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    How?
    avatar
    ddnos posted:
    Sometimes when we choose to help someone out, there's not always a sacrifice involved, but other times, there is. I mean, we don't decide to help someone only when it's convenient (or at least that shouldn't be the criteria) Sometimes it costs to be there for someone else, but we still choose to be there and help because of love and/or the true desire to give of oneself to another. So I understand that, but how does one figure out when helping someone out is either 1) enabling them or 2) not good/healthy for me?


    If you have any thoughts on the topic, I would love to hear it!


    Thanks
    Debbie
    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
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    avatar
    bpcookie responded:
    Hey Debbie Doodles, That is a good question. I guess it depends on the individual your helping, the reason that this person needs you, how often they need you and also if it is triggering and or unhealthy to the *helper*.

    If you find yourself unable to detach yourself emotionally when your not around this person, then its unhealthy for you.

    (trigger) When my step mother passed away, my father needed support. Also my brothers wife had just left him and my other brother and father were not talking. So I tried to support each of them. All I could do was talk to them over the phone but once I hung up, I pulled myself away so that I wouldn't fall into an emotional pit. My sister on the other hand was unable to do that and now she is an emotional wreck.

    Take care of yourself. hugs and muahs
    Please join my community called GRUMPY GROUPIES ( http://exchanges.webmd.com/grumpy-groupies ) Fun and serious topics, nothing is taboo. So get on over there. Weirdo's are welcomed.


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