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storm224 - caution! religious answer regarding forgiveness
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marysings posted:
If I did not forgive, I would spend the rest of my life with bitterness and hate in my heart. That's not how God wants us to live. From the time of the first sin in the Garden of Eden to the day that Jesus Christ died on the cross, God demanded that man offer a sacrifice as atonement for their sins. When Jesus was crucified, died on the cross, and then was raised again after three days, He replaced the need for man to offer their/our atonement for our sin.

God does not allow sin in His life. Remember in the scripture that Jesus cried from the cross "Father, why have You forsaken Me?" God turned away from Jesus on the cross when Jesus began to bear the weight of our sins upon Himself. When we ask Jesus to come into our hearts and forgive us of all our sins, He does that because He has already paid the price of our sin. Jesus is our representative. When we get to heaven, Jesus will stand with us before God and proclaim that we have believed and our sins are forgiven. Belief in Jesus Christ is all we need to get into heaven. We still sin and we still ask forgiveness for our sins but we are now the children of God.

Forgiveness isn't about the person who hurt us. They probably will never need to know that they have been forgiven. Forgiveness is for me. For me, so I don't have to spend the rest of my life angry. You've seen old, crotchety people, haven't you? I don't like being around them and their negative outlook on life. I want to be able to sleep at night without hate or malice towards other people. I want to find happiness and contentment so I can grow old gracefully.

Forgiving means erasing a wrong. In my own experience, I realize that I have truly forgiven my abuser because my heart-pain over the wrong has decreased and I feel no turmoil over the situation. I can talk about the incident and not feel my stomach tighten or my voice become constricted. I have no tears, no anguish, no hateful thoughts.

Forgiveness is truly a blessing from God. We can be at peace with ourselves.


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My forgiveness of my uncle, the girl, and the boy was easy because my uncle is dead, I don't know where the girl is, and when I see the boy (man) has returned to town, I avoid him.

My mother has dementia and lives in a make-believe world. She would have no idea what I meant if I went to the nursing home and told her I forgave her. I did forgive her several years ago but with the remembrance of the early abuse, I have "taken back" my forgiveness.

My father died when I was 14. Like I have done with my mother, I have "taken back" my forgiveness to him.

Someday I want to forgive my parents, but it is something that I have to work towards. The final memories are simply too painful right now.


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I hope this answers your question.

Love,
Mary
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart.  Have patience with me as I heal.
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