc) about symptoms, side effects, is the med working or not, ect., until he (with his doc) can finally find the meds that work for him. I know you said that he's tried 3 different meds already, and they didn't work - so he needs to continue until the right one(s) is found as frustrating as that can be. Some people get lucky and the first med the doc puts them on works, but I don't think that's typical. All meds work differently for each person. So hopefully, your husband is working with a Psychiatrist in his pursuit of finding the right meds because that is his specialty. A general practitioner can prescribe psych meds, but they don't specialize in that area, which is especially needed for someone with more difficulty with meds.

I hope that your husband wants to get help enough to do whatever it takes, which doesn't just stop at finding the right meds, but also getting into therapy so that he can work on the areas that medication alone can't do.

Good luck to your husband individually and to you and your family!

Debbie
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
 
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ibex7 responded:
Sorry I must be so frank, Dear Courtney. but with a few additional words, I will say, "Let him go." Be prepared to make great changes in your own life, or you will be trapped into responding to his moods always and, eventually, matrimony.

For the welfare of your child, file for child support immediately. If you win custody and he accepts the responsibility of payments, he may also respect himself, search for medical help, and a pharmaceutical regimen to help him seek mental stability.

Without attitude change in this young man, you will continue your unhappiness as a label for the rest of your relationship.
No mother should wish that on her child.
Sometimes you don't mean to say what you mean to say you mean.
 
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reneegigliotti replied to ibex7's response:
I agree with ibex. Bipolar disorder is not a license to be physically or emotionally abusive to ANYBODY, especially your wife and child. You need to get out. He either gets help for himself or he doesn't. You cannot risk an injury to yourself or your child based on his irratic behavior. If I were his psychiatrist, with your husband's propensity for violence, I'd admit him immediately and sort the meds out there.
 
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ddnos replied to ibex7's response:
Ditto what ibex and renee said
Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
 
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fc2cpf responded:
You forgot one. "Shopping!!!" that always works for me. It's the paying the bill part that is a real bummer.
 
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bpcookie replied to fc2cpf's response:
Usually shopping does help some Bipolar feel happy, its like a high BUT excessive shopping, spending too much and buying things you don't need can be one of the symptoms of Bipolar. Sometimes it can bankrupt you.
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