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Medical privacy question for all
reneegigliotti posted:
I am quite annoyed by someone who posted anonymously stating that she felt entitled to be told her boyfriend had bipolar order. She used terms like "confronted him" when she discovered his medication. "Aggrieved" and "betrayed" because she had a baby with him and now the baby could be bipolar. She said having a bipolar child worries her sick.

Here are my questions,
  1. how many of you would reveal very personal medical information about your bipolar disorder to your boyfriend or girlfriend if you knew they would be hostile toward your diagnosis?
  2. How do you all feel about someone taking the attitude that the worst thing that could happen to a child would be to develop bipolar disorder (you know as opposed to cancer, losing their eyesight, having a traumatic brain injury, etc.)
  3. Isn't the problem created by her for not creating a loving trusting relationship where he felt safe to share his serious medical issue?
  4. Would you give up your privacy to keep a belligerent partner happy?
I'm really interested about everyone's opinion. I feel really strongly about this.
  • Reply
    slik_kitty responded:
    actually, i think that if you are in a relationship that you should tell because that does have a bearing on the future and on children. on the other hand, if you can't trust the person you are with with the information that you are bipolar, then that isn't a very good relationship.
    reneegigliotti replied to slik_kitty's response:
    I would agree Kitty, in a good, loving relationship of course you confide in your spouse. When suffering is shared it is also halved. However, if you are in a relationship with someone who is hostile or negative toward your illness, I think the less that partner knows, the better. I'm a firm believer in HIPAA. Even for spouses and certainly for boyfriends and girlfriends. No one is really entitled to such private information unless they've shown themselves worthy of that entitlement through support and caring.

    What angered me were the assertions that she had a right to "confront" and that she was the aggrieved party. UGH. She was going to have a baby and the baby might have bipolar disorder. I wanted to tell her babies don't come out of the uterus bipolar and what was she going to do, abort, if she found out HEAVENS, her boyfriend had bipolar disorder? Bipolar disorder isn't Tesach's disease or hemophelia, for heaven's sake. It's not lethal (unless untreated). I guess the victim attitude and hysteria got to me.
    ibex7 replied to reneegigliotti's response:
    My take, renie, is to give them all a shot. After all, you wouldn't want to go through life as a pretense, would ya' ? Like Cookie says, if they can't take it, go bipolar all over their azzes. Its the only life we've been given, after all. - Goat
    Sometimes you don't mean to say what you mean to say you mean.
    ssmiddy responded:
    I believe in couples being forthcoming about stuff in general, but I wouldn't just go up to a girl I dated, out of nowhere, and say, "You should know I'm bi-polar."

    Now, it sounds like they were more than just dating if they had a child together. Is that correct? I mean, were they dating exclusively with it leading towards marriage? If so, then yes, I feel like he should have told her this, but not because it is her right to know, but because it is something that some people just can't handle, and Lord'a'mercy I'd NOT want a child with someone like that.

    So, let's answer the questions by the numbers:
    1. If I knew they'd be hostile, I wouldn't reveal it, but I'd also walk away from the relationship. Love me like I am, or don't love me at all
    2. The worst thing that could happen to a child, as it pertains to bi-polar, would be inheriting a bi-polar gene, if there is such a thing. But it DID go far enough for there to be a baby, so he should have dealt with this long before he dropped his drawers.
    3. Yes
    4. No. I'd kick ANYONE LIKE THAT to the curb.

    I've been with my wife of 25 years, for 28 years now (since we were both 16 years old). Through thick and thin, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, etc.......we took that stuff very seriously, as we vowed in front of God, our families, and friends to keep those vows.

    Now, I (the husband) have broken a few vows along the way, but my wifey has been, and still is perfect. She has had just cause to divorce me, didn't, and in the shape I've been in at various times over the years due to a service-connected disability, being an abused child, etc. (that list goes on), even with ALL of my issues, she has remained, faithful, loyal, caring, and loving.
    But, note again, we have been together since we were 16....we practically finished growing up as a couple, got married at ages 19 & 18 (she's a tad younger than I), we survived the Gulf War apart, and we've survived through very good and very bad.
    I say all that just to point out that we are different, therefore "I" am different than this dude you're talking about.

    The "lady" should get over it or get out. Whatever. If she can't handle bi-polar in a mate, she can't handle any mate IMO.

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