Bipolar Disorder Community

it has been extremely difficult trying to get this posted, simply because I could go on for a life time explaining what i'm trying to ask. In the shortest possible way to explain this:

I am a guy and 24 years old.

ever since I can remember (maybe 5 years old) I have been extremely hyper sexually, way before my friends, I was never afraid of girls and it was difficult getting through the first grades of my life with out so much sexual attraction. I was hyper in general and that led to peer development problems. I have always had a stable and loving family but growing up my parents wanted to help so many kids, so we had foster care kids coming and going and many were violent. This is when I noticed my rage increasing. A rage attack for me is unique because there is no ego involved, it is simply a reaction to the slightest bullying or attempt at intimidating me, I feel cold inside, my eye sight sharpens, my heartbeat sits around 120 and I feel invincible. At 24, my sexual control is next to none and my anger is just like Bruce Banner and the Hulk, I watch the movies over and over watching my life, shedding tears because this is reality for me. I have been to doctors, and have been diagnosed with Bi Polar, Anxiety, PTSD, Rage Attacks, IED and have been put on many anti-psychotics and anti-depressants, as well as schedule 2 adhd meds etc. despite all these, it does not help at all and I have been on most of them for years. I have had many traumatic events in my life including my dad being severely injured several years ago, I had to hold his head together while a helicopter landed after a wood cutting accident, this just fueled my rage. I have studied and studied, everything from a broken fight or flight reaction, to bi polar 1 and 2, rage attacks, IED, even primal rage since my rage attacks are very animal like. Between my Hulk and my hyper sexuality I have a full plate. Yet in-spite of all this, I have a very good friend base, I am sociable and would go to the end of the earth for people. I took a quiz and found that in Maslows law i am an ENFJ, a wanderer. I am a believer in spiritualism and quite frequently meditate, I would say my largest ally has been my own control which has helped but it does not answer my question. What exactly do I have? my only guess has been a hybrid combination of some form of PTSD due to my emotional vulnerability and events in my life, a form of mania from bi polar which would explain my tremendous ability to get many things done as well as the variety of hobbies I have, and possibly some other type of rage dis order, that would explain each doctors diagnosis. the problem is that one doesn't explain everything. However, despite all this though I have fallen in love with some of my benefits, I almost see my hulk as a mysterious hero, someone who with out i dont think i could live my life the way i do. My artwork and writing skills are out of this world and my ability to comprehend universal concepts, time, physics (I am in college) are unbelievable. It is a love hate relationship with myself, I have some of the best sex in the world, get some of the biggest satisfaction from my rage because of the adrenaline and just love to think about things due to my wandering mind. My relationship is very stable, and I am very well liked in my community. The real thing that bugs me is what exactly do I have? and how can I control the parts that I want to control with out destroying the many benefits that have surfaced over time? I really would be lost with out my ability to create and wonder. If anyone out there knows please let me know.

Thank you,

Nate