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talked with tdoc and cathe
ddnos posted:
Cathe called me this afternoon and listened to me try to talk in between crying. In the end, she decided to put me on lorazepam on a regular basis temporarily until this extra stress goes away and for nighttime, to take 1 or 2 lorazepam along with 1 sleeping pill, temazepam. She said to go to bed right when i take it and not do the dishes first. I laughed and asked what made her say that. She said, umm, I've known you for 20 years! 'nuff said!

My tdoc called this evening and was able to make arrangements to see me tomorrow afteroon 3-5 p.m., so i'm happy about that. was worried she wouldn't be able to see me till thursday, which isnn't too far away, but i need to see her sooner than later.

didn't go see my dad today and am feeling slightly guilty but trying not to.

oh, cathe agrees and thinks my current breathing problem is anxiety and hopefully the lorazepam will ease that up. she will still check it when i see her next week.

ok, thas all. thanks again for all your loev and support; it means a lot to me. I wish i could be here more for you all right now, but i guess that's the way it goes, eh?


“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”
bipolargal responded:
Hi Deb, I am glad that you were able to get all your ducks (docs) in a row.

Have you been using the meditation mp3 you sent to me? I remember the deep breathing exercise, really helped to relax me. I still use it on occasion, when I am having trouble sleeping.

Don't feel guilty about not visiting today. If you were my child, I would want you to take at least a day off, to take care of yourself for once.

I haven't even known you 20 years, but the doing the dishes comment made me chuckle, because you are always cleaning something. I picture you like when they speed up a film to super high speed, dashing around and cleaning your place at 500mph. lol You get more done in a day, than I do in a month!
If you fall off that swing and break your legs, don't come running to me. author unknown
ddnos replied to bipolargal's response:
Hi bipolargal, thanks for your thoughts.

nope, haven't been using the MP3 meditaiont thing lately - have thought about it, but by the time i thought of it, iw as already in bed and too lazy to get up to get it. lol

you crack me up re your comment on the doing dishes I'm such a clean aholic lol even though you can't always tell in my appartment.

yeah, looking forward to seeing my tdoc tomorrow though probably about the only talking Im going to get done are the "im sorry" in between sobs.

I went to pick up my meds and my insurance won't pay for for either of them because of the class of meds they are. So i have to pay for them. Well, I was surprised at how much the lorazepam cost. It was $78 for 120 pills. I said, "no thank you" lol So I called around and I can get the same amount for $12.87 at Costco! How can they do that? It makes no sense to me! Me think one pharmacy is pockiting too much. lol

Anyway, am hoping to be able to sleep tonight - last night didn't get to bed till around 6 a.m. this mornign! not good.

Take care

"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
fuzzer29 replied to ddnos's response:
Hey, can you come over to my place? It's a mess and if you're a cleanaholic, then you will love my place! Lol! I'm kinda wondering how your insurance company can not cover a certain class of meds. I think lorazepam is a class III controlled substance. If they cover narcotic pain meds (class II) then I would think they would have to cover that med by law. You might want to check your state pharmacy laws just to be sure what the regulations are regarding drug coverage, and double check to see if your insurance company is right and following state laws. To my knowledge, they cannot go against state laws, and when they do, that is when you call the insurance commissioner of your state. Just and FYI so maybe you can get your meds covered. Hugs!
No matter how high the throne, there sits but an ass. -Voltaire
ddnos replied to fuzzer29's response:
hi fuzzer, i asked today and the reason no coverage is becasue i am on a medicare part D insurance and that's one class they won't cover becasue its addictive...don't know if they would cover something like a pain pill...insurances i used to have covered that and temazepam, but it wasn't a medicare insurance - so i don't know.

re cleaning your house - would love to lol that's how weird i am lol people say that ot me all the time but then when they see i take them seriously, they won't let me! what's up with that? pout!
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
hereinmyhead responded:
  • **Debbie***

    It sounds like you have a pretty awesome tdoc, pdoc & Cathe. I'm so glad they were able to see or call you. I hope you aren't still feeling guilty. I know that's easier said than done, but keeping yourself well is tremendously important too. Lean on everyone that will let you and take care of yourself. Maybe it might even help if you did something nice for yourself? I don't mean like "self-indulgent" or frivolous, but maybe something like starting a scrapbook or collage with all kinds of pictures and embellishments? I don't know...I'm thinking out loud again.

    snowyowl33 responded:

    Very glad to hear you were able to get into see your doc's so quickly. I know they are a great support for you and that's what you need right now.
    Don't feel guilty about not going to see your Dad for one day, you needed a break, and must also take care of your own health at this time...

    Hope today is a gentle day for you

    One good thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs! :)
    slik_kitty responded:
    glad you got a med to help and found somewhere cheap to get it. take care of yourself today. hugs
    ddnos replied to hereinmyhead's response:
    thanks susie - yes, I would have to say that I do have an awesome tdoc and cathe (I don't have a pdoc - cathe serves as my pdoc - she's an ARNP and has been my "pdoc" for 20 yeras minus a few when I was unable to see her.

    ANyway, they are both the greatest and I refuse to let them retire! lol

    Thanks for your thoughts re not feeling guilty - I fully understand in my head, but sometimes my heart doesn't agree. My appt with my tdoc isn't until 3 p.m., so I will try to go visit my dad briefly (at least) this morning.

    Thanks again for your thougths and support!

    "When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
    ddnos replied to snowyowl33's response:
    Thanks Snowy, for your support. As I said above to susie, trying not to feel guilty and at times, doing Ok about that - and other times not so great. I don't think he has much time left and so will try to go see him this morning sometime before my tdoc appt. Maybe I can get in and out of there without losing it. It's just so painful looking at him the way he is and remember how he was. Even more so wehn I thnk of those moments when he was alert and found out for the first time that he is dying. I can't even imagine what that must have felt like for him.

    Thanks again


    "When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
    ddnos replied to slik_kitty's response:
    Thanks Kitty - yes, it's crazy how the same med will cost a huge amount at one pharmacy and then significantly lower at another. I still don't understand that.

    I was able to sleep a little longer taking both meds, but still only 5 hours. Cathe said to first try taking 1 lorazepam with my sleeping pill, but if that doesn't work, to take 2 lorazepam. I will try 1 for another day or two, but if I don't start getting more like 7 hours continual sleep, I will increase it to 2 lorazepm.

    I hope you have a great day, and thanks again for your thoughts and support


    "When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."

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