constantly in pain it seems like
avatar
Vintage13 posted:
I have been on here before, venting, and the last time I did I checked myself into a crisis center for several days because I had decided at that time that I was going to do something final to myself. Well it has been a few months since then. I have been removed from work (they do not want me there but will not fire me due to other reasons) and trying to both file for disability and a bankruptcy at the same time. I am constantly tired. I am constantly in pain. No matter what I do, what meds I take, who I talk to, its all the same. I don't think I'll ever pull out of this.. day by day I get worse and worse. I think constantly of what it would be like for everyone if I wasn't around. And yes I know how much a suicide hurts a family (knowing this by experiencing it firsthand) But I also know what it does to everyone to be around them making their lives miserable everyday.. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to keep doing this to everyone I love.
Reply
 
avatar
bpcookie responded:
Hello Vintage, please hang in there. hugs
I can't be bothered with a cell phone in my car....I am too busy making finger gestures at everyone!!!-Maxine
 
avatar
Carl_1970 responded:
Hi Vintage13,

I hope to that things are at least a little bette for you now.

I have also been that desperate - looking at many packets of pills in the cupboard and wondering whether I should just take them all to stop all the suffering.

I found writing in any form a great help. Over the best part of a year I have got my life back to close (it'll never be exactly the same) as it was before I gor Ill with Bi-Polar Disorder.

Please just keep going - I truly believe that IT WILL get better.

Thinking of you.

Carl.