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Did Your Life Turn Out The Way You Planned?
larsstarscanary posted:
I would like to know if your life turned out the way you had planned in spite of the bipolar disorder.

I know mine didn't.

Take the Poll

Did your life turn out the way you had planned in spite of the bipolar disorder?
  • Yes, and I'm doing fabulously.
  • No, and I have regrets.
  • My life's not better or worse..
View Poll Results
bpcookie responded:
Actually, my life turned out much better than I had planned. I am a very lucky person. I have everything I could want and more.
RogueFemale responded:
What an interesting question. Some things in life turned out the way I planned--marriage, children, career. But I certainly never anticipated having to battle my brain and mood states every single step of the way. I am a very fortunate person, but I also firmly believe we must strive to make the best of whatever life deals us. Best of luck to everyone with that process (and golly it IS a process, isn't it?)

Topaz03 responded:
No:( I shouldn't complain. I have a very healthy child. I've had a tough life though and wish I didn't go through some things that I made the choices to be in these situations, though not always well...
Mabey I wanted too much. I wanted a stable life with a stable job. I wish I had the job I had 20 yrs ago:( I was supposed to go to college and have a decent job, but I wasn't well enough.......

Now, I'm having some trouble with my dd and I believe I still would have been the best mom, if not for all this stress!

I could write a book. I apologize. Deep down inside I am ashamed of myself as a human being.

I should be glad I'm still here, but my life wasn't supposed to be this way!!!
RogueFemale replied to Topaz03's response:
Please don't be ashamed of yourself as a human being. That's so sad!
maddie8415 responded:
It absolutely did not turn out how I planned, in very good ways and not so good ways.
Topaz03 replied to RogueFemale's response:
Thank you Karin. You are so kind:) It's okay. It's an internal battle I've had for years. I've done some awful things...........

I had a........what would have been a good job for me 20 or so years ago, but quit after my first manic episode.
I tried to go back and I had every intention of staying. They hired me back and within a few hours, I said I was "sick" and I rushed out in tears............
I knew the way everyone looked at me, that they knew I wasn't stable...............

I really haven't been able to stick to anything. I was wonderful w/ my dd in school and she got great grades, but now she's failing everything. It has to be all my fault.

I've done some things in the past that haunt me to this day. I truly believe that if I had known I was Bipolar and had been getting the proper help that things would have been better, but you never know.
I have lots to be grateful for though.

On the bright side. I know that I'm a really good person. I've come a very long way. I haven't had the best life, though many others have had it could tell my anything and I wouldn't judge you. I'm not a small minded person and I have a huge heart, which I am proud of...............
I'm rambling.....................
jselleck replied to Topaz03's response:
My life didn't turn out the way I planned. And I had it all planned out. I was going to go to college double in spanish and journaism then get a great job at a chrisitan magazine. Well life happened, I got engaged then left him two months before the wedding, I got envolved with an abusive jerk left him, got back with my fiance, then couldn't get a job using my degree. Had a really good job that I loved but the the bp got in the way and I lost it. Now I'm on disabillity and climbing the walls to get out. In some ways I'm better off, (have wonderful hubbie who loves me and cares about me) but in ohters I'm worse. And I'm still paying off my student loans. that's the real kicker. Can't work but still have to pay for education that I'm not even using. UGH!!!!!
bipolargal responded:
I don't think anybody's life turns out exactly as it's planned. No one can predict the future, so it's good to have goals, but there are always complications and things that pop up.

My answer to your question is "yes and no".

Do I have regrets? Of course everyone does.

Has BP affected my life? Yes, it has, but there are people with much worse afflictions than BP. Do I wish I wasn't born BP? Yes, but I also wish I was born 3" taller. We don't get everything we wish for, so we just have to play the cards we are dealt. Everyone faces some type of adversity.

Thanks to meds, and the best therapist in the world, my life has gotten a little better everyday. Before the meds/therapy, I was cursed. After the meds/therapy, my life is blessed.
Syne_ replied to Topaz03's response:
Hi Topaz:

I have been reading your posts for a long time and I think that you are a very good person.

We all have issues and circumstances where we didn't do the correct thing or make the best decision. Don't put yourself down for this, even the so-called "normal" people have these problems, noone is perfect.

Maybe an assertiveness class would help you deal with low self-esteem issues, just remember that you are a good person and you are trying hard to be the best that you can be. You can't change other people, they will think what they will think, try not to care so much about what other people do or say.

Hope this helps,

hope7951 responded:
I planned to be a teacher and have children but those things never happened, however when you are 18 and picking a left youcan't begin to im again how you and the world will change inthe next 40 years.

They saw something in my college pyshc tests that did not alow me to go into teaching. I was 28 when my bipolar hospitalized me and back then with my family history, they recommended no children. But I managed to keep the man I married in 1973 and have done so much more with my career than I ever would imagined, that my life is an unfolding delightful venture.

The older you get , the ore you can look back and see a pattern of having to have so-called "bad" experiences inoder to teach you the lessons that prepare you to be and know what you are going to need next. No part of my life (either good or bad), if taken out, could have prepared me for what I am doing right now.

When I look back, it is the death, dissapointments, loses and hurts that have molded me and shaped me for the better...much more then picnics, state fairs and birthday parties. I am grateful for it all. Without the challenges, decisions and choices, I never would have exposed all the strenght, love and persistance I now treasure as my core.

(Trugger) As you get older as well, you realize that you do not know what the future holds, but you know who holds and future....and it is not me myself.
larsstarscanary replied to bpcookie's response:
I'm glad someone's life turned out fine!
larsstarscanary replied to RogueFemale's response:
It's amazing that you were able to amass so much although you had to battle your brain.

Yes, it is a process.

larsstarscanary replied to Topaz03's response:
I admire everyone with this illness who was able to have and raise children.

Though you might feel shame about some things, I'm certain you have many things to be proud about, Topaz03.
larsstarscanary replied to jselleck's response:
I hear you! I had it planned out. I was goal driven since I was a toddler/preschooler. All of what I planned came true, and then, Bipolar came and ruined everything.

I was lucky that when I went to grad school, I was working full-time and going to school full time and able to pay for school as I went along. When I graduated, I owed nothing.

But after the bipolar took over, my degree can't help me. At least I had a long time using it--I had so much fun when I was able to work and work in a field that was fun! Too bad.

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