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    Big Thank You (but with possible triggers)
    hereinmyhead posted:
    Hi all,

    I just want to tell everyone how much I've appreciated reading your thoughts and sentiments regarding my sister. I know I have been terrible about writing back or replying to the boards. I don't handle death well...I never have, and never seem to no matter how much time passes. With my own sister, it's still unimagineable to me, often to the point where I don't believe it really happened. I can convince myself of as much in minutes when I think about it enough.

    Her funeral was yesterday, and I'm still pretty shaken. However, all your words and hugs have meant the world to me this past week. I can't thank you enough for being such dear friends.

    ddnos responded:
    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Susie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I don' t think death ever gets easy, you know?

    I can totally understand what you mean when you said that its "still unimaginaeable to me, and don't believe it happened.." as you know, my dad just died the 20th and it doens't feel real some days. Some days I'm fine and other days I fall apart...but let me remind you as someone reminded's normal. You are reacting normally to a tragic event - you are normal. It will get easier, for some it takes longer or less time, but it will get easier.

    You are getting through this, Susie, just the fact that you are here shows that you are! Keep reaching out and don't worry about if you can reply to anyones post or email right now, we understand. We are not here for ourselves, but for you!


    "When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
    melly2210 responded:

    Like you and Debbie, death doesn't come easy to me. And there are stages of grieving that we all go through. And both of you are at varying stages of NORMAL grief.

    Will the loss of your sister ever stop mattering? Or Deb's Dad? No....15 years later and not a day goes by that I don't think of my Dad. But I carrry him with me each and every day. Remember that during the hard times.
    Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson
    hope7951 replied to melly2210's response:
    It is hard to know how to help with grief because people experience it so differently. The timeing of when things hits you is something over which you have not control.

    After a long two months, my father's actual death seemed a blessing and there were so many things to do. It wasn't until months later when my husband and I went to a grocery store I always had to take him to for meat and eggs that I broke down in one of the aisles for no reason.

    My father was old and very ill. The grief is so different for someone young or people with things left undone. Faith of any sort helps greatly. A belief in the greatness of the universe and that some plan must be in place so everything meshes togher and makes sense.

    I gave my mother a book on grief and it made her feel worse. I had found comfort from it. However you feel is right. However you express it is right. Doing the undone things was my way of dealing. You each have your own.

    Like bipolar, you go through the stages and then get to acceptance and feel like the pain and working through it has strenghtened you and made you better in many ways, and for this you thank your loved one.
    Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
    bpcookie responded:
    Hi sweet heart, Its great to hear from you. It must have been Hell for you yesterday sweetie pie. I hate to think of you in pain. You have had so much to go through for so long now. Im so very sorry.

    If your not up to meeting me on Sunday, I totally understand, dont worry about it. You take all the time you need to grieve. There is always next year and I can always write to you and call you. I want you to take care of you and only do what you want to do.

    love you very much honey. xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox
    I can't be bothered with a cell phone in my car....I am too busy making finger gestures at everyone!!!-Maxine
    snowyowl33 responded:

    Just sending you more and more gentle hugs..... you will go through things in your own way, and when you are ready to. Just take it one day at a time.....and be gentle with yourself, and let the tears low... we are always here for you, I'm sorry your in such pain...I understand..

    Hugs n' love
    One good thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs! :)

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