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    Advice please
    emknutson posted:
    I need some help and I am not sure where to turn. I have been living with depression for 12 years before they gave me the Bipolar diagnosis. I have been through 8 different therapists. Only 1 of them did I like. The woman I am told I have to see isn't helpful at all. I don't think my medicine is working. It doesn't seem to level me out instead I experience a "high" for a few days and then I level out for 1 or 2 days, and then I'm back to a depressive state. I really think I need someone to talk to that understands what it is I am going through. My husband tries but then he gets mad or irritated at the situation. I am at a loss and I am unsure of how to pick up the pieces and start moving again.
    ddnos responded:
    Hello and welcome to the board! I'm sorry it's been so rough for you!

    You said that you don't think your medicine is working - have you told your doctor and give him/her specifics as to why it's not? What kind of doctor are you see who is prescribing your meds? A psychiatrist would be the best one to prescribe and if your current meds aren't working, let him/her know so you can try something else that might work. It's very important to work together with you pdoc and not just let him/her do everything. Don't settle for anything less than what will work for you and makes a difference! Meds alone won't fix everything, but the right med or combo of meds is the best place to start!

    Feel free to share on here as much or little as you like!
    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
    emknutson replied to ddnos's response:
    Thank you.
    I have both doctors, a GCP & psych. My GCP wouldn't adjust or change my current regimen of Citalopram and Lamotrigen, he said I needed to see a psych. The only place near me that accepts medicaid doesn't have an "in-house" doctor. The only "visit" with the doctor is via monitor in a small room with an audience. I didn't get to talk to the psych, only his ARNP, he is who gave me the Wellbutrin and Trazodone. I have burst of "happy" similar to a high. The longest it lasted was 3 days. Then I stalled, then I slept for 2 days. I can't get an appointment with the doctor until April 2.
    It helps to have someone to "talk" to about it. I don' t really like my therapist. She is a very nice woman and fun to talk with. But she isn't the right fit for me. I can't open up to her. And there again, because of where I live and the fact that I have medicaid and no income I am left with only her.
    Thanks for taking the time to converse with me. I really appreciate it.
    ddnos replied to emknutson's response:
    Hmmmm, first, you said your GCP wouldnt adjust or change your current a GCP the same as PCP (Primary Care Physician)? If you ahve a psych doc, isn't he/she the one who prescribes your psych meds, and not your GCP? And, is your Psych doc the one you have to "visit" via a monitor? That is too strange for me! I'm sorry

    You have medicaid - do you also have Medicare? If you don't mind my asking, are you on disability? There just has to be a way to get you better care! If I were with you, I'd be knocking down doors to help get it for you - I'm good at that. lol

    So the current meds you are on are Citalopram and Lamotrigen? Are you also taking Wellbutrin and Trazadone? I wasn't totally clear on that.

    It's hard to be seeing a therapist that you don't feel comfortable really talking with and don't feel a connection - I know I couldn't do it. There's something sacred about the therapy/client relationship (in my opinion) that if you don't have, it doens't matter how good the therapist is, they won't be good for you.

    Maybe if you feel more comfortable giving me some more details (not too personal ones) then maybe I could see if I could figure some other resources you could go to. First one is the disability question and medicare.

    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
    emknutson replied to ddnos's response:
    There's something sacred about the therapy/client relationship - I agree.

    I don't have medicare. And because of lack of pay-in I'm told I can't get disability.

    Yes the GCP is the same as PCP. When I started the citalopram I was working with a PCP to start with something that would help regulate my anxiety. It helped until I became pregnant. Then after my daughter was born it didn't seem to do what it did before. Around that time was when Florida started offering Mental Health services through medicaid. I was going to the Life Management center to see both my therapist and my pysch doc. All was good...then I moved to Alabama and it was just easier to have the meds I was previously taking added to the medical chart at my PCP's office. It was after my 2nd visit that I asked about altering my meds. He said he wanted to wait until after I was reevaluated by a pysch before altering the Lamotrigen because it's specific for bipolar.

    Mental Health in Alabama sucks. I started going in Aug but didn't get to see the doc until Dec. And then it wasn't even a doctor. It was the ARNP and he added the Wellbutrin and Trazadone.
    Yes I am taking all 4: I take 1 Citalopram, 1 Lamotrigen, and 1 Wellbutrin every morning. At night I take the Trazadone to help me sleep. Sometimes it works.

    I think the other reason the meds aren't working is because of how deep my low is this time. When I was 24 I was working as a full time CNA, 40 hours a week. August 15, 2008 I threw my back out. I went to a chiropractor and had x-rays taken. Number one: a 27 degree curvature, 2: a bulge on my right shoulder blade pushing into the top right curvature. That had a rippling effect down my spine. Ending with my L5 and S1 vertebrae trying to come unhinged. With physical and mental pain I hurt all the time. No matter what. It just really depresses me that I'm only 30 years old but my body feels like an 80 year old.
    ddnos replied to emknutson's response:
    Hi, the folks who told you that you don't have enough pay-in (not enough work hours) to get disability are correct - sort of. If you don't have enough pay in hours, then you can't apply for SSDI, BUT, you can apply for SSI. SSI is for people who have either never worked OR who haven't worked enough hours to qualify for SSDI.

    On the Social Security site there is what's called a "Benefits Eligibility Screening Tool" (BEST) and it helps you find out if you could get benefits that Social Security administers. Based on your answers to questions, this tool will list benefits for which you might be eligible and tell you more information about how to qualify and apply.

    Anyway, the following is the BEST tool to see if you would qualify.
    Just click the red "Start Here" button toward the top of the page and go from there.

    You may even want to talk with a disability lawyer to see what your options might be. First appt is a consultation appt that you don't have to pay for.

    Are you currently working, able to work? does your disability greatly interfere with work?

    Anyway, I'm sorry that the mental health care where you live isn't very good. How sad it is that those of us with mental health issues don't get enough QUALITY care, huh?

    I'm sorry also for your back pain! That sounds horrible and I can imagine that that alone would hinder your ability to work at most places, huh?

    Hope to see you around

    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
    emknutson replied to ddnos's response:
    Thank you very much. You have been extremely helpful.

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