Bipolar Disorder Community

I'm grumpy and irritable, in a lot of pain with the ankles today. The last time I looked at the clock last night it was 5 am. I just couldn't get comfortable.

I'm awakened with a call at 8:30 by the kids. I'm barely awake, and I can tell their call is being monitored. I had asked to do a skype or video call with them WEEKS ago, so after I've talked to the boys and said all there is to say really, I'm told "Dad wants to talk to you." Shared he mailed my present from the kids today and he was downloaded Yahoo messenger right now so I could do the video call. It was in THAT voice...that tone of voice that even when I was married made me want to reach out and belt him across his mouth. The I hate you are making me do this voice. So I tell him it isn't necessary and not to bother.

Anyways he presses further, forcing me up and off the couch to run a brush through my hair so I don't look like some junkie coming off of a bender. We finally get through on skype, and the boys were so excited. And I sat here managing to hold back the tears. My oldest is sporting longer hair now. He's growing it in for that stylish look, and it's waving out perfectly. And a mustache. My baby has more than peach fuzz. Not an attractive look. His father needs to teach him to shave. Anyways, they're brothers, siblings and boys yet to boot so they're goofing around and wrestling with each other. And the ex walks in and says "Don't ruin your mother's birthday by making me hang up." Anyways, he may as well have because the conversation and ease of all of it came to a skreetching halt. Plus note that my oldest point blank asked if the video chat could have been done sooner. I go, yes. He goes, why didn't we. Laid that back at his step-mom and dad's doorstep.

My mom follows up with her call. "Happy Birthday, I'm sorry I couldn't afford a birthday gift or card for you this year, but guess what Fred (her SO of 9 yrs) got me for xmas? A chocolate diamond pendant that says I love you at the bottom with a necklace!" Gee, mom, that's just....great. Then I hear all about the medical problems and end of call. I guess the fact that she actually acknowledged the day as opposed to last year is good.

And then I have to walk to the store to pick out my own cake. Roomie's dad was making tamales. No idea what happened to that concept as I layed down to sleep. I was looking forward to them. But apparently now I am having SOS. Joy oh joy. The daughter brought over a friend, driving her mother out into my space where in low 30's temps and wind, she's not only got the AC on, but a fan blowing over her and directly to where I am. No one can talk to me because she has a migraine.

And people wonder why I want to skip this day?